Even Tony Bennett can’t help us now, Ryan says. Or maybe he meant the contestants and not “us” as in everyone? “The party is over for one of our finalists.” Will it be Sanjaya? Let us pray…
Recap time and everyone is in their best form… Blake doing some soft shoe, Haley in full pageant mode, Chris in grandpa’s hat, Melinda swinging, Sanjaya is slick in all the wrong ways, Gina brings a smile, Jordin is a magnet of joy, Phil is like a young Frank Sinatra, LaKisha is stormy and ya better get outta her way or she will hit you with her umbrella.
“One Love,” Kermit the Frog, and lots of bubbles showcase the Hybrid in the Ford faux-mercial.
Ryan announces that the songwriter contest is a go and here’s hoping that some amateur out there will write a song that sucks less that the “destiny” song from last year.
The contestants are divided into groups of three. Blake, Chris, and Sanjaya. Haley, Gina, and Phil. Jordin, Melinda, and LaKisha. Wow, I just realized that Jordin is really tall.
Right off the bat, that last group sits down. Y’know because those “duh” moments need to be gotten over quickly. The first group sits down next. Yep, San survives to try out yet another perky hairdo. My God.
The bottom three consists of Haley, Gina, and Phil. Since we just got home from church, I am still feeling the spirit. However, I proclaim to the fam’ that if Gina is the one who goes home tonight, then I am DONE with this show. Of course it will not be her, so I am not really worried.
Commercials… the Burger King ad featuring “Sponge Bob, No Pants”???? Wrong on SO MANY LEVELS!
American Idol morons, oops, I mean Challenge is next, and they have the nerve to ask who was “Chicken Little?” Thanks TIIC for bringing back those memories.
Idol Gives Back, blah blah blah.
Tony Bennett has the flu and will not perform tonight, but please buy his new CD, okay? Michael Somebody is filling in for him tonight, singing “Call Me Irresponsible” or something to that effect. After the first two notes, I tell the fam’ that I am fast-forwarding through this part. I honestly wish that I was classy and sophisticated enough to like this kind of music, but… okay wait. Did this singer just tell Ryan he was still voting for Antonella? I didn’t fast forward far enough.
So going home tonight - will it be the Beauty Queen, the Rocker Chick, or Smiling Phil? Phil sits down right away.
Randy says that he is surprised to see Gina in the bottom two. Paula tells them to be proud of themselves. Simon smugly says that he is not surprised at this bottom two. Liar liar pants on fire.
Gina cries a river of tears when Ryan tells her that she is the one going home. My Kid and Hubby remind me of what I said earlier, about not watching the show anymore if Gina was voted off. I tell them that what I meant was, I would not watch the show anymore TONIGHT.
While not the hugest Gina fan, it is pretty darn disgraceful that she is the one having to hear the “going home” song tonight. A litany of truck-driver swear words are going through my mind right now. The audience agrees; I don’t think I have heard booing like that since Daughtry was voted off last year. Can not help but think that she should have taken TIIC's advice and ditched the tongue stud.
Oh great and now she has to sing, “Smile though your heart is aching…” Lord have mercy. Quick flashes to the remaining contestants – Jordin is crying, Haley is smiling through her tears, San has hands folded as in prayer. Mel and Kiki are dry-eyed, probably because they know that they pretty much have this competition sewn up. The crowd finally gathers around Gina as her family sits in the audience and sobs.
At the risk of sounding third grade: “It’s not FAIR!!!”
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