American Idol from Miami

January 30, 2008

It’s flashback time to 80s icons Crockett and Tubbs as the theme to Miami Vice plays to panoramic views of Miami, Florida. They even have the AI logo done up in pink & green.

Cool-in-Shades Ryan introduces us to the crazillions of people who showed up and waited in the heat. Then we are treated to sounds of Gloria Esfefan and sights of hopeful contestants.

In the audition room, Simon ogles Paula in her micro-mini George of the Jungle dress. He really should be checking out Randy’s shiny hot red shoes; they are da bomb.

First up is a pretty brunette gal named Shannon who tells us all about her life as a meat handler in her parents’ store. Obviously she is not eating any of it because she appears extremely nutrition deprived. In an extremely foul segment she demonstrates loudly how great she can belch. (They need to introduce her to nail-collecting guy.) She looks like Rachel Leigh Cook dressed for an 80s party. Unfortunately she can not sing any better than she can dress, but at least it’s good PR for her dad’s meat market. Much drama and senile denial (senial?) ensues.

Ryan reminds us that a couple of very famous boy bands came from Florida. And next we have a boy-band guy named Robbie who is in disguise as a rocker dude. He is relatively cute with the sexy long hair/beard/beanie combo and does a good version of “Simple Man” by the great Lynyrd Skynyrd. It’s cute how his fan club bombards him with silly string when he comes out with his golden ticket.

Next they show us bikini clad beach bods, then blink and it’s some thumbs-down losers with pan flutes, potty mouths and bad attitudes.

Then we are introduced to a Latin luvah named Ghaleb who looks like Antonio Banderas with a ‘fro. He is quite attractive and I want to like his singing because he seems like such a pleasant guy. The judges struggle to like him also, and semi-reluctantly put him through. Even though she tells him to tone the accent down a little bit, Paula gets a hug. “Ricky Ricardo” kisses his way down the hall and it is all kinda icky at this point.

Next we meet two big black ladies who are BFFs and they seem so genuine and so adorable that I fear they will be set up for embarrassment. (For some reason these two ladies were shown in the San Diego episode as well, and yes it is disturbing that I realize this tidbit of info.) They go into the audition room together and after much teasing about how much they love Ryan, they finally get to sing. Corliss goes first and does the “Take Five” song, singing to Randy. She is awesome! Now it’s Brittany’s turn and she is even better; she performs a flawless version of “My Guy.” The judges pronounce their undying love and affection, both gals make it through and then it’s hugs all around. THIS is why I love this show! Very much happiness ensues.

A very pretty gal with pinned-on Shirley Temple curls is up next and we can tell right away that she is the Sob Story of the evening. She is a single mom of a pretty little girl and wants to give her a better life. Her name is Suzanne and she does a decent version of “I Can’t Make You Love Me.” Paula says that she has a sexy voice and Simon agrees; Randy adds sultry to that and she is voted through to Hollywood.

We are reminded of Jasmine Trias and the great success that she has made of her career… in the Phillipines. Because we are now introduced to the cutest AI contestant ever, a tiny gal named Ramiele, also from that nation. She sings “Natural Woman” and she is wonderful; great voice and presence and My Kid loves her Goth fingernails. Simon likens her to a hotel singer but the other two think he’s a horse’s butt. They vote her through to the next round and it’s hard to tell who is more adorable, Ramiele or her dad.

Miami is a beautiful place with equal parts freaky-looking and good-looking people. On Day Two, the judges dress to match the bright hues of the city. (Well two out of three judges do anyway.)

Next we have Sob Story #2 and it’s My Bad Dad The Sequel. Reminiscent of last night’s show, a cute gal tries to get her father’s approval. This young lady’s name is Syesha and she is beautiful but you can tell she kinda knows it. She sings an incredible version of “Freedom” and yeah she knows she’s a great singer as well. Not a lot of humility there but confidence is a good thing too, I suppose. She makes it through to the delight of her awaiting posse.

Voiceover Ryan says that “the girls are on a roll” and we get to see snippets of auditions from a lady who sings “At Last” and a Flashdance-inspired gal who performs a Rihanna song.

Even though we see a couple guys run out of the audition room with glee, we only get to hear the bad ones. The lion/skunk guy was way too much and Simon tells one guy to come back in a dress.

A tone deaf girl is next, and then it’s a very brooding guy who does a nasally “Broken Road.” Randy tries to explain how singing through your nose is bad, but the guy ain’t having none of it.

Finally we get to meet a “seasoned professional.” Her name is Julie, and a few years ago she was on a spin-off show called American Juniors. Even though Ryan was also the host of that show, he does not remember her; she is all growed up now. Julie is a more extreme version of Regina George’s BFF Karen, the moronic one. (I expect her at any minute to say that she can predict the weather with her boobs.) At first the judges are all, wow you were on American Juniors. Then when she starts singing, we are all disappointed. While she’s not howling-dog bad, she can not accept that she is not good enough. They tell her that she would make a good actress and Simon calls her precocious. Disappointment reigns and everyone is all uncomfortable now. “Overindulged” is an understatement, Simon.

Finally we are on the last audition of the evening and I spot a train wreck. This guy is dressed in all-white a'la Blondie’s “Man from Mars” in the 1980 “Rapture” video. He seems completely annoying and manic. The judges dislike him right away, and I do not understand why the editors of this show waste so much time on this guy. He is horrible and the wackiness goes on forever. I go feed the dogs and hope to heavens that it is over by the time I get back.

Wish we could have seen some of the good ones that made it through to Hollywood, but alas that is why they are called producers and I am called a blogger.

Miami Favorites:
Best Guy Singer: Robbie
Best Gal Singer: Brittany
Best Sob Story: Suzanne

Quotes:
Paula (finger in ear, ignoring Simon): “La la la la la la la…”

Simon (holding Paula’s cup): “We need to check in this cup!”

Simon (to Randy): “Don’t do the what with the high tone to me!”

Simon (to a contestant): “Why did you have your finger in your ear throughout?”
Randy: “To stop the pain; to stop the pain!”

Rejected American Junior Julie: “Don’t audition for American Idol. Don’t watch the show.” (big fake smile.) Gawd, if they ever do Mean Girls 2, you are so IN.

Next week will be from Hot-lanta baby, yeah!

American Idol from Omaha

January 29, 2008

My Kid and I start the evening with a Xander & Anya quote from BTVS, season six:
Me: “Optimism. I remember optimism.”
Kid: “That’s because you’re like, a thousand.”
Ah, how we love our Buffy-isms.

We ARE optimistic because tonight’s auditions are from Omaha, the “Gateway to the West.” Voiceover Ryan says that Middle America is not usually where Idol has auditions. Hitting the heartland is something new and hopefully much fun will be had by all!

We see an American Idol crop circle and then shots of very excited people who are eager for their proverbial fifteen minutes. They play the “Omaha” Bowling for Soup song while Randy and Simon poke fun at all things CORN.

It seems that Paula’s (ahem) “plane was delayed” so it’s just the guys for now. To the amusement of Voiceover Ryan, Simon admires Randy’s “Purple Rain” glasses. (Which do not match his brown shirt at all by the way.)

First up is a spazzy but strangely adorable little girly-guy who entertains us with a line from Paula’s own “Cold Hearted Snake.” When he talks about “happiness exploding everywhere,” My Kid says ewww and I try not to LOL. Girly Guy brings gifts, a.k.a. “bribes” to the judges but doesn’t present them in a brown-nosy way. It gets a bit much though when the waterworks threaten and the bad singing begins. After way too much time-wasting, the judges agree to put a word in for him with the local FOX affiliate to get a side job as an AI reporter. In the words of Girly Guy, ARE YOU SERIOUS? Yep.

Next we see more happy pretty people, some weird costumes, and lots of aerial views of lush green grass. Still no Paula sighting though.

We get to meet an extremely gorgeous guy named Jason who is from Iowa. He works on his girlfriend’s dad’s farm. He tries to sing the Keith Whitley song that Alison Kraus did better, but he gets only one line out and then stalls. Simon and Randy are patient with him because he really does have a great voice. But they must hear more than one line and he finally, mercifully gets it right. Jason ekes in this time, but we don’t hold a lot of hope that he will make it through the grueling Hollywood process.

Paula finally shows up and for no apparent reason, she has a 70's hairdo tonight. And oh goody, she is just in time for a train-wreck mixture of Don’t Forget the Lyrics and Family Feud. Our Ms. Abdul does NOT look happy to be there this evening.

Now we get to see a cute blonde gal named Rachael who is arm wrestling everyone in sight, including Ryan. She wants a go at Simon but he politely declines. Wimp. Rachael sings a Lee Ann Womack song and sounds just as good as the next very whiney country singing diva. Randy tries to figure out the reason for the half-yodeling styling but Rachael says it’s all natural. They give her a chance and Barely Coherent Paula wants to arm wrestle the gal. Gawd.

Next we have an ex-professional wrestler who looks like the long lost love child of Rosie O and Ozzie O. She is a so-called “Goth bad guy” and somewhat insane. To no one’s surprise, she sings horribly and over-the-top. My Hubby likes the way that Randy mocks her Transylvanian laugh so I have to rewind the DVR over and over. Then we have a couple minutes of Ryan/Simon bickering which results in Ryan and Paula trading places for a bit.

A cute brunette gal named Samantha comes in and does “Don’t Know Why;” according to My Kid she sounds more like Fergie than Norah Jones. Ryan tries to critique her but Paula butts in and does some kind of drunken pantomime. It’s all very strange but thankfully our world is put back into kilter when Ryan and Paula go back to their proper places. Whew! Poor Samantha is probably wondering WTH she’s gotten into but they finally put her through to the next round.

Now we get to see a few more shots of good singers including one cute black girl that prompts My Kid to say “Oooh Fantasia! Didn’t she already win?” And some poor boy who looks like Tom Petty makes it through. Lots of jumping for joy and then one idge who says to the camera, “I am America’s next top model! Oh...”

The Hallmark movie moment of the evening is Angelica who is estranged from her dad, and her story goes on and on and on and suddenly we can’t hear anything except the violins. She sings a Celine Dion song and sounds so much like Celine that we expect to see the Titanic in the background. The judges coach her to please not be so mimicky in the future and give her a chance. Ryan calls her dad to tell him that his daughter is off to Hollywood. Who knew AI had Dr. Phil on the payroll?

Shouts of “hubba hubba” are heard all over my house when a quick shot of Daughtry’s latest vid comes up on the TV. This of course segues into the mostly bad rock star wannabes. Until finally we get a good one! David has the red dyed hair (a'la Gina) and is wearing a sweater vest from the Blake collection. He totally rocks it out on “Living on a Prayer,” provoking Simon to tell him that “other than being a little bit worthy that was good.” David did Bon Jovi proud and makes it through.

A Menudo reject is next, sporting a sparkling gold jacket and Moe haircut. Completely Wasted Paula emits a loud hiccup to Simon’s disgust. Menudo guy does a bad rendition of “Shout” and My Hubby says that this guy “sounds like he just got let out of a cab or something.” Heh. Simon proclaims that he’s everything he hates. And give Cher her jacket back.

The punishment portion of the show involves a creepy montage of “Stuck in the Middle With You.” “Clowns to the left and jokers to the right” indeed. Simon and Randy could say that about their female counterpart tonight. Perhaps The Powers That Be chose this song intentionally?

Only one person left in Omaha and his name is Leo; he looks like Pacey on Dawson's Creek. He hilariously explains that his mom always wanted a homecoming queen but hoped that it would be a girl. He does a not-as-good-as-Elliott version of “A Song for You.” He is charismatic, the judges love him, he makes it to Hollywood, and Paula jumps up and does a strange TOUCHDOWN cheer.

Quick flashes of more good ones that we did not get to see including one gal that looks like Nicole Richie. And then Omaha ends with a freaky guy screaming good-bye to the camera.

Up next is a new episode of House, FINALLY. (Stupid writers’ strike, hmph.)

Omaha’s Finest:
Best Guy Singer: Rocker David
Best Gal Singer: No stand-outs, probably Rachael
Best Back-story: None really but if forced at gunpoint to chose - Angelica

Quotes:
From the audition room, Randy and Simon can hear Jason’s girlfriend squeal when she sees his golden ticket.
Randy: “And there’s a squeak as he walks out the door.”
Simon: “He just stood on someone. He just stood on Ryan.”

Simon (singsong): “Paula… come to Simey…”

Ryan: (after getting “tapped” by the Goth wrestler): “Well that was FUN.”

Ryan: (in Paula’s seat): “How do I pretend to be overpaid for doing no work?”

About Leo –
Paula: “Good singer… I like him.”
Simon: “You want to take him home don’t you, like he’s a pet.”
Paula: “I do, yeah.”

Do these folks not realize that Dateline is watching??

‘Til tomorrow when it’s American Idol from Miami, Florida.

American Idol from Charleston

January 23, 2008

Ryan proclaims that Charleston is the “friendliest city” on the face of the earth. Since South Carolina is just one state under us, our family has ventured there from time to time. As a native southerner I can attest to the hospitability, however I am sure that The Idiots In Charge will show mostly the stuff that stereotypes are made of.

Quick shots of past Idol “look-alikes,” then the judges drag in slowly while Ryan (literally) runs late. We meet a contestant who has to leave the audition early because his wife has gone into labor. He decides not to pull a Phil Stacey and leaves to go be with her.

First up is Dwayne from What’s Happening, only he goes by Raysharde. He tells the judges that he sounds like Clay Aiken and does an over-the-top version of “I Can’t Make You Love Me.” Paula calls him “theatrical” which is code for “we are not going to put you through to the next round.”

Next is a gal from Albemarle named DeAnna, which of course flashes us back to the roller-skating waitress from that same town named Kellie Pickler. This gal is also a waitress and speaks “eloquently” about the “all you can eat” Sunday crowd that so gets on her nerves. (Simon never should have asked.) She does an angry version of “Fancy” and keeps losing her top in the process. Not surprisingly she does not make it through.

Because we are not quiet nauseous enough after the waitress tirade we are next subjected to a make-out session between a couple who met on the American Idol message board. I KNEW that was a dangerous place! Since being separated would be way too heartbreaking, they try out together. Oh what a shock - they are totally awful. “Complete torture” as Simon says. The judges congratulate them on “the love” and tell them to go get a room.

Next is another boy/girl team, this time a brother/sister duo, Jeffery and Michelle. The brother is hilarious, wearing a necktie for a head band. Just when we get strapped in for a train wreck, they blow it out da box! Together they do an impressive duo of R. Kelly and Celine Dion’s “I Am Your Angel.” After much tension they both make it through. In a rare sweet moment Simon says he can not split them up. Much happiness ensues!

They show us scenic Charleston as Voiceover Ryan says that they are having little success at finding any real talent. We see the Not-Phil-Stacey dad take his cute wife to the hospital.

Just to prove that The Powers That Run The Show really do hate our guts, they show a painful montage of bad singers butchering the Carrie Underwood song about keying some guy’s car. Posers from Cher to Bret Michaels to Elvis to Forrest Gump to Howdy Doody to Bozo the Clown try this song to no avail.

Next is an extremely All That Teenage Captain of the Dance Team who talks about how everyone respects her because she is just the awesomest. If you roll every teenaged character that Reese Witherspoon ever played into one girl, you get this one. Her name is Amy and she gives lectures about abstaining from everything from sex to chocolate. I think this little girl has good intentions, but bless her heart she is so smug that she doesn’t realize Simon is sooo mocking her. (Funny how she “preaches” about abstinence while wearing a skimpy mini-dress.) She sings an okay version of “Reflection;” Paula loves her but Simon thinks she is annoying and tells her so. They put her through to Hollywood and tell her to give Ryan “the speech.”

The judges are tired and don’t even care anymore. Meanwhile we see that the expectant parents have made it to the hospital.

Finally we get the LMN moment of the evening. London is a gorgeous blonde lady who put her music career on hold when her dad was diagnosed with cancer. Now that he has passed away, she wants to make him proud. She does a Billie Holliday song and has a beautiful voice. The judges are not overly impressed but I think she is great and have my fingers crossed for her… and she makes it, yay! Weird how Randy says that he is going to put her through “based on just your vocals.” Ummm, and what else would you base it on, Mr. Jackson?? My Hubby ventures a guess but we won’t go there…

Ryan says that 15 other people made it through to the next round and we get to see too brief glimpses of some of those victories.

Day Two and its more sunshine from Charleston and southern accents galore. I feel right at home, as does Randy who says “the south is gonna rise again.” And Paula has been shopping at Hookers ‘R Us again, oh snap!

First up is a REAL woman; her name is Lyndsey and she is a pilot in the Air Force. She is a gorgeous young lady and they show her in uniform with her C17, and with her coworkers and talking about her dad. I have to wipe some tears away; these are the real heroes who deserve all the respect in the world. There are a few former military folks that I work with and they are every level of awesome that exists, especially the ladies. At the audition Lyndsey sings “Black Velvet” and it’s a bit shaky; she is nervous and quivery but not bad. We are so devastated when she doesn’t make it through to the next round.

While I am still PO’ed about the Air Force lady not making it, they introduce us to a big-boobied gal named Aretha. And yes she was named after that Aretha. She starts out okay on “I Have Nothing” but goes completely off-key towards the end. Simon makes fun of every single thing about her but she keeps insisting that she has a “beautiful and amazing” voice. Yes Aretha, so do I... Next!

Ergh, am still irritated and now we are subjected to a spaz who massacres the Dream Girls song. Then he gets all “oh no you di’nt!!” and makes with the playa hatin.’ Bored now.

After that it’s more bad singers who are sad and ticked and surprised and teary and immature.

The brand new dad, Oliver, gets a second chance and brings his newborn baby girl and wife to the audition. I am really expecting him to be incredible because they have invested so much time in his ordeal. But alas he is just so-so with a weird vibrato and does not make it through. Maybe he can sing to his new baby who mercifully has her eyes closed when her mom brings her in to “meet” the judges. Sweet though, how Paula says she wants to change her mind after seeing the baby.

Charleston ends with 23 total contestants making it through and we only got to see scant few minutes of those good ones.

Next week will be from Omaha. 'Til then, rock on Emma Grace!

Charleston Favorites:
Best Male Singer: Jeffery
Best Female Singer: London
Best Life Story: Lyndsey

Tonight’s Quotes:
Simon: "You’re a little tiger, aren’t you Deana?"
DeAnna: "DeAnna… That’s why I spell my name with a capital A, just to eliminate the whole Deana. It’s Dee Anna."

Jeffery: "Simon, I have my dog tags on for you. Because you have that military presence. But I love you."

Randy: "Hello; what’s your name?"
Amy: "I’m Amy Catherine. Amy, Amy Catherine, AC. Whatev."

Aretha: "… yeah they got baaad opinions on music, totally."

Joshua: "… this show is fake and rigged."
Simon: "What did you say?"
Joshua: "Faked and rigged! Because I can sing!"

(Yeah Joshua, so can a lot of people...)

American Idol from San Diego

January 22, 2008

Voiceover Ryan coaches two old dudes to look into the camera and say (with feeling): “Welcome to American Idol from San Diego!”

(Re: the opening credits - I just noticed that when the Cyborg Star takes his/her teletronic rise in the astro-elevator, that Taylor has been “ix-nayed from the oh-shay.” Hmmm. )

We get to see people romping and cycling on the beach, mermaid sandcastles, plus flashes of the 12,000 or so folks who came to the audition. Namedroppers who can sing okay, painful-looking body piercings, and one literal bird.

First up is a pretty but stuck-up-acting girl named Tetianna. She is okay but not great on the old song “Someone to Watch over Me.” Simon tells her that she is good but not great and she cops an even bigger attitude. She makes it through in spite of the Brenna-ness. When she leaves, Simon says “Ob. Noxious” but Paula rebuttals with “I love it.”

Next we meet a little girl who sweetly says to the camera, “My poppy is the next American Idol.” Whoops, we find out that in spite of the ponytail, it’s a little boy. My bad. Very endearing Sob Story of single father Perrie, who is a widower raising the child on his own. I am hoping that he is a good singer especially when he says that he wants his kid to have what he never had. (I am thinking a haircut but then I am very old that way.) Perrie sings a Boyz II Men song and he has a fabulous voice. Paula is smitten, as are the others and he makes it through. Adorable boy says, “My poppy is going to Hollywood,” and I have to go dry my eyes now.

Sunny San Diego sure looks nice, as it is 28 degrees here in NC. Once winter finally came to visit, it unpacked the suitcase, but I digress.

An extremely attractive Australian guy comes up next; his name is Michael Johns and this is a name to remember. (He bears an eerie resemblance to the late Heath Ledger.) He sings an Otis Redding song soulfully and looks good while doing it, yowsa. As Randy says “100 million percent yes.” Down Under Guy makes it through to Hollywood.

Next we are subjected to the punishment portion of the evening with some extremely bad and off-key laughable singers. Not too bright and probably planning to vote democratic. One lady looks like a cross between Charo and Shakira with a bit of Cowardly Lion thrown in for good measure.

The judges are crabby according to Ryan. Then he interviews a cute brunette gal who seems to be genuine about being compared to Mariah Carey, and they proceed to poke fun at all the very bad auditions. Then guess what, she proceeds to give a very bad audition. Simon says that the only comparison to Mariah is if her CD was left out in the sun for a year. Oh snap! Poor gal now realizes that she will be on the reject reel; crazy or crazy like a fox?

More weird costumes and even some miming going on. (As Oz said to Buffy in season 4 of BTVS, “NOBODY deserves mime.”) Gimmicks are so lame and Ryan reminds us that by now folks should know this already.

A guy and gal, both in the health care industry, go to the audition together. They both think they are good enough to make it. The nurse goes first and after Simon teases her about her outfit, she attempts a Whitney song. Has she never seen this show? Doing Whitney is pointless. She keeps going on and on then makes like the Terminator with “I’ll be back.” Her male friend is not much better on yet another Whitney song. And when he is told to stop he goes on and on and on like a hyperactive Energizer bunny. He insists that he is good and finally security has to show him out. Outside of the audition room, he and his nurse friend act like R-tards. Moral: Do not ever get sick in the San Diego area.

Next we have fan-boys and fan-girls that get a little overly gross. The Ryan sandwich was disturbing on EVERY level imaginable. A Simon-obsessed gal and her sister groupie themselves into the audition room and it’s oh so brown-nosy. One sister sits on Simon’s lap and is a guest judge for the one who is singing. However the sister that’s there for the audition totally nails it; she can sing wonderfully. She makes it through to the next round just in time for Simon’s lap to go numb.

Day Two in San Diego… Randy is wearing a cool tee shirt that says Black Rock and of course My Kid wants one of those now.

It is return of the obsessed auditioner as we are introduced again to a guy who has tried out in 10 cities over the past few years. They remind us that he was Statue of Liberty guy in season 5. His mom, the enabler, travels with him; it seems they both like to sleep on sidewalks a lot. Finally auditioning as himself, he does an okay version of “Stand by Me” but the judges are not wowed. Maybe next year or the next or until the magic age limit runs out. They make with the pity so hard that I expect Ty to show up any minute to give him a house.

Now we are forced to watch and listen to other folks with an "L" on their foreheads, as Rod Stewart sings “Never Give up on a Dream” in the background. Hope they paid him a lot of money to use that song.

A flaming guy is up next and I just can not watch this segment, sorry. So I will leave My Kid in charge while I go feed the dogs… Hi folks, I am Aunt Pearl's daughter and will take over for my mom as she is gayophobic, or whatever it is when really really really and I mean REALLY blazingly flamboyant guys are on tee vee. I think this guy is Native American which is really kewl cuz the guy I like in school is Native American. (Remember we don't say Indian, okay.) But OMG this dude twirls a Barbie, carries a big fan that actually says "big american idol fan," and sings really badly and that’s all we really need to know. Okay good, it’s over and my mom is back… whew that was close.

I am sure glad that I missed out on that drama! And now the judges and viewers alike are subjected to even more bad singers, most who will not ST-bleeding-H up.

Finally we get another Sob Story with a teen guy named David who shares with us the story of his vocal paralysis. My Kid gives me an “air high five” as he sings “Waiting for the World to Change.” He is really good and cute with a sweet smile but Randy’s back-up singing was not necessary. Paula says she wants to squoosh him, so RUN David RUN, but he makes it through to Hollywood.

Only one contestant left, an Irish lass named Carly whose heavily and yuckily tattooed hubby is with her. Two words: “Gr. Oss.” She talks about her audition in Vegas a couple years ago and how she made it to Hollywood but was disqualified because of visa issues. Tonight Carly and her heavily tattooed arm get a second chance. She bears a vague resemblance to Amy Lee and has a decent rock star/R&B voice on a strange version of “I'm Every Woman.” She seems startled when Simon says that she was better two years ago. Paula and Randy disagree and thinks she’s brilliant; she makes it through to Hollywood again.

We see very quick flashes of several others that made it through to Hollywood. Would have been nice to actually hear a few of those winners but alas only an hour long show tonight.

Tomorrow night’s auditions will be from South Carolina, where inevitably there will be lots of southerners making us all look like a buncha redneck grits-eating gun-toting idiots.

House rerun is up next, appropriately enough about a washed-up rock star.

Quote of the evening:
Ryan (looking through the camera at Simon): “Now I just need to see if The Ego is camera ready.”

San Diego’s best:
Best male singer: Michael the Australian guy
Best female singer: Tattooed Carly
Best back-story: Perrie and his little boy

Chatter from the ‘net… the teen boy (David) with vocal trouble won Star Search when he was 12. The Irish gal Carly, actually already recorded an album a few years ago that was a flop. (Weird how on tonight’s show she cried like this was her first and only chance.) Lastly, the handsome Australian guy (Michael) is in a band already called The Rising. After seeing his video on youtube all I can say is Constantine The Sequel. Bummer.

I guess I will have to keep getting my eye-candy from Sawyer on Lost.

American Idol From Dallas

January 16, 2008

Our premiere event continues tonight as AI plays the theme from Dallas and makes with the bragging rights of how they discovered Kelly Clarkson way back when.

It seems that KC may have turned her back on Clive and the crew, but they sure are dropping her name tonight. Speaking of dropping, folks are falling out like flies from the heat. One gal goes into freakin’ labor which makes me wonder just how long was she waiting around to audition?

First up is a former meth head named Jessica who has turned her life around. My Kid goes on a self-righteous rant about how she doesn’t feel sorry for drug addicts and points out that blaming the drug for the addiction is like “blaming misspelled words on your pencil.” I try to explain that everyone makes mistakes and if they want to change for the better they deserve forgiveness. Second chances and all that jazz. At the audition Jessica is cute and has a real pretty voice on the Carrie version of “I’ll Stand by You.” She makes it through to Hollywood and here’s praying that she stands strong.

Next is a dorky guy who reminds me of Kevin on the defunct sitcom Just Shoot Me. Why The Powers That Be cart these short-bus folks in front of us to be mocked is beyond me. Why I watch it and call it “entertainment” is even farther beyond me. (This means that I am just as bad as them so will just STHU now.) The guy is a roller coaster enthusiastic and takes us on a very scary ride when he attempts my man Elliott’s “Wait for You.” Simon proves that he is not the devil (Philip Pullman is) by saying “you are a very nice man Paul” and actually seems to mean it.

More shots of cowboy hats, big hair, and a few weirdoes in the mix to make it interesting. A restaurant-singer gal tries to perform a Kelly C. song and it’s awful. She is comforted by two buxom blonde BFFs as she leaves.

More awfulness ensues and the judges seem to be getting discouraged. Finally a cute blonde named Alaina comes in but we quickly find out that her ego is way too big. She thinks that Carrie Underwood looks like her, thank-you-very-much. (I think this chick looks like Lulu on General Hospital.) Thank you Simon for telling her that “you are not as good as you think you are” and has to explain the word “latter” to her. Heh. She makes it through in spite of her “I’m all that”-ness.

A boy-girl duo attempt to sing together and it’s a hot mess on so many levels. I ask “what are they doing??” and My Kid answers “making me deaf.” The judges are stunned into silence and Voiceover Ryan says something about Italian opera.

Next is a beyond-virginal guy named Bruce who is way too cute to have never kissed a girl before. He has this really strange necklace with a key and his dad has the heart or some such nonsense. My Kid thinks it’s sweet but come on - bizarro alert. They’re just making too much of this not-kissing issue. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that you can’t kiss before marriage. Bruce has a good voice but the judges deem him to be not skanky enough for Hollywood. My Kid’s angry at his rejection and thinks he deserved a chance.

A back up singer named Pia with a Mary J. Blige edginess comes in next and blows everybody away with her awesome voice. Simon ticks me off when he refers to background singers as being “whipped donkeys” because it seems he is making fun of our girl Mindy Doo from last year. Pia makes it through and I like her in spite of her weird hair.

Next up is the grossest thing I have ever seen on American Idol. EVER. I can’t even type it without getting nauseous. Ryan has weird chat with a semi-cute and seemingly normal guy who collects his freakin’ fingernail clippings in a Ziploc bag. His name is Brandon and he has a great smile but that nail thing is just too disgusting. And WHY did he tell the judges about it? Just when you think he doesn’t stand a chance in Hades, he starts to sing and he’s not horrible. He makes it through to the next round but I have to go throw up now. Too much time wasted here.

Hopefully the next gal will be better. Her name is Kayla, she is a mom and has a Minnie Mouse speaking voice, a’la Paris Bennett. We quickly discover that she is tonight’s Sob Story, as she explains that she was disfigured in a horrible car accident. She has mostly recovered and has a renewed joy of life and this gal is absolutely adorable. If they make a Lifetime movie of her life story, Kyra Sedgwick should totally play her part. Kayla sings a Janis Joplin song and it’s not great but HOW can the judges say no to this lady? My Kid does not understand why they said NO to virgin guy but YES to car wreck lady. Shrug.

Now we have to hear some of the baddies, including a Ruben look-alike who sounds like a little boy. And teenage boys should never attempt Aretha. It’s just wrong.

Next up is a pretty gal named Kady who does vocal impressions, including Rascal Flatts, to which I say Huh? They ask her to do a Britney impression which she does and sounds better than Spears ever did. Finally they get her to do a song as “herself” and she does a lovely version of “Unchained Melody” that easily gets her to the next round.

Eleven other people made it through but we only get to see tiny bits of them. Hopefully the wizards behind the curtain learned their lesson from last year and actually SHOW some footage of people who made the Top 24. (But do they ever listen to me? Uh, no.)

Day Two in Dallas and Paula now has the pretty Gracie Hart hairdo. My Kid and I love those Miss Congeniality movies.

For some reason right off the bat we get a creepazoid named Douglas. Poor pitiful guy whose own dad hates him, so he says. He tries to warm up before singing “Living on a Prayer” and somewhere Jon Bon Jovi is throwing bricks at his television set. (Speaking of Bon Jovi, they are touring with Chris Daughtry and will be in our area in March. Wahoo!) Security finally has to escort Douglas out to a “safe place.” Next!

Newlywed Angela is next and she explains how her male model hubby helped her pick out the song she’s singing today. She even brings him out to show him off and I don’t blame her; he’s handsome in that bland soap-opera-star way. Her first song is “Baby Love” which she does in a “sorority girl doing karaoke on a cruise ship” kinda way. Her hubby thinks she is great which proves the “models are not that bright” theory that all of us average folks want to believe, heh. After way too much time wasting she is finally sent on her way.

We get to meet this year’s Kevin Covais, only his name is Kyle. He’s a political science student who wants to be governor one day but for now, he is “campaigning” to be the next American Idol. They edit his video like a political ad and it’s so funny when they do the “in case it isn’t obvious this is a joke ha ha” at the end of it. (I actually do need that disclaimer since I am the most politically ignorant person on this planet. I don’t understand any of it and don’t care to. I mean, what the heck is a “caucus” anyway? Sounds like a bad rash or something; I hope they make an ointment for it.) At any rate, Kyle wows the judges with the Queen song he does and they try to figure out a way to turn him down. He squeaks through to the next round after promising not to be the next Clay Aiken. They should have added JPL, Federov and Malakar to that mix also.

Next is a gal who Talks Real Slow and has Very Long Pauses. She does a Celine Dion song real badly but says she gave it her best shot. Whatever. Ryan tries to bring her back to consciousness when the audition is over but we’re not sure if he is successful.

Next is Colton who is in a band with his brother; My Kid proclaims that he is a cutie patootie. He has the Blake-ish hair and Ryan-ish tee shirt. He has a good voice on a song called “Boondocks” but he kept his eyes closed. He gets mixed reviews but makes it through to My Kid’s delight. They pull a fast trick on his family waiting outside which is cute and more entertaining than the singing.

Ryan reminds us that we are in the home of the wild wild west where men are men. Right? Well, not necessarily as the parade of freaks is presented. Thank goodness the beeping of the winter weather alert drowns out most of the bad singing.

Now we get to meet a farmer named Drew who introduces us to his whole family and talks about life on the farm. There is a lot invested in this montage which is set to the background of that “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy” song. My Kid proclaims this guy to be smoking hot also but in a different way than the one from before. At the audition Drew says that he has a “hate-love relationship” with farming and would not be averse to giving it up for singing. He sings an old George Strait song and does well with it, if you like country. It’s not Simon’s thing but Randy and Paula put him through to the next round.

Next up is the long lost love child of Marilyn Manson and Richard Simmons. This impressed-with-himself dude explains more about “guyliner” and fake tanning than we ever need to know. And he is a counselor to little kids which is actually kinda normal in this liberal-ass day and age. He attempts a recent Kelly C. song and hangs himself with his own rope. Poor guy doesn’t comprehend what the judges are trying to tell him – dude you are SCARY and after a hundred years he’s finally told a big fat no.

We are reminded for the zillionth time that Kelly Clarkson was found in Dallas during the premiere season of American Idol. This segues into a montage of some terrible singers butchering Kelly’s “Since You Been Gone.” What the bleeding H E double hockey sticks are some of these folks thinking???

Finally a pretty lady in an ugly dress comes in the door. Her name is Nina and she is from the very same town as Kelly C. and has a flower behind the ear a’ la Jasmine Trias. She has a lovely voice but breaks the AI commandment of “thou shalt not sing Whitney unless you are Whitney.” She does a jazzy number next and it sounds better but the judges are still mixed. Nina makes it through in spite of Simon calling her old-fashioned.

There is only one guy left and it’s a Jackie Chan look-alike in a weird costume that looks like something between an angel and a pimp. Way too strange especially since he’s older than me for pete's sake. Renaldo is a huge Simon fan and has written a song called “We are Brothers Forever.” Introduction ladies and gents to the next William Hung. Obviously this guy is adorable especially when he says he wants to “give hope to those who are in despairs.” But this segment goes on way way too long so I go feed the dogs. When I get back, it is STILL going on, only now Ryan and Randy are singing with him and Paula is dancing. More Simon worship and hugging and halos and finally it’s over. (It’s three hours later as I write this and My Hubby is still singing the Renaldo song.)

Dallas Faves:
Best Female Singer: Pia
Best Male Singer: Drew
Best Backstory: Kayla

Random quotable one-liners:
Ryan: “I’ve kissed a girl today.”
Simon:… “they say love is deaf right?”
Paula: “There’s something that came over me, I don’t know what it’s called? Niceness.”
Randy:… “it’s the demon, tackle the demon!”

Next week they show the auditions from San Diego… 'til then, all together now “we are brothers…”

American Idol From Philadelphia

January 15, 2008

My friends at work were teasing me all day, asking “wasn’t today a holiday for you?” (Yes, they all know of my obsession and accept me in spite of my eccentricity.)

At three minutes to show time, I make My Hubby promise that he will only talk to me during the commercials. If he does not comply then I will just have to get the duct tape.

So here we go … Voiceover Ryan tells us that the first audition show is from Philadelphia, and from the camera pans it looks like crazillions of people are there. They show a quick-take combination of normal folks and freakadelics. My favorite was the gal making balloon animals; if you are stuck there for hours, make it fun right?

Ryan foreshadows that “everyone has a story,” and then we are subjected to a blink-and-you-miss-it montage of people auditioning, most of them sounding surprisingly pretty good.

Finally the words we’ve waited 7 ½ months to hear: “This. Is. American Idol.” Cue the music…

We are treated to a history lesson about the “city of brotherly love,” and while I am interested in culture as much as the next very boring person, I wanna see some action! Simon, Randy and Paula arrive all smiles and laughter, with hugs all around for the fans; like they have never been away.

First guy up is named Joey and he’s lost an impressive 204 pounds. He makes cutesy butchy chit-chat with Ryan before facing the judges. And wow, the guy can sing his newly buff behind off! Was not expecting him to blow us away like that; Joey deservedly makes it through to Hollywood.

Next we have a guy from Egypt named Youka who is adorable; he looks like a cross between Adam Sandler and that guy that’s running for president. His appreciation for being in the USA and the Paula fan-dom does not make up for the fact that he can not sing. Especially a song by “Mr. The Bee Gees.”

Paula calls Simon a moronic jerk and then next up is a pretty gal named Melanie. She has sung backup for Taylor Hicks and has good things to say about him but admits that he doesn’t talk about the judges much. Melanie sings the most overused song on the planet, “Unwritten,” aka the Pantene shampoo commercial song. The judges aren’t blown away but they put her through to the next round.

Now we have a tour guide dude who was encouraged by his co-workers to audition. They must dislike him very much because he is very bad, comically awful and the judges laugh at him. While it’s not okay to laugh at someone, you have to wonder WTH are these people thinking??

After shots of a street vendor selling cheesesteaks, Voiceover Ryan explains his theory of how the Liberty Bell got its crack: it’s the high-pitched and off-key notes of the next few bad singers. I think my head is cracking like that bell especially when Simon has to yell at one gal named Sybil to SHUT UP.

Finally we have another good one, a handsome guy whose name is Junot. He does great on an old Elton John song and the judges say it’s Ju-yes. Heh. Then there’s a gangsta-looking guy singing in Spanish, which is always annoying on AMERICAN Idol. Another very tall guy with a Zac Efron hairdo makes it through; I summon My Kid by bellowing “Cute Guy Alert” and she finally comes to watch the show with us.

Next up we have a gal named Temptress, a teenager who is a football player. She and Ryan make cute conversation; “don’t let this fools you – make me mad enough and I will break your bones.” Bless her heart, she is a sweet girl who takes care of her sick mother, but unfortunately she can not sing her way out of a paper bag. The judges are very nice to her though and let her down gently with group hugs all around.

We’ve noticed that something very strange is happening on this show tonight. Simon is actually becoming a human being. (Hell froze over but they didn’t show that clip on The Soup.)

Next is a cute guy who can make cricket noises but sounds like a drunken sailor while singing “White Christmas.” Ryan alerts us that the judges are kinda PO’d at the lack of talent they’ve seen for the past few hours.

This warning does NOT explain why we are now being subjected to a really bad finance guy named Udi who massacres “My Way.” And if this guy is 28, then I am 19. At last, Simon calls it like it is and gives this guy what-for. Whew, was getting worried there for a while. As My Kid put it, “Finally! Mean Simon.” Unfortunately Udi seems to be one of those guys who proves that a high IQ does not always equal common sense.

Because we need to be punished at least once during each episode, we are treated to a horrifying montage of Joan Jett’s classic “I Love Rock and Roll” being drawn, quartered and executed by a buncha losers. My Hubby and I reminisce about how this song was playing the night that we met. Our Kid says she didn’t realize that song was THAT old. Heh. She is such a smart aleck; don’t know where she gets it from.

OOOH commercial for The Sarah Connor Chronicles. My Kid and I love this new best show ever; what is not cool about evil robots from the future?

So next we are introduced to a silly-looking gal named Alexis who looks like a glitter factory exploded on her face. She reminds me of that gal from Growing Pains, during her anorexic days. I don’t know why they are spending so much time with this chick, showing her art and her straight-from-the-50s mom and discussing her dreams of being a vet. During her audition she is not nearly as bad as we expected, but you can’t really tell on this Grace Slick song. Simon pokes the bear by telling her that she sounds like she is “possessed” which was a little harsh. But the others sugarcoat it by saying she could be in a 60s cover band. Alexis goes into a very long and disturbing rant and says that she is going to go into “actressing.” Her mom acts as enabler and they finally mercifully leave.

Voiceover Ryan talks about family support with lots of shots of little sisters and moms and cute kids. Some give words of comfort when their loved one is turned down, and others share in the victory of making it to Hollywood.

This segment leads to the Sob Story of the evening as we are introduced to a lovely young gal named Angela. Her beautiful little daughter Jessica has Rett syndrome and Angela wants to give her a better life. My Kid says that she wants Angela to win, even before she starts to sing. Thank goodness, she does have a good voice and makes it through. Simon tells her to please lose the “wedding band-ness” and she will be fine. Poor Ryan is tackled by Angela’s family in all the excitement and has an “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” moment.

We are now on Day Two of the auditions in Philly. Because we have short attention spans, they remind us of what we’ve JUST seen. Thanks, my memory stick needed a boost.

For no apparent reason at all, a bunch of folks mug “I love you” at the camera, then the judges come in. Randy reminds us that we are in Season Seven dawg!

First up is a teeny tiny gal who must have escaped from the eating disorder clinic. Simon says that her singing is like a nightmare he had last week. Ouch. And go have a Twinkie. (Not to make fun of skinny minnies, but hey – fat people are mocked ALL the time so fair’s fair.)

Next we have a few screaming screechers and I have to go get Band-Aids for all of our bleeding ears. When I get back, there is an old dude named Milo who wants to sing a song that he wrote called “No Sex Allowed.” It is awful and disturbing and My Kid says that this is like a scary After School Special.

Now we have a lovely blonde girl named Kristy who is into horses, log cabins, and cage fighting. She sold a horse to make it to the tryouts so we are hoping the best for her. Naturally, the guy judges let their minds go straight to the gutter as they get a visual on the “cage.” But when she sings a Reba-esque version of “Amazing Grace,” they take notice and she deservedly makes it through.

Some guy in a Jedi cloak comes in and flashes us to reveal his Star Wars man-kini costume. Just too weird. He’s hairy and scary and thinks he’s entertaining. Paula can’t get past the chest hair so he offers to go get it waxed. Simon is not amused and neither are we.

We are next subjected to some bad looking and sounding singers. I think a couple of glasses just broke in my china cabinet. We see the American Idol logo pop up in front of some disappointed potty mouths.

For absolutely no good reason other than The Idiots In Charge (TIIC) have lost their minds, next up is a creepy man who is: A) past the age limit; B) a creepy bad rhymer; C) a Paula stalker. His made up song is funny in the way of hyper-crazy-Dr.-Seuss. Simon tells him that he is disturbing and security has to escort him out. Restraining order anyone? Paula, please change your locks.

Next is a young mom named Beth who released a record when she was four years old. My Kid goes off when Simon asks her “why are you here?” Well duh. Just once we wish someone would say “interpretive dance” or something else acerbic. She sings one of the old songs that Pickler warbled back in AI5 and makes it through.

Commercials: That new upcoming lie detector “game show” is just too freaking weird.

Next the “I waxed my chest hair” guy is back for his big reveal and I am so glad. Because I feel sick and will pass on my TV-time snack and the extra calories are not needed. “Don't Cha” think your producers are on crack tonight?? “Don't Cha?”

Now we have a cute guy named Chris with great cheekbones and corn rows who “represents” Delaware. He sings that “Follow Me” song and is really good, does it better that the Uncle Kracker guy. He easily makes it through to the next round, however My Kid predicts that he may be this year’s Sanjaya (got through based on great hair and the cuteness factor.)

Some rejects are shown, again with a lot of tears, excuses and AI logo pop ups. There are two gals left, one of them a die hard Star Wars fan named Christina. She has the Princess Leia hair and a “please bring the straight jacket” attitude. She would be cute if she dialed down the crazy; she looks like a cross between Linda Ronstadt and Clea Duvall. Our house is divided in regards to Christina’s voice. My Kid says she sounds okay but My Hubby and I are covering our ears in horror. Our Doggies agree with us as well as the judges. They try to let her down easy but she morphs into total Rant Girl. She needs to go have a drink with Glitter Beyotch from earlier tonight.

The last gal is Brooke, a nanny to adorable twin girls. We know they are cute because we get to see her feeding and singing to them in the awwww moment of the evening. Before she gets to audition there is much banter about her not seeing R-rated movies or some such. Finally, she sings beautifully and the judges like her voice. Simon promises to bring her to the “dark side;” whatever. And then we have a flashback moment to last year’s “other door.”

We get to see flashes of some of the others who made it through to Hollywood, including one guy who looks like a young Mr. T.

My Favorites from Philly:

Best Male Singer: Joey
Best Female Singer: Kristy
Best Backstory: Angela

Tonight’s Best dialogue:

Youka (the Egyptian guy) and a skanky-looking gal talk about his girlfriend -
Skank: … “you have kids?”
Uka: “I’m not married.”
Skank: “Why, just cuz you’re not married you can’t have kids? Welcome to the new city baby cuz that’s all’s going on over here!”

Ryan: (after being knocked down in a group hug) “I got a new handbag.”

Glitter B* to Simon: … “if I could legally moon ya, I would!”

Crazy Leia: “They want the typical superficial-looking girls with the makeup and pretty hair and then someone walks in with uniqueness and they don’t want'cha.”

Tomorrow night we get to see the Dallas auditions. But now it’s Jordin Sparks being interviewed on our local news. Weird how they did not make a mention of last year’s show…

*Disclaimers and Whatnot*

January 15, 2008

American Idol Premiere Night has finally arrived!! The show has not even started yet and I am already having a Happy Bunny moment – this show is coming on just for me!! Heh heh.

Just need to vent for a little bit, so strap in...

I have been using some waiting time to read other AI blogs and have noticed that a few of them have some kind of “disclaimer” statement. In the world we live in today, where free speech has been replaced by “politically correct” BS, I suppose it is a matter of self-protection to provide those needful legalities. Call me crazy but isn’t there that whole “freedom of expression” thing that our ancestors fought so hard for? Now we feel obligated to say “oh I am so sorry if my thoughts do not match your thoughts.” Bull freakin’ crap on that.

The sole purpose of having an AI blog in the first place is so I can vent all my feelings about my favorite show and get all of the angst out of my system. This way I do not chatter incessantly about all things Idol and alienate my friends in the process. My ramblings and mumbo jumbo are therapeutic for me in a way, and since I write “laak I tawk” it is all very informal and fun. I enjoy making up words that will never be found on spell-check. (Reminder: that is why it’s called a WEB LOG, not an ACADEMIC THESIS.)

However, as a non-conformist who believes that “telling it like it is” is still the proper method of communication, I refuse to compromise on my opinions. While name-calling and bullying are definitely inappropriate, I think it’s okay to be {gasp} honest. Why call a dingbat a daffodil or a turd a tulip? Makes no sense to me.

So ... my disclaimer is simply this: these opinions are mine and only mine because this blog is my place to vent about my favorite show. If you are easily offended by the Truth According to Aunt Pearl, stop reading now. Back away slowly from the danger zone that used to be the American way of actually Having Our Own Beliefs.

And observe the Happy Bunny picture above and smile.

Seven Days...

Got my American Idol TV Guide in the mail today, y'all! Yipee! This is a really fun picture! For those of you living in a cave with Marshall, Will & Holly - pictured are (from left) Paula Abdul, Ryan Seacrest, Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson.

Let's see what the fab 4 have been up to...

Ryan - It's good to see the little man again! I could have caught him on E-News, but have not had that lobotomy yet. In addition to his AI duties, Ryan will be the entertainment host for the Superbowl (a.k.a. launching pad for new commercials) next month.

Randy - Yo yo yo the dawg's lookin' dapper! Randy is predicting a guy to win this year. He's been keeping busy with his weekly "hit list" radio show and producing a show called America's Best Dance Crew, a hip-hop dance contest.

Paula - Totally by accident I caught a few minutes of the train-wreck reality show Hey Paula, and I am kinda freaked by Ms. Abdul now. Girlfriend still looks great; she's gorgeous. She's been doing the talk show route, but has kept a low profile since the summer.

Simon - Who cares... Oh all right! His Grumpiness has been across the pond with his X Factor show and Britain's version of Got Talent. He also produced the yucky Grease is the Word and the upcoming Rock Rivals. Man's got his hands in a lot of pies, not all of them American. Heh.

ONE MORE WEEK ...

In the words of Samara from The Ring, "Seven days."

BRWHAHAHAHA

Hopefully it won't be all that scary. Then again, that's why we watch the audition episodes, right?

Happy 2008!!

A new day has dawned in the new year… time to re-evaluate life and get those traditional New Year’s Resolutions down on paper, right? NOT!

No New Year’s Rez for this chickie. I mean when you stop and think about it, what ARE they all about anyway? Answer: they’re about making yourself better, which indicates that you’re just not good enough as you are. And although everyone has room for improvement, too much emphasis is placed on the could-have-beens and need-to-bes. At least so thinks Aunt Pearl, and it’s my blog, so deal.

Because list-making is a hobby of mine, and I am passing on the opportunity of a NY rez list, I need to think of something else to catalog. So here goes the latest…

TOP AMERICAN IDOL NEWS

My favorites…

DAUGHTRY tops the Billboard charts. How sweet he is to his fans is just one more reason why I love Chris … (Oh Boey! I know how that family feels... My angel daughter loved Alan Jackson but that’s a story for a different day. I have to go have a nervous breakdown now.)

Okay I'm back to continue my list of not-importantness...

Katharine is still pretty but her songs are kinda pop-blah-vanilla.

Elliott had a holiday CD out this season but darn, I missed it!

Mandisa!! is the queen of the gospel charts and nominated for a Grammy!!! Still love that gal!

Blake is not one of my faves but My Kid still loves him. He released a CD that more than likely has a lot of fartin noises on it.

Melinda, aka Mindy Doo toured with Michael W. Smith over Christmas. But we want your CD NOW!!! Pretty please?

Phil has a nice country song out…

Chris has a funny vid called Chris Sligh - New Album - Confessional Cam. He also plugs Phil’s song.

Bo is as ruggedly gorgeous as ever and has a new CD out called See the Light. Awww and he has a little boy now.

Clay - since I am a North Carolina native, I feel obliged to mention him. I still think he looks like kd lang.

Updates on past winners…

Kelly has a new stylish ‘do and plenty of ‘tude to spare. “Walk Away” is still my favorite song of hers.

Ruben returns pounds lighter, but has been dropped by his label, J Records.

Fantasia, another NC native, is ending her critically acclaimed portrayal of Celie on Broadway’s Color Purple run.

Carrie is a superstar; no news there, natch. Word is that she is set to tour with both Keith Urban and Josh Turner this year.

Taylor, prez of the Soul Patrol, has also been dropped by his label, J Records. There seems to be a pattern here…

Jordin - wow, she is a déjà vu of Kat McPhee (pretty but plain vanilla pop) …

P.S. Next for the extreme AI fan: Chicken Soup for the American Idol Soul – this is too much even for me!