The Road so Far…

Photo: campbellphoto.us

We’ve been through eight audition cities in seven episodes so far and we’ve seen less than half of the 147 singers who made it to Hollywood. Have there been any true standouts?

I’m one of AI’s biggest fans, and I have been disappointed with what we have seen so far. As always The Idiots In Charge have chosen to slice/dice/edit the footage in ways that will bring the ka-ching, not show us who can sing.

Below is a review of the auditioners we saw make it through.

My Favorite:
Ann Marie Boskovich, the Kara fan who was told to come back as “herself.” She sang “Bubbly” better than Colbie Caillat.

My Kid’s Favorite:
Alex Thugman, he of the moldy closet; she adores nerds, likes his voice and how he snarked off to Simon.

My Hubby’s Favorite:
Von Smith, he sang “Over the Rainbow;” I thought he was over-the-top but hubby thought he was awesome.

Best Backstories:
Danny Gokey, the recent widower
Kai Kalama, the guy who takes care of his mom
Lenesha Young, the former homeless songwriter
Rose Flack, the bohemian orphan
Scott MacIntyre, the blind pianist

Nice People with Kids:
Alexis Grace, blonde mom of daughter Ryan
Asa Barnes, band director with the little girl
Frankie Jordan, the new mom who sang Amy Winehouse
Jesus Valenzula, his kids got him through on pity vote
Lil Rounds, tornado surviving mom of three
Matt Breitzke, bald family man welder
Meghan Corkrey, the mom with the tattooed arm
Michael Sarver, oil rig worker

Teenagers on a Mission:
Arianna Afsar, “Adopt a Grand-friend”
Austin Sisneros, president of his senior class
Cody Sheldon, maker of horror movies
Jasmine Murray, this year’s Janay/Paris
Monique Torres, the teen girl with the little brother
Stevie Wright, the one that Simon says is “too nice”
Taylor Vafifanua, tall teen a’la Jordin Sparks

Style Over Substance:
Ashley Anderson, the Simon suck up
Casey Carlson, the Mandy Moore look-a-like
Jorge Nunez, the cute Puerto Rican guy
Julissa Veloz, beauty queen Tyra look-a-like
Sharon Wilbur, pretty girl with the shih tzu

Most Original:
Anoop Desai, from UNC, looks like Kumar
Deanna Brown, blonde southerner with a very unique voice
Emily Wynne-Hughes, tattooed, multi-pierced rocker
Jessica Furney, Lisa Loeb type folksy girl

Already in the Biz:
Adam Lambert, the guy from the play Wicked
Brent Keith, was on Nashville Star
David Osmond, of the famous family, has been battling MS
Jackie Tohn, husky-voiced musician
Joanna Pacitti, this year’s Carly
Matt Giraud, the dueling piano player

We Only Caught a Glance:
Allison Iraheta, bellowed “Natural Woman”
Ashley Hollister, sang “Baby It’s You”
Felicia Barton, sang “Put Your Records On” very well
Jarrett Burns, did “Put Your Records On” over-the-top
John Twiford, we saw a snippet of “Overjoyed”
Kendall Beard, retro-looking blonde, sang a country song
Kenny Hoffpauer, the cute teen boy who sang “I’m Yours”
Kris Allen, did Elliott Yamin’s song
Raquel Houghton, sang “Son of a Preacher Man”
Ryan Johnson, pre-makeover David Cook
Shera Lawrence, baby-faced gal

Cannon Fodder:
India Morrison, the rapping sister (Asia did not make it)
Jamar Rogers, theatrical kewpie doll
J.B. Ahfua, did okay on the Ruben song
Joshua Ulloa, Justin Guarini look-a-like
Melinda Camile, “dancing naked”
Michael Castro, Jason’s little brother
Patricia Roman, Puerto Rico’s answer to Whitney Houston
T.K. Hash, sang “Imagine” with runs

Waste of Golden Tickets:
Brianna Quijada, great personality, not great singer
Dennis Brigham, the guy who dreamed about Simon
Katrina Darrell, bikini girl
Norman the Clown, the stupid wannabe comic
Tatiana del Toro, the one with the crazy laugh

Well, that’s it. Or actually, I should say That’s it??? I really don’t see a Kelly or Cook here…

Nigel! Please come back, we need you!