2/28/06Right away, Ryan is braggin’ on AI being #1. Yay. The gals come out, in reverse order from last week which means I have to wait forever for Mandisa. Stupid banter ensues. The prerequisite video highlights are about each individual's AI experience so far.
In order of appearance …
Katharine – clips of Kat & Kellie being girlfrien’s. Make me yak. Then she sings an old Stevie Wonder song, yawwwwn. Think: Torch singer in a lounge. Wait, I take that back because her mom is in the audience and looks so mean. *Shiver.* Judges say… “just okay for me,” “brilliant,” “can’t be in your own world, not your best night by a mile.” Kat’s pretty and polished, though.
Kinnik – clips of her talking being on the AI stage. She looks great even with a glittery doo-rag on her head. Then she sang “Here for the Party” and ugh. I ain’t buying it. To hear this elegant, classy lady sing “gonna have some fun, gonna get me some” is just sacrilege. Judges say… “enjoyed entertainment part,” “need to choose songs that show amazing range,” “theme park performance.” It's beautiful Kinnik with a scary song.
Lisa – clips of her talking about being in The Lion King musical when she was 10, which explains a lot. She sings an old Jackson 5 song from like a thousand years ago. Great voice but borrrrrrrrring. I am actually looking at the clock. She looks cute and is dressed like an actual teenager this week. Judges say… “was just awright,” “when ya got it ya got it,” “you will sail through tonight, guaranteed.” Lisa is lovely and charming but I am still thinking “Stepford.”
Melissa – clips of her talking about clothes and being a Florida girl and wearing flip flops. Kinda cute but her speaking voice sounds like someone with a 3 pack a day Marlboro habit. She does a Reba song, and is actually pretty good. She’s dressed like a hoochie mama, but I only say that because I’m jealous. Judges say… “perfect song choice,” “that was hot,” “you're coming out of your shell,” “don’t believe you are making a connection with the audience.” Melissa articulately defends her song choice.
Heather – clips of her sightseeing in Ho’wood and wrapping a boa around her neck. As in snake. Yeah. She sings “Hero” by Mariah Carey. I loathe Mariah so I can’t get into it at all. Heather gives her own self a “wooo” which is kinda egotistical methinks. Judges say… “good job, not great,” “pales in comparison,” “kind of like a ghastly pageant.” Heather is seething and disappointed. She is gorgeous and knows it, so I don’t feel sorry for her one bit.
Brenna – clips of her talking about being on the red carpet. I am actually finding her less annoying than Hooters Heather, because at least Brenna is funny. And thankfully she at least looks good while slowly maiming “Last Dance.” Judges say… “don’t see that magic happening from you,” “attitude/vocals weren’t there,” “like someone in a bar murdering a Donna Summer song.” Hopefully Brenna can get cast in a UPN comedy or something, because this is the end of the road for her on AI5.
Paris – clips of her talking about her fashion sense and how she likes to change it up. I liked the way she pointed up and said “I have favor” even though it totally went over Ryan’s head. It is weird, the Paris on the video and the one on stage are like two totally different girls. She goes from fun-lovin' teen to 50-year-old woman. She sings “Wind Beneath My Wings” very well but again, yawwwwn. Judges say… “amazing performer,” “you need to celebrate the fun and youth,” “you're like a young Lauren Hill,” “like a little old lady tonight.” Paris is adorable when she admits that this song is her great grandmother’s favorite.
Ayla – clips of her talking about being a tomboy and not knowing what foundation was until she started on AI5. Whatever. She sings a Celine Dion song, who is in the same league as Mariah, so I can not get into it. It’s okay, not as good as last week. Judges say… “it's great to see how you are growing,” “came off as nice kinda package,” “whatever you put your mind to, you’re going to get an A,” “still a little mechanical.” Ayla giggles with Ryan but still has the “you stink” expression. For some reason, I like her in spite of this.
Kellie – clips of her talking about different food she’s tried since she got to Cal-e-forn-yay. Being too adorable, especially when talking about doggy clothes. I remind myself to like her because she’s from NC. She sings a Bonnie Raitt song and does a really cheesy head shake in the middle that gives me a headache. Judges say… “adorable, unpretentious,” “we got a hot one,” “cool girl,” “can not help but like you,” “rough around the edges.” Kellie jokes about not being able to dance but then goes on and on and on for a million years and ends up a walking blonde joke.
Mandisa – clips of my girl talking about playing the “dogjaw” joke on Ryan. Just when I think I can’t love her anymore than I already do! She sings a Faith Hill song because she said she wanted to “represent” Nashville. She is so wonderful and so good. I wonder how it’s possible to love someone that I have never met except through my TV. Judges say… “one of a kind,” “unbelievable vocal range,” “taking risks in the right direction,” “song choice I wasn’t thrilled with,” “look is cabaret, old fashioned,” “when you’re on it, I don’t think there is a better female singer in this competition.” Mandisa is so classy and so funny, a good combination of things to be.
General observations…
Catty Comment of the night: Simon to Paula, “Shut up Pauler, you annoy me. It’s like being with some precocious child.”
Diva Award goes to Paula for switching seats after Simon ticks her off.
My predictions to exit – Brenna and Heather.
3/1/06
First up, a recap of the gals last night, just to fill time. Ryan and the judges banter, making us wonder... scripted or ad lib? Who cares, because here come the guys!
In order by appearance...
Taylor – clips of him talking about his gray hair and getting noticed. He sings “Easy” and does well, but it reminds me of my high school prom. Way too many “whoos” for absolutely no reason at all. Hmmm, he kinda loves himself. Judges say… “you’re an old throwback,” “love your enthusiasm,” “you’re one of my favorites,” “you have to take yourself out of the bubble.” Taylor’s adorableness is still there, but I think he is buying into his own hype too much.
Elliott – clips of him talking about his mom and he is so nice and genuine. He sings a song I have never heard and it really should be a boring song … but it is one of the best performances I have ever seen, ever. Incredible is what he is; he does not miss a single note…perfection. Judges say… “natural amazing gift,” “brilliant baby brilliant,” “don’t know what you are going to do to top that,” “you’ve grown in confidence.” Awesome Elliott even got a standing ovation from Randy. Way to go!
Ace – clips of him talking about his beanies (where I come from, we call them tobaggans.) Awwww. Okaaay. It is not fair how gorgeous he looks wearing his beanie. Unfortunately, whatever this song is that he is singing, it is causing pain in my ears. My dogs are looking at the TV funny. Ugh. Judges say… “glad you hit the whole fals’ thing,” “another good week for you,” “you will be disappointed when you hear that vocal back later tonight.” Ace’s prettiness is still like “Oh My,” but he is believing his own hype like some of the others. Cutesy-pie moment when he throws his beanie and Brenna catches it.
Gedeon – clips of him talking about the Ho’wood round and messing up the lyrics. He is adorable tonight and sings this old blues song very well. This is definitely his niche; I can disregard how arrogant he was in the beginning. Judges say… “ended it amazing,” “unique, smart,” “you are a funny little thing,” “like someone Barry Gordy would have gotten ahold of 30 years ago.” Gedeon sweetly says “God bless you” to each of the judges. Cool, cool kid.
Kevin – clips of him talking about suddenly being a hot stud and sex symbol. Okaaay. Surely he’s not serious ... is he? He does not wow me with “I Heard it Through the Grapevine” a.k.a. The dancing California Raisin song. Judges say… “good job,” “infectious,” “you’re having a blast,” “if I heard that on the radio, I’d turn it off.” Kevin is a trooper, even when he is compared to Chicken Little. Ryan says Paris coined it; gee thanks Paris (that was my sarcastic voice.)
Sway – clips of him talking about having his parents together watching him perform. It is very touching and he seems very serious tonight. On stage, however he messes up on a Stevie Wonder song really really bad. Judges say… “not as good as last week,” “you got skills,” “you are a little disconnected,” “not in the zone,” “pure karaoke.” Sway says he is having an off day. He still looks a little bit scary, even without the hat.
Will – clips of him talking about going to parties and meeting “celebs” like Justin from season one. He sings the old Kenny Rogers song “Lady” and it’s okay but just not believable coming from him. He needs his two brothers and three step-sisters on stage with him. (Wait, I was confused there for a sec.) Judges say… “basically awright,” “nice tone,” “too safe,” “like a Broadway audition for Cats,” “11-year-old girls will adore that.” Will looks cute but uncomfortable as Ryan tries to untuck his shirt. Very awkward moment ensues.
Bucky – clips of him being the male Kellie, talking about the weird food on the Left Coast. He is kinda goofy and embarrassing but the Yankees need their moments of confirmation that all southerners are like this. He redeems himself brilliantly with a Garth Brooks song. Much better than last week. Judges say… “great song choice,” “hit every note very nicely,” “you’re having fun,” “very sincere,” “you are what you are,” “you come over as the support act not the star.” Bucky makes cute with Ryan and endures the jiving about sweet tea. Good week for the NC boy.
David – clips of him using a cell phone charger cord as a belt during the first audition. He is cute in a prep school boy way. He proceeds to do a Sinatra standard; since I am not into this crooner stuff at all, I can’t relate. He sounds too old to be so young. Like what you see in a casino lounge on a cruise. Judges say… “you stayed in your zone,” “kinda bored,” “we’ve seen you perform better,” “to do this kind of song, you have to have charisma and confidence.” David looks pee-ohed and I don’t blame him since the same judges told him last week to get back into his comfort zone. Geez.
Chris – clips of him talking about his wife and stepkids. Yep, we are reminded that he is a happily married family man. Sigh. He is very intense as he sings a Fuel hit from a couple years ago. He is absolutely perfection with this song. My 13-year-old daughter is running through the house screaming; she loves him. Judges say… “loved it loved it loved it,” “you can be right on the charts with that right now,” “amazing,” “magic moment,” “this was the only performance that stands up in the real world.” YAY! Chris is smokin’ hot and cool at the same time.
General observations...
Catty comment of the night: Simon to Ryan, “We don’t have our lines written for us, Ryan.”
I predict that Sway and David will leave. I think the Chicken Little tidbit will keep Kevin safe tonight. Stay tuned…
3/2/06
“Buh Bye” Round 2
Ryan starts out braggin’ on ratings again. Heh. Whatever. TIIC hear ka-ching, ka-ching.
The group number is the old song “Love the One You’re With.” I don’t enjoy it as much as last week’s number, but it’s okay. There are definitely some better dancers than others; Bucky and Kellie have no sense of rhythm. Elliott is surprisingly groovy and of course Taylor is jamming.
It’s so obvious that during these first rounds, the contestants dress themselves and do their own hair and makeup. The AI stylists would never allow the camo pants, bike shorts, and crimped hair. Ick. Kat is the only one who is dressed up; I wonder if this chick has ever owned a pair of Levis?
Recap time - Ace and Heather sound even worse than I remember; Will is good; there's Kellie with the head shake; Brenna being annoying (so obvious she's outta here); Kat being lovely but boring; Sway being awful and scary-looking; Bucky and Melissa being surprisingly good; Harry, I mean David, doing the crooner yawn; Ayla and Elliott being superb; Paris, Gedeon, Lisa and Kevin doing songs older than their moms; Mandisa and Chris being the best I have ever seen on the show so far, bar none.
I wanted Bo to win last year, but I still believe that Carrie Underwood is the most beautiful creature that God ever made. She sings her hit song, “Jesus Take the Wheel.” What I love most about her is that she is the same as she was when we first saw her in the auditions. Okay except that she has developed a bit more of a sparkle.
Next is dim the lights, someone is leaving, such drama. Bottom three… Kinnik, Brenna, Heather. No shockers. Buh bye to Brenna… I am going to go make popcorn while she howls her good-bye song. Ironic how her opening line is “Cuz when I’m bad, I'm oh so bad.”
Heather is next to go, but that’s okay, Hooters has a job opening just for her. She says she is going home to her goats. Okaaaay. She is very, very gorgeous but knows it, knows it, knows it. My doggies don't want to hear her sing, they want to go out now, so we miss her exit Mariah song.
Guys now… Sway, David, Kevin are the bottom three. David is the first one to go which is no surprise. He is happy to go home and party ah er, I mean hang out with his friends, so hmmmp. I go sort laundry during his exit song but get back in time to see the girls gather around him. Awwww.
Next to go is Sway. No way! Way. Bye Sway. Wow, just noticed that he is shorter than Ryan and not very articulate. I can not endure another exit song, it is cruel to the contestants and us viewers. Thank goodness for the mute button.
No surprise eliminations tonight.
General observations…
Paula acted like a COMPLETE idiot tonight. I am so disappointed and feel ashamed to be a fan. What really ticks me off is how Ryan tried to deflect some of the blame towards Simon and he was not to blame. Paula acted like a freakin' drunk and treated the kids with NO respect.
Between Paula's antics and the exit songs, I felt physically sick when the show ended. I am so over this cheesy show!!! Well, until next time...
No comments:
Post a Comment