Review of Season 7

Audition montage massacres:
“I Love Rock and Roll”
“Since U Been Gone”
“Before He Cheats”
“Glamorous”

Completely whacked:
Glitter Girl is going into “actressing”
“No Sex Allowed” by Milo
Star Wars man-kini waxer
The Man from Mars
Eva busts her @$$

Kinda whacked:
Bruce who has never been kissed
“My husband is America’s next top model”
The obsessed auditioner
Creepy rhyming Paula stalker
The dude with the “accoutrements”

Father’s day:
London’s dad would be so proud
Celine Dion sound-alike is reunited with dad
Syesha’s dad overcomes drug addiction
Asiah’s dad’s fatal car crash

Year of the newborn:
A gal goes into labor while at the Dallas audition
Auditioner rushes wife to hospital to give birth

Reject quotes of the year:
Alexis: “If I could legally moon ya, I would!”
Jeffery: “Simon, I have my dog tags on for you. Because you have that military presence. But I love you.”
Ashley: “Is today opposite day?”

Should have made it to the Top 24:
“Theatrical” Cardin
Josiah the homeless kid (My Kid made me add that one)

Pia the back-up singer

Already on record:
Brooke – Songs from the Attic
Carly – Ultimate High
David C. – Analog Heart
Kristy – Devoted
Robbie – Boyz N Girlz United

Reality show pros:
Amy – Nashville Star
David A. and Alexandrea – Star Search
Jason – Cheyenne
Joanne – Mo'Nique's FAT Chance
Syesha – The One

Talents elsewhere:
Actress/model Syesha
Cage-fighter Kristy
Impressionist Kady
Nurse Amanda
Tennis ace Michael

Funny and they didn’t even mean to be:
Youka sings Mr. The Bee Gees
Crazy Princess Leia
“It’s Dee ANNA”
Bro/sis duo Jeffery & Michelle
“I’m Amy Catherine. Amy, Amy Catherine, AC. Whatev.”
“Happiness exploding everywhere”
Leo wants to be homecoming queen
Corliss and Brittany, SBF BFF!
The girl from American Juniors
“I need my voice to be more maturing”
Simon’s “moose” hand signal

Interesting back stories:
Kristy Lee sells a horse
Kyle wants to be mayor
Farmer Drew is sexy (not his tractor)
Little David’s vocal paralysis
The Air Force lady
Boy bander Robbie dated Britney Spears
Hernandez and his “cabaret” days

Carly’s 2nd chance

Ewwwww moments:
The Ryan “sandwich”
AI message board kissing couple
Ghaleb smooches random strangers
Yucky green bean juice
Ryan rubs Eze’s sweaty head
Bees buzz around the dreads

Gr. Oss.:
Nail clip collector of yuck
Hurley twirls a Barbie
Carly’s hubby (tats on face are dumb)
Rosie/Ozzie wrestler punches Ryan
The belching meat handler
Boy twins, a slut and her little dog, too

Good changes:
Contestants can play instruments
No guest judges in audition cities
No group songs during Hollywood week
Updates on past AI contestants

Bad changes:
The mosh pit of swaybots
One hour results episodes
Viewers call in questions

Status quo:
Too much time given to contestants who did not make it
Some of the top 24 did not get previous air time at all
Interchangeable blonde girls
Elimination night swan song
Product placement pimpage
Simon’s clothes are boring

Almost everybody had:
Neck hankie, scarf or pashmina
Purple, red or blue tongue
That darn flu bug
80’s leggings

Contestants that grew on me:
Alaina
Chikezie
David C.
Syesha

Early faves that pooped quickly:
Robbie
Kady
Amanda

Smart alecks:
David C.
Alexandrea
Chikezie
Kady
Amanda

Borderline basket cases:
Ramiele
Carly
Brooke

Clumsiest group performers:
Amanda
David A.

Jason

Dressed to impress:
Syesha
Ryan

Lyric blowers:
David A.
Brooke
Jason

Not on the Top 10 list of baby names:
Asia’h
Chikezie
Ramiele
Syesha

In need of a Twinkie:
Danny
Alexandrea
Brooke

Shocking eliminations:
Alaina
Michael
Carly

Boldest predictions (about David Cook):
Simon: “If this show remains a talent competition rather than a popularity competition, you actually could win this entire show.”

Randy: “... that joint you just did - you might be the one to win the whole lot!”
Paula: “I feel like I’m already looking at the American Idol.”

Quotes from the Top 24:
Alaina: “I think Carrie Underwood looks like ME.”

Brooke: “I dare you.”
Garrett: “Go tanning?”
Amanda: “Yeah, sorry for pulling out in front of you dude, like seriously; I didn’t mean to.”
David H.: “Thank you God! I didn’t mean you, Simon.”
Danny: “ISH.”
Chikezie: “I love my suit … I can’t wear it again, I already wore it on TV! You can’t wear it twice … only you do that…”
Alexandrea: “You were supposed to bring her to California, freak!”
Amanda: “Ballads are boring!”
Kristy: “I can blow you out of your socks and you know it.”
Amanda: “I’ll tease it up really high and throw some black eyeliner on it.”
Michael: “I gave a Susan Lucci kind of performance.”
Jason: “I didn’t know a CAT was singing it.”
David C.: “I figured what could be more unpredictable than doing the song as it was written.”

Wonderfully imitated:
Incubus
Doxology
Whitesnake
Chris Cornell

Unique interpretations:
“Love is a Battlefield” – Brooke

“She’s a Woman” – Chikezie
“Here You Come Again” – Carly
“It’s All Wrong But It’s All Right” – Michael

Pop songs that got turned into stalker anthems:
“Hello”
“Always Be My Baby”

Random adorableness:
Asia’h overcomes adversity
Ramiele’s voice goes bye-bye
David A. is a giggle box
Brooke’s a beauty school dropout
Jason attempting foreign languages
David C.’s comic book baby head
Dolly Parton does “Jesus & Gravity”

Cheapest elimination tricks:
The “punk’d” way that Michael was told he was leaving
David A. asked to choose between two groups

Visual aids:
Animal balloons
American Idol crop circles
Amy’s cleavage (My Hubby told me to add that one)
Kristy’s sticky note
“AC”

Cutest duos:
Alexandrea’s great granny and Ryan
Ramiele and Danny, BFs 4-ever!
Jordin & Chris Brown
The Davids in the final two
Michael and Carly on finale duet

So bad they’re good:
“I am your brother, your best friend forever”
Kristy countrifies The Beatles

Ryan tries to sing and dance

Drama queens:
Syesha loses her voice in Hollywood
Pitiful Josiah
Danny’s everything
ALW to David A.: “please open your eyes”

Heartwarming moments:
Simon is sweet to Tempest Brown
Wedding band singer Angela and her daughter Jessica
The inspirational car wreck lady
“My poppy is the next American Idol”
Amanda survives a car crash
Brooke’s twin girls miss their nanny
Carly’s “broken birds”
Adam Cook in the audience during Top 7 week
David A.’s “oh gosh” moments in Murray
Syesha’s limousine tears
David C. gives flowers to his music teacher
Cook family onstage with winner David C.

Too much of a good thing:
iTunes
Ford
Coke
Miley Cyrus
SYTYCD troupe

Humorously costumed:
Jim Carrey as Horton
Fantasia as Bozo the Clown

Fashion disasters:
Everything that Ramiele wore
Chikezie’s orange suit
60s elimination night outfits (the gals)
Amanda’s Beetlejuice pants and Cruella hair
Alexandrea’s “going camping” outfits
Asiah’s 80s night outfit
Kristy’s shredded jeans
Carly’s “mom” hairdo

American Idol clip shown on The Soup a thousand times:
Danny: “Some people weren’t liking it!”

Over used phrases:
100 million percent yes!
This is the best crop of contestants ever
Current and relevant
We’re gonna (fill in the blank) like there’s no tomorrow
In the pocket
Word nerd
Mad at’cha
Sing the phone book

Seacrest’s best:
“I’ve kissed a girl today.”
“You can only vote for him, you actually can’t adopt him.”
“He’s thirsty and he has to pee.”
“I say load in the mud, I’m ready.”
“By the way Rickey, you’re conducting; you’re not a member of the Pussycat Dolls tonight.”
“We’re running out of time, Hell’s Kitchen’s gonna start!”
“Paula’s on her feet! Spinning her finger around in the air like she just don’t care.”

Randy-isms:
“You need to SLAY it!”
“Cooliosis”
“Stellar”
“In the zone”
“Your wheelhouse”
“Took on the biggest tiger of the night”
“It was crazy!”
“Like being at a luau”
“The duel of 2007”

Abdul fashions of whack:
George of the Jungle outfit
Bustier that swallowed Hollywood
Pinocchio’s pimp hat
Pussycat Dolls castoff
Flower-in-neck ensemble

Ms. Abdul making sense:
“Women like smart men.”
“Michael, you're a star - a rock star, a blues star ... and you look gorgeous.”

Paulagate:
Wigged out in Omaha
“Two words – phe nomenal”
Who let the Chihuahuas out?
The Jason Castro disaster

Simon’s best analogies:
“You would only sound like Mariah Carey if her CD was left out in the sun for a year.”
“It’s like when your mum gets drunk and starts dancing and you’re like ... Oh God stop.”

“I bought my first puppy to that song.”
“A little bit rabbit in the headlights.”
“It’s like the Oscars; it’s never ending with the speeches when we need the Oscar music… duh duh duh duh duh.”
“It was all a little bit student-in-a-bedroom-at midnight.”
“You sounded like Dolly Parton on helium.”
“Where you're lucky is this is a TV show and not a radio show, because your face sold that.”
“That was the equivalent of busking outside the subway station.”
“Like a pleasant walk in the park.”
“It was a bit like ordering a hamburger and only getting the bun.”
“Like coming out of karaoke hell into a breath of fresh air.”
“Like a Chihuahua trying to be a tiger.”
“You came out here tonight to win, and what we’ve witnessed is a knockout.”

Meanest of Simon:
How do I call David C. smug? Let me count the ways…
The attack of Carly’s stylists

Judge banter:
Simon: “We need to check in this cup!”
Paula: “Is it legal to strangle a Brit?”

Simon: “I was ten-years-old and it was Pauler Abdul’s Straight Up.”
Paula: “The day I’m your sister is the day I leave this planet.”

Most annoying:
Jumper movie tie in
Syesha’s baby cry and fake drawl
David A.’s lip-licking
Kristy’s wide stance
Brooke’s babbling

Dumbest controversies:
Carly already knew Randy prior to AI
David C.’s “cover of covers”
Group song “Shout to the Lord”

Seriously? WTH moments:
Ryan and Paula trade places
“Come back and do a Dolly Parton song”
Ryan won’t sweep the floor

The wrong Colton makes it to the top 24
Stage Dad-chuleta rumors
Simon apologizes to David C.

Sacrificed for the show:
Brooke misses her sister’s wedding
David A. misses his prom

News of the weird:
Ryan’s airbrushed Details magazine cover
Carly’s preggers? (no!)

Saddest news:
Top 24 finalist Luke was diagnosed with Stage II Hodgkin’s Lymphoma

Highlights of Idol Gives Back:
Bono and the children
Heart! (despite Fergie)
Annie Lennox cries
Carrie sings “Praying for Time”
DAUGHTRY

Favorite past Idols come to visit:
Jordin Sparks
Elliott Yamin
Bo Bice

Great musical guests:
The Clark Brothers
Maroon 5 (Kid & Hubby’s fave)
ZZ Top

Exit songs:
“Best Days”
“Hollywood is Not America”
“Celebrate Me Home”

We learned more than we ever needed to know about:
Guyliner
Text talk

Russian Idol
Song re-starts
Dancing penguins
Boxing analogies
The Love Guru

Finale funnies:
Ryan takes a magic carpet ride almost off the stage.
Jimmy Kimmel: “I have to wonder what your parents, Rosemary and Satan Cowell, think when they see their little boy saying such awful things to people.”

Best Ever Makeover:
David C. – from snarky grungy guy to alluring innovative winner (My Kid loves him both ways)

What a great season! Please feel free to add your favorite season seven moments in the Comments section, or email me at auntpearl42@gmail.com.

The Time of My Life

The first single from AI7 winner David Cook is available for download. It's called "The Time of My Life."

David Cook, Indie Rocker

The best thing to come out of the Omaha American Idol audition? David Roland Cook!

“Rocker David” is no stranger to the music business and has been performing for several years. From musical theater to college bands, David has been honing his skills to perfection. His critically acclaimed indie release Analog Heart is unfortunately no longer available for sale, but there are tracks available from his former band Axium.

From his AI home page:
Favorite Quote: "Pain don’t hurt." - Patrick Swayze in Roadhouse
Q: How do you plan on differentiating yourself in the competition?
A: I’m just going to be who I am. Will it work? Tune in to find out!
Q: What would people be surprised to learn about you?
A: I’m weird. People aren’t usually surprised by anything with me.
Q: What other talents do you have?
A: I am an expert television watcher. I can also sleep and eat like nobody’s business.

The season seven champion spoke about his run on American Idol in several interviews.

Cook was surprised to win, as he fully expected Archuleta to take the title. He says, “My hat’s off to Archie just for the whole scenario. He handled himself with a lot of grace and, more importantly, he’s just an amazing human being. I was just honored to share the stage with him.”

As far as the “Daughtry theory” that he would be better off not winning, Dave says, “I think going into this with the idea that you don’t want to win is a huge slap in the face to the 103,000 people who auditioned this season who really wanted to win. So I definitely went into this to try to win it.”

Earlier this season, Simon addressed David as arrogant, but at the end of his final performance on Tuesday, he told him that he was one of the nicest guys in the competition. David addresses this change of heart: “I just went into this as an opportunity to expose myself musically to a large audience. And so my confidence level never really wavered and maybe that’s what got misinterpreted as cocky or arrogant, but I think as the season went on, maybe he saw the work that I was putting in, not just on my own stuff, but really just to make it a positive working environment for everybody.” He also states that the vocal coaches encouraged him to “break down the wall” between himself and the audience.

About his fans: “I can’t believe the level of support that has come out of me doing this crazy TV show. All I can do is try to embrace it and make all the effort that these people are putting into supporting me worthwhile and that’s going to start with a record and hopefully moving down the road a tour and a lot of success. The sky’s the limit right now.”

In regards to what we can expect from a David Cook album: “I think it’s going to be a mixture of my writing and hopefully writing with some other people. The bottom line is I just want to come out of the gate with a solid record, so if I can do that I’ll be happy. The ideal release is ‘as soon as possible,’ if you ask me, but obviously these things take time. As far as the type of record? It will probably be a rock record, but I think that’s a pretty vague generalization. I just want to make a record that’s gonna make the hair on the back of your neck stand up.” He also adds, “I want this record to have some twists and turns in it. I want people to feel like they got taken on a trip from beginning to end. I’ve got my work cut out for me, but it should be a lot of fun.”

He talks about his public persona as being confident and mature: “Maturity? You guys don’t see me when the cameras are off. I’m a goof and a nerd. The confidence comes in knowing what I can do and what I can’t, what works for me and what doesn’t. I never tried to fake it. It’s been a process, but my family and my friends have kept me really grounded, and that’s probably where it comes from.”

David talks about his brother Andrew: “He has been my No. 1 supporter from day one. He really wanted me to audition with him, and I was just hesitant - not for any negative stigma associated with the show. I didn’t really see this as my path for whatever reason. Standing in line ... a producer comes by and interviews my brother and then turns to me. I said, ‘I’m not auditioning’ and he’s like, ‘Well you are now.’ Life has a weird way of working itself out sometimes.”

As reported in previous interviews, David’s older brother Adam has brain cancer. David has never mentioned his brother on the show but was obviously touched by his presence when he was able to see him perform during top seven week.

Additionally, the orange wrist band that David proudly wore throughout the competition was in honor of cancer stricken Lindsey Rose Belcher, a seven-year-old from Tampa.

For the past five months David has endured everything from copycat accusations to high blood pressure to being called the “dark horse” in the competition. He has progressed from an auburn-haired “emo” artist in a sweater vest, to a confident fashionable bona fide star.

To sum it all up in a nutshell, David Cook says, “I’ve been holding my breath for four months. Tonight was just about exhaling and enjoying what this show is and what it isn’t…It’s crazy how things turn out.”

Keeping in touch... David’s myspace.

Check out David’s Guitar Hero commercial. Risky Business indeed! :-)