Updates Saturday

Hi Everyone:

Hope you all are having a great week!

I apologize for the lack of updates but my grandfather hasn't been doing very well lately and we've been in and out of doctors, nursing homes, and hospitals all week. He's been transferred from NJ to NY for additional tests to hopefully find out what's going on with him. He's also having a really tough time walking without two people holding him up (just last month he was moving on his own).

Unfortunately the blog has taken a back burner to family issues and I won't be able to update until Saturday when he returns to NJ. Stay tuned and thank you for all your understanding and support! It means a lot!!

xo-Jenna

The Top 12 Girls Will Stand by Us Criminals

As a die-hard fan once again, I am all over the “interwebs” searching for American Idol news and updates.  I was surprised to read that most folks were disappointed in last night’s performances from the guys.  My Kid Tru and I didn’t find them to be so bad, except for Jordan “OMG You are Not Usher” Dorsey.

We did notice that the music seemed to be drowning out the vocalists. I read that Nigel tweeted his apologies about the sound quality, but this seems to happen every year.  I think they do it on purpose so that sub-par contestants have a scapegoat when they bomb, but then again I am jaded.

“Who do you love?” Ryan asks from a shadowy stage. My Kid Tru says, “Well, you for one Mr. Seacrest.” I love watching this show with her.

Once again, the judges are introduced with a big intro on the stage. ST’s future is so bright he has to wear shades, Randy is wearing his favorite Mr. Rogers sweater, and Jen is a superhero from the future.

Ryan makes a joke about being short. All he needs to do is watch one episode of The Soup and he will hear all the short jokes he ever needs. (We also love you, Joel McHale!)

It’s time for Ask the Judges. Jennifer thinks that the girls will be “explosive.” Randy thinks that THIS is American Idol. Steven and his long feather are addicted to adrenalin and full moons. Tru and I feel kinda bad for Randy – the crowd cheered wild for J.Lo and even wilder for ST, but for him… silence. Oh well, he is sad all the way to the bank I guess.

As last night with the boys, the girls can select “any” song to perform tonight. We all know that this is not really true – the song has to be put through a variety of legal channels and be “approved.” As they say in corporate America "It is what it is."

First up is the really pretty gal with all the Ts in her name.  I am going to get tired of typing Ta-Tynisa, but then again probably not.  She is not doing well on the Rihanna hit “Only Girl in the World” but looks great and has a cute outfit.  ST disagrees with us and thinks she’s fabulous, but he was probably distracted by her shiny legs. But Jen likes her too, so what the heck do we know?  Thankfully Randy tells it like it is – it was just okay. He and Jen argue for about a hundred years before Ryan referees a time out. Can’t we all at least agree that the boots did not go with the dress? Ryan says yes. (Not really.)

Naima is on the chat stool with Ryan as we are mesmerized by the crazy Coke logo. Tru and I like Naima and even more now that she tells Ryan how she designs all those wild, wonderful dresses. On stage, she does “Summertime” which makes me nervous at first – I love Fantasia’s version of this song. Naima totally puts her own spin on it, jazzing it up and making it upbeat. We learn that her name means “exotic flower” which is fitting. Randy dings her on being a lounge act and he recalls Ms. Barrino also. ST compares her to Ella Fitzgerald. One thing is for sure – they will be no more cleaning toilets for Naima.

We learn that Kendra was a bathtub salesgirl prior to Idol, and that in her initial audition she had some kickass shoes. Tonight she is wearing leather pants from the Lady Heather collection and some chains.  She sings a song that I have never heard before; Tru tells me that it’s “Impossible” by Christina Anguskankyho. Maybe I like Kendra’s version so much because I have no basis of comparison? Randy compares her to Lauryn Hill, who I remember vaguely before she poofed.  The others like Kendra too, and Jen even reminds everybody that Kendra has been one of those underdog contestants this year.

My Kid Tru’s favorite is up next – the contestant who would not stop trying, Rachel. I haven’t been a fan of hers so far, past or present. It takes awhile to figure out what the heck she is singing and it’s halfway over before we realize it’s “Criminal.” Rachel has totally changed the tune and style of the song and she’s so busy posing and acting that her voice is not good. At least she looks beautiful, the best we’ve ever seen her. Even Tru agrees that her girl “needs to be redeemed” and owes Fiona an apology now. The judges are not happy with the Broadway-esque of the performance and Rachel is broken-hearted.

We quickly segue to Karen, who is in extra pageant mode tonight. Everything screams “Miss Universe” –long dress, standing still, dramatic hand gestures, the song “Hero.”  She has flat ironed her hair and we notice that it’s the same color as Jen’s. We notice this because we are bored and trying to stay awake. The judges disagree because they love Karen, especially how she sung in both English and Spanish. Karen is a pretty girl and we’ve definitely heard Mariah done worse on this show. Tru says that she hopes no one asks her any questions about “maps and such.”  I laugh so hard that I wake the puppy up.

Ryan reminds us again that J.Lo has a new song/video out and it’s sponsored by Ford. I figured her more of a limo kinda gal. Or at least a convertible like in that video where she keeps throwing things out of the car because she's mad about having too many possessions. Or something like that, but I digress.

For the first time, we learn that Lauren Turner was compared to Bette Midler in the early rounds. This is so true! She is a powerhouse vocalist and I don’t know the song, but she’s doing great. It’s funny that she is singing about “scrubbing dirty floors” because she was a maid. She won’t have to do that anymore; even if Idol doesn't work out, she’s awesome. I’m afraid she won’t make the cut because she’s been an underdog all season. Randy exclaims that she reminds him of Amy Winehouse and someone named Florence. (Tru says it’s a compliment.) Jen wants Lauren to get in the camera’s face, and I can totally see her doing that.

For no apparent reason, James hangs all over Ryan as he reminds us that tomorrow night is results time. Was that skit for another short joke maybe?

Anyway. Next up is the lovely Ashthon, who has not impressed us so far with her singing. It seems like they picked a lot of these girls based on looks; Tru reminds me that they’ve always done that. Ashthon sings something about having “Love All Over Me” and it sounds like something icky. Moist towelette anyone? She has great stage presence but this is a horrible song. Before we can even contemplate how much she looks like a young Tyra Banks, it’s finally over. The judges liked her, and she is so cute telling J.Lo how she’s trying to emulate her neck moves. Adorable gal, but please no more Monica songs.

We are reminded of Julie and all of her various flouncy skirts. She is very stylish and pretty; tonight she looks like she’s ready for prom. (Side note: According to the interwebs, Julie and Casey went to prom together.) Tonight her song choice is puzzling and all kinds of wrong for her. “Breakaway” by Kelly Clarkson is meant for a big diva-ish voice, not a sweet vocal like Julie’s. As we sit through this performance, Tru and I recall that this song was co-written by Avril Lavigne, one of her favorites back in the “Complicated” days. The judges tell Julie that this was not a good choice for her and they are disappointed.

The next contestant is one of those rarities that pop up every year – Haley has a voice that people either love a lot or hate a lot. All season I’ve been pegging her as this year’s Megan Joy. However, tonight she sings “Fallin’” and keeps the growling to a minimum.  Because she’s still a teenager, something about her performance reminds me of a little girl dressing up in mom’s clothes and singing in front of the mirror. Actually I bet she did this a lot growing up; all that posing and spinning. Randy was not impressed and plays the karaoke card. ST and Jen disagree whole-heartedly, and it’s two against one again.

Ryan reminds us that this year mere infants in Rainbow Brite outfits were eligible for the competition. Like Thia, who is 15 but has the voice of a 30-year-old.  She sings the sad song from Fame, a movie that came out before her parents were even born. Thia sings well I guess, I would know if I was awake. Tru and I speculate that she is a Bot, perhaps of the T-1000 series like in the Sarah Connor Chronicles. Hopefully she has been programmed for good. The judges seem to think so – ST talks about pitch and Randy about tone. In a WTH moment, Randy compares Thia to Michael Jackson. What did I miss during nap time?

Country girl Lauren Alaina is up next. The pretty teenager has tamed her hairdo and is dressed in age appropriate attire tonight. Tru loves this girl a lot and tries to explain to me that Lauren has a crush on ST but not in a creepy way.  On stage Lauren sings a country song that I don’t know, “Turn on the Radio.” The lyrics are catchy and Lauren performs well. She owns the stage; she has natural ability and the judges agree. Randy says she’s like a blend of Kelly and Carrie and that will be true in time. Evidently she has given Ryan the nickname Peaches because they’re both from Georgia. America just threw up a little.

We didn’t know that Pia is a former makeup artist but it explains a lot about how good she always looks. She could be a movie star if the singing thing doesn’t work out. Or on a cool series on USA, because they have the best shows. Looks like Pia will be on Idol for awhile because she does a great job with the Pretenders “I’ll Stand by You.” She puts her heart into the song and it reminds me of the Carrie Underwood Idol Gives Back version. The big note at the end brings the judges and her competition to their collective feet. Randy proclaims she deserved the standing O and she is a shoo-in for the finals.

To recap: Ta-Ty wants to feel like the only girl in the world who should go home tonight, Naima spreads her wings in a homemade dress, Kendra says it’s impossible to move in the leather pants, Rachel needs a good defense for massacring Apple, Karen is “yo quiero Taco Bell” or something, Lauren tells us the days of the week in the order of a fool, Ashthon has some sugar all over herself, Julie will take a stand but not tonight, Haley keeps falling in and out of that tight dress, Thia wants to belong to Miss Teen USA, Lauren tells us where to go on the radio, and Pia will stand by you in the top ten.

Now I am off to online voting – will be casting mine for Kendra. Probably both Laurens also and Naima. The revamped AI website is really cool with loads of info for the superfan (me.)

Quotes from tonight:

Ryan:  Randy, with all due respect, it takes a lot to move you.

Lauren Turner:  I’m sarcastic, America. Just so you know.

Steven:  You know, after Monday and Tuesday, even a week says WTF.

Tomorrow night will be the big reveal. Which five guys and five gals will make it? Will Ryan wear the undertaker suit again? How many times will ST say “beautiful?” Will Randy ever get a cheer from the crowd? Most importantly, which hairstyle will Jen have? We shall see …

The Top 12 Guys Put a Spell on Us OMG!

There are two things that I have learned in life: never go to Golden Corral on a Sunday because they are overpriced and it’s wicked crowded. And never underestimate the power of reality television to grab a hold of your entire life and not let go.

Actually I don’t really fit American Idol into this category, as I make no secret of my loathing for “reality TV.”  For my sanity’s sake, I think of it more as a “variety show.”  A “talent competition” if you will. This makes me feel somewhat better about my addiction to this show.

I’ve read all about the Top 24 on the internet so my expectation is high for the next couple of shows. Don’t bring me down (“Bruce”).

First up – the top twelve guysssss, as a dapperly clad Ryan says. The judges come out on stage and it’s nice to see that ST and Jen are still stunning, and Randy still has the leather jacket from Vegas.

We are officially on the big stage and we get the “360 tour.”  I feel like I am watching Inception again so everything is confusing now. Are we in someone’s dream?

Ryan lets Randy explain the initiation of the new judges and the coolness of the “Remix.” My Kid Tru and I fully agree that this panel of Judgery is awesome. After chatter about J.Lo's bling and ST’s hair feathers, we are treated to the comedic portion of our show.  ST and Ryan go all “Melissa Leo at the Oscars” with the F-bomb and it’s a good thing that we now have the AI bubble sign. Perhaps it can double as a fan if any of the judges have hot flashes.

Quick intro of the top 12 guys and none of these are Colton Dixon, so we are still resentful.

First up, fresh from the Chipmunk karaoke tour, it’s Simon going solo. Speaking of karaoke, why doesn’t it qualify as a sport?  Tonight Clint has round glasses and red shoes - two things that are usually adorable but it’s Clint. So no. He wails and struts “Superstition” for a thousand years and it seems like the music is overpowering him. I say to Tru that I never thought I’d say the words “Bucky Covington did this song better,” to which she says who? All three judges disagree with us; they f’love Clint.  Wow Ryan looks tall next to chipmunk guy. I’d rather watch the twenty upcoming Ford commercials than hear him wail again.

Next up is Jovany, he of the ripped abs and ship building career. He looks like he would be right at home in one of those mob movies. You know, where Al Pacino is a rugged cop and Robert De Niro is the bad guy trying to do right? Tru begs me to be quiet because she likes the song he is singing. Well, “I’ll Be” – he is not doing too bad and the gray suit is nice. After 30 seconds we are bored and pondering what the heck is “love’s suicide” anyway? ST is funny but not much help, Jen is happy now, but Randy is "breaking up apple carts" all over the place. What is this “cover song” of which you speak? 

We are reminded of the time that Jordon gave Jen goosebumps, and he wanted to be a legend instead of just a tool. He is very tall and attractive to look upon, but then he starts to strip and no. My puppy is fleeing now. I don’t even know this song he is attempting; thankfully my interpreter is here with me to tell me that it’s Usher, "OMG." I reflect that I didn’t realize she was such an Usher fan, and she explains that it’s the title of the song, not an expletive.  In spite of having a “booty like pow pow pow,” the judges don’t like Jordon; he agrees that he is a douche. Please go back to teaching kids how to play Chopsticks.

Design your own Coke cup!! Or not.  As the cola logo spins around and gives everyone seizures, Ryan sits on the chat stool with Tim from the TV show The Office. No wait, it’s Tim the singer. We are reminded of when he asked Jen her age and when he was in Hollywood and could sing well. Tonight he sings Rob Thomas, or is it Matchbox Twenty? In spite of us liking him a lot, he is not making us want to “Come On Over” tonight. Tru and I ponder this for the one hundred years it takes him to get through the song.  ST and Randy flat out didn’t like him at all, but Jen remembers his crush on her and goes easy on him. She’s really nice.

This is what would happen if Felicity Porter and Ron Weasley had a son – Brett. I am very glad that he is "embracing who he is," but tonight he is like a little girl playing dress up, and Jim Morrison’s shoes do not fit him in any way. His rendition of “Light My Fire” is the embodiment of good campy fun but will anyone take him seriously?  Evidently the judges do as they heap praise. Jen and Randy try to explain about the hair shaking but Brett isn’t buying it. He is like Urkel on that old sitcom - “Did I do that?” Thankfully wonderful Ryan is there to lessen, and then add to, the awkwardness. This show man! I love it so much!

The Raising Hope folks are in the audience. This is a funny show, but who has time to watch anything besides AI right now?

Ryan tells us about Jen’s new song  "On the Floor" and all of the possible endings to the video. Fans can go online or something, to vote for which ending will be used.  (Like lolcatz, I am constantly amused by these "interwebs!") Tru and I like Jen; she is quite possibly the fourth most beautiful person on the planet. But her music does not equal our tastes so we most likely won’t be interested in this song.

Next up is James, with music we do like. Metal baby! Judas Priest in the AI house, not something we have ever seen before. Tru gives me “the look” that dares me to say anything bad about James or his faces or rock horns, “I am a centaur” scarf, or one million bracelets. Actually there is no negativity tonight, he is really rocking out and is awesome. He keeps the shrieking to a minimum, saving it to the end like a good rocker should.  I say I like him and Tru says SEE! Then ST goes wild with profanity and guarantees that America will be agreeing. Jen mentions organic insanity and Randy says “it’s how you do it!” Word.

Cute Robbie is up next and after the excitement of heavy metal, we are all calmed down now. Robbie sings that Sarah McLachlan song about puppies and kittens being in danger. Then Meg Ryan was hit by a truck while riding her bicycle, which was sad. And the “Angel” was played by Nic Cage, but then again he is in every third movie ever made. When we wake up, we learn that while we napped, Robbie sang. The judges like it, especially Jen who says he told a story and alludes that it was better than Sarah. I think most definitely not, Ms. Lopez Anthony! Randy disagrees with his “co-hearts” and says it was not the best Robbie can do.

We are reminded of the discovery of Scotty and when he played baseball and sang in a phone booth from Britain. Thankfully he doesn’t do the One Song He Knows. I don’t know this song he does tonight because it’s country; it’s something about stubborn daddies writing letters from Johnsonville.  There are muddy boots and mama and I think that it’s about being in the war? Or being a long haul trucker? At any rate, it’s pleasant and nice and Scotty is just about the most adorable human ever. ST says he will be getting “Letters from Home” also, natch. Jen is glad they didn’t cut him way back and so are we.

Seattle’s own Stefano is next and I have friends in Seattle so I will like him for that reason. Also because he has impressed me with his singing in the past. Tonight not so much though. If you have ever turned the radio on in your life, you have heard this “Just the Way You Are” ditty. Stefano is having fun with the song, but  something about his performance reminds me of when Billy Crystal sang at the Oscars that time he was host. All three judges like his natural ability to be a "beast on stage" and deem him radio ready right now. Ryan fishes for info about a special lady for Stefano, but he’s not sharing secrets.

Out of 125,000 people who tried out this year, Ryan says that quirky Paul was one of them. Paul is so cute in the face and a true artist. He’s been around awhile, fronting a band called the Grand Magnolias. Of course google tells me that, not the show. On the stage, he is in all black with a black rose or something pinned to his lapel.  He sings “Maggie May” and channels Rod Stewart  well, though a bit nasally. Tru likes everything about him. I like Paul too, but not sure if this performance moved me as much as the original songs on his website. ST tells him that the jacket and two-step are awesome; all agree that he is very unique.

Ryan uses his sarcastic voice when he introduces Jacob as “understated.” Jacob admittedly “loses himself” when he sings (and also when he runs and jumps and hollers.) Tru loves Jacob and gives me that look again. Wow, her favorites are really impressing me tonight. Jacob does an elegant version of an old R&B classic and he is convincing that a “House is Not a Home” without him. He keeps the melisma to a minimum until the end, then “yes Lord” he brings it! A teary Jen compares him to the late Luther Vandross and she is not wrong. Jacob even impresses a hard to please Randy. Way to go Mr. Lusk!

Funny fearless film camp counselor Casey is up next. We’ve waited all night for him and he doesn’t disappoint. He sings “I Put a Spell on You,” and he succeeds in doing exactly just that. He growls a bit more than I’d like but that last note was just perfect. He is a natural talent and so comfortable on stage. All of the judges agree with Tru and me about the fabulousness of Casey. ST and Jen are determined to find him a girlfriend, if you read between the lines of their banter. Randy shouts “more more more.” Such truth! From the interwebs we learned that Casey had been in the hospital, but thankfully he’s better now.

Quick review of the 12 – Hey hey hey Clint you are terrible, Jovany will be our crying shoulder, Jordon will love you down and then go home, Tim tells us to hold tight he will be better than this, Brett will be untrue and a liar about flipping his hair, James heads for a new tomorrow very loudly, Robbie is in the arms of an off-key angel, Scotty picks up his gun and gets back to work, when Stefano sees your face there is not a thing that he would change, Paul didn’t want to be alone but Maggie May stole his soul, Jacob turns the key and feels love on a real high note, Casey put a spell on everyone and we are all his now and forever.

American Idol is finally offering online voting so I am off to vote for Casey. Our other favorites from tonight are James, Paul and Jacob, and because it’s required by NC law, Scotty. 

Quotes from tonight:

Steven:  Holy shipyards!

Jen:  More hair tossing than me and Beyonce put together in the past ten years!

Randy:  Turn around, show Ryan the tail… you need a tail, Ryan.

Tomorrow night, the top 12 girls will perform. I am looking forward to the underrated contestants - Kendra and Other Lauren. Tru can’t wait to see what Rachel will do. I am thinking it will be something weird, er I mean awesome.