April 3, 2007
Ryan is dressed in full Regis-mode as he announces that tonight the contestants were mentored by Tony Bennett. Anyone born past 1975 has probably never heard of Tony, who just turned 80 years old. He had about a zillion hit singles back in the 50s and 60s with the kinda jazzy standard songs that were popular back then. And now, he is bringing ‘em back with this crop of AI contestants.
Mr. Bennett’s montage shows us that he has released over 100 records and has always had a very big nose. “The King of Swing” still has a good voice and has recently recorded an album called “Duets.”
We see Tony meeting the kids and they are all excited about having him for a coach. My Kid asks are they are just pretending to know this guy? Shrug. I am too busy wondering why he is wearing a mustard colored jacket.
Speaking of weird fashion choices, tonight the judges seem to be trying to out tacky each other. Randy is wearing a black top that he must have borrowed from Puff Daddy Diddly-squat or whatever the heck his name is. Paula is wearing black and white stripes with a red and white scarf. It’s the jailbird-on-a-train look. And Simon… well Simon’s just there, showing a lot of manly chest hair.
First up is Blake and he is singing “Mack the Knife.” Tony doesn’t cotton to that “modern” twist that Blake is trying to spin on the song. Tonight Blake has normal hair again and he looks nice even though his pants do not match his jacket. And I just don’t get the sneakers-and-necktie combo. Anyways, his voice is pleasant enough and he restrains from doing any beat-boxing until the very end. Randy “liked it dude,” Paula says he “personified pizzazz.” Simon liked Blake but gave higher kudos to the band. Watching them stand side by side during Ryan-banter, a strange thought pops into my head – are Blake and Ryan twins separated at birth??
We get news about who will be guest starring on the upcoming Idol Gives Back special and the name that catches my attention is Harry Potter. Yay!
So now we have Phil and Tony tries to help him get the beat right on “Night and Day.” During his rehearsal, Phil has neat stubble going around the head area that makes him look worlds more attractive. Alas, he is fully bald again tonight as he sings this ballad that goes on and on forever. “I Mock You With My Never Ending Song.” Well, now we have the sacrificial goat of the evening, as the judges prepare to tear him apart. Randy says he didn’t really feel a “connection.” To Simon’s surprise, Paula compares Phil to Frank Sinatra, but then nails him on his vocals. Simon says it reminded him of a “funeral parlor.” Cute moment when Ryan leads Phil to the other side of the stage. Phil is very classy and makes no apology as he explains that he was singing this song to his wife.
Next up is Melinda and as always, she expresses surprise when Tony LOVES her. He says she has a lot of promise. Tonight she is singing “I Got Rhythm” and she looks gorgeous in a satin dress. For someone who doesn’t like high heels, she can prance around in those things with the best of ‘em. And as always, her voice is one thousand percent perfection. Randy says that she gives everyone else a “lesson in singing.” Paula is a hoot, telling Melinda that not only does she “got rhythm, you got CDs, you got number ones, you got concert halls…” Simon has to spoil the mood by saying the first half of the song was “cabaret” but admits that it is hard to criticize someone as fantastic as the great Mindy Doo.
Now on the spaceship stools, Chris R. chats with Ryan while the Coke bubbles go mesmerizingly red in the background. It is almost as distracting as Chris’s grandpa hat and vest so I miss the entire conversation. Something about song selection and singing to Paula. Eh, she has wigs older than him for Pete's sake.
During Chris’s session with Tony, he has trouble with the lyrics but Tony feels that he can learn them in time. He is singing “Don’t Get Around Much Anymore” and he starts out good and then a strange thing happens. I LIKE him. For the first time since this season started, he is not just a cute guy with an annoyingly nasal voice. He did extremely well tonight, even though the hanging suspenders were just weird. Randy says he was “cool and young and hip.” Paula echoes that verbatim and then does some weird hand movement to demonstrate eye contact. Please don’t go there, girl. Simon is LHAO at Paula tonight, as we all are. But then he actually gives Chris a kudo, which surprises Ryan, Chris, and the rest of America.
Jordin is next and she impresses Tony during their time together. He actually likes the improvisations that she gives to the song she is singing, “On a Clear Day.” Tonight she is back in curly-haired mode which is good, but she is wearing one of Melinda’s hand-me-down librarian outfits. The pants look like something you wear when you’re PMSy, so maybe that is the case. She sings the song well and she is very pretty. The camera can not find a bad angle of this gal. The judges go crazy about how good she is for one so young, and there is weird microphone feedback. Then Paula says she’s “freaking proud” of Jordin. Then there’s lots of name calling and disagreeing and it’s all very comical, especially to sweet Jordin.
Gina is next and she will be singing a song called “Smile.” A teary-eyed Tony says that when he hears this song he thinks of 9-11 and the soldiers in Iraq. And on that depressing moment…Tonight Gina starts her song sitting down, and she is very pretty tonight with her hair pulled back away from her face. She looks nice even though I still don’t like the tongue stud, it’s just ewww. She has a very good voice on this type of song and even though it is not her “thang,” she gives it her best. Randy says it was a “nice controlled performance from the rocker girl.” Paula says it was “understated beautiful and sentimental.” Simon says that she was not as good as the other girls and Gina replies that it IS a competition and there ARE all kinds of voices. So STHU Mr. Cowell! Where is that darn cue-him-to-be-quiet music when we need it?
Sanjaya is next and I have to get up to go take my dogs out. They have done nothing to deserve this type of pain and torture. So My Kid will have to take over for a couple minutes…
Ryan says that “two legends collide” when Tony meets Sanjaya. Tony coaches Sanjaya on some old song that I have never heard of called “Cheek to Cheek” and compliments him on his sense of humor AND his singing. (SEE MOM, he is a good singer! So hurry back in and finish this…) Now Sanjaya is dancing with Paula. With his slicked hair and white suit, his cheesiness reminds me of Cousin Omer. Omer was a character in the movie American Dreamz, a movie that you probably have never heard of since it was a box office flop. Not sure why it didn’t do better, as it was a movie about an American Idol-type show and came out just a few weeks before the Season 5 finale. Maybe it was the plot that did it in: “The depressed president of the U.S. is going to be a guest judge at the American Dreamz finale and one of the contestants is an Arab terrorist who is being forced by his peoples to blow him up in a suicide mission. It’s a comedy!” Oh well, back to the dismaying present, as the judges do not even try to critique baby San anymore, so I won’t either.
Now we have Haley and Her Legs talking to Ryan on the spaceship stools. They chat about her being nervous about singing and hearing Simon’s comments. She brown noses about how much she loves getting a compliment from him, but quick cut of the camera to him reveals that he is not paying any attention to her at all. Oh snnnnap!
During Haley’s session with Tony, she performs “Ain’t Misbehaving” and he tells her to sing it to just ONE person and not the entire fleet. Okay? Thanks. Tonight, she does pretty much the opposite of what he told her to do and sluts it up to the best of her ability. This sultry persona does not seem to come natural to Haley and I don’t believe that she is really the sassy brassy lass that she’s trying to portray here. This is just desperation all dressed up in Mariah’s clothes. Have to give the gal props for her vocals tonight though; she does well with the song, as good as she has done this season. This talent-portion-of-the-beauty-pageant music is right up her alley. Randy says that this was in her “wheelhouse of songs.” Paula says that “green is a good color for you.” Simon says she “has great legs.” As far as her singing, the “pageanty” comparison comes up, which is just echoing Aunt Pearl. Gee, can they hear me?
Ryan has an awkward hugging-Sanjay’s-dad moment in the audience before introducing LaKisha’s segment. Tony Bennett LOVES LaKisha’s voice as he listens to her practice “Stormy Weather,” but he wants her to go for the big note at the end instead of doing the tag. She has not taken any of the coaches’ advice so far, so I bet My Kid and Hubby five bucks that she will do the tag instead of the big note. They are too afraid that Kiki is going to come through the TV a’la Samara Morgan to bet against her. She does look pretty angry by the time she gets to the end of the song. I just have to gloat without a payoff when yep, indeedy – she does the tag. Can I call it or what? (Sometimes I think I write this show.) Randy says it was “the bomb.” Paula announces correctly that it’s the best she has ever looked; she does look lovely in the long gown. Simon says that it was “sassy” and all kinds of great.
Recaps remind us that everyone did well tonight, and yes “everyone” includes Sanjaya and Haley. The good ones did even better than usual and the mediocre shone brighter than they ever had. There is something to be said for this “classic” stuff…
My favorite tonight was Mindy Doo, natch. LaKisha is a close second, though. We all know who the bottom three SHOULD be, but it will surely not pan out like we hope. Such is the nature of the show and why it is number one. But no matter, time to move on as Ryan announces that -
“House. Starts. Now!”
Ryan is dressed in full Regis-mode as he announces that tonight the contestants were mentored by Tony Bennett. Anyone born past 1975 has probably never heard of Tony, who just turned 80 years old. He had about a zillion hit singles back in the 50s and 60s with the kinda jazzy standard songs that were popular back then. And now, he is bringing ‘em back with this crop of AI contestants.
Mr. Bennett’s montage shows us that he has released over 100 records and has always had a very big nose. “The King of Swing” still has a good voice and has recently recorded an album called “Duets.”
We see Tony meeting the kids and they are all excited about having him for a coach. My Kid asks are they are just pretending to know this guy? Shrug. I am too busy wondering why he is wearing a mustard colored jacket.
Speaking of weird fashion choices, tonight the judges seem to be trying to out tacky each other. Randy is wearing a black top that he must have borrowed from Puff Daddy Diddly-squat or whatever the heck his name is. Paula is wearing black and white stripes with a red and white scarf. It’s the jailbird-on-a-train look. And Simon… well Simon’s just there, showing a lot of manly chest hair.
First up is Blake and he is singing “Mack the Knife.” Tony doesn’t cotton to that “modern” twist that Blake is trying to spin on the song. Tonight Blake has normal hair again and he looks nice even though his pants do not match his jacket. And I just don’t get the sneakers-and-necktie combo. Anyways, his voice is pleasant enough and he restrains from doing any beat-boxing until the very end. Randy “liked it dude,” Paula says he “personified pizzazz.” Simon liked Blake but gave higher kudos to the band. Watching them stand side by side during Ryan-banter, a strange thought pops into my head – are Blake and Ryan twins separated at birth??
We get news about who will be guest starring on the upcoming Idol Gives Back special and the name that catches my attention is Harry Potter. Yay!
So now we have Phil and Tony tries to help him get the beat right on “Night and Day.” During his rehearsal, Phil has neat stubble going around the head area that makes him look worlds more attractive. Alas, he is fully bald again tonight as he sings this ballad that goes on and on forever. “I Mock You With My Never Ending Song.” Well, now we have the sacrificial goat of the evening, as the judges prepare to tear him apart. Randy says he didn’t really feel a “connection.” To Simon’s surprise, Paula compares Phil to Frank Sinatra, but then nails him on his vocals. Simon says it reminded him of a “funeral parlor.” Cute moment when Ryan leads Phil to the other side of the stage. Phil is very classy and makes no apology as he explains that he was singing this song to his wife.
Next up is Melinda and as always, she expresses surprise when Tony LOVES her. He says she has a lot of promise. Tonight she is singing “I Got Rhythm” and she looks gorgeous in a satin dress. For someone who doesn’t like high heels, she can prance around in those things with the best of ‘em. And as always, her voice is one thousand percent perfection. Randy says that she gives everyone else a “lesson in singing.” Paula is a hoot, telling Melinda that not only does she “got rhythm, you got CDs, you got number ones, you got concert halls…” Simon has to spoil the mood by saying the first half of the song was “cabaret” but admits that it is hard to criticize someone as fantastic as the great Mindy Doo.
Now on the spaceship stools, Chris R. chats with Ryan while the Coke bubbles go mesmerizingly red in the background. It is almost as distracting as Chris’s grandpa hat and vest so I miss the entire conversation. Something about song selection and singing to Paula. Eh, she has wigs older than him for Pete's sake.
During Chris’s session with Tony, he has trouble with the lyrics but Tony feels that he can learn them in time. He is singing “Don’t Get Around Much Anymore” and he starts out good and then a strange thing happens. I LIKE him. For the first time since this season started, he is not just a cute guy with an annoyingly nasal voice. He did extremely well tonight, even though the hanging suspenders were just weird. Randy says he was “cool and young and hip.” Paula echoes that verbatim and then does some weird hand movement to demonstrate eye contact. Please don’t go there, girl. Simon is LHAO at Paula tonight, as we all are. But then he actually gives Chris a kudo, which surprises Ryan, Chris, and the rest of America.
Jordin is next and she impresses Tony during their time together. He actually likes the improvisations that she gives to the song she is singing, “On a Clear Day.” Tonight she is back in curly-haired mode which is good, but she is wearing one of Melinda’s hand-me-down librarian outfits. The pants look like something you wear when you’re PMSy, so maybe that is the case. She sings the song well and she is very pretty. The camera can not find a bad angle of this gal. The judges go crazy about how good she is for one so young, and there is weird microphone feedback. Then Paula says she’s “freaking proud” of Jordin. Then there’s lots of name calling and disagreeing and it’s all very comical, especially to sweet Jordin.
Gina is next and she will be singing a song called “Smile.” A teary-eyed Tony says that when he hears this song he thinks of 9-11 and the soldiers in Iraq. And on that depressing moment…Tonight Gina starts her song sitting down, and she is very pretty tonight with her hair pulled back away from her face. She looks nice even though I still don’t like the tongue stud, it’s just ewww. She has a very good voice on this type of song and even though it is not her “thang,” she gives it her best. Randy says it was a “nice controlled performance from the rocker girl.” Paula says it was “understated beautiful and sentimental.” Simon says that she was not as good as the other girls and Gina replies that it IS a competition and there ARE all kinds of voices. So STHU Mr. Cowell! Where is that darn cue-him-to-be-quiet music when we need it?
Sanjaya is next and I have to get up to go take my dogs out. They have done nothing to deserve this type of pain and torture. So My Kid will have to take over for a couple minutes…
Ryan says that “two legends collide” when Tony meets Sanjaya. Tony coaches Sanjaya on some old song that I have never heard of called “Cheek to Cheek” and compliments him on his sense of humor AND his singing. (SEE MOM, he is a good singer! So hurry back in and finish this…) Now Sanjaya is dancing with Paula. With his slicked hair and white suit, his cheesiness reminds me of Cousin Omer. Omer was a character in the movie American Dreamz, a movie that you probably have never heard of since it was a box office flop. Not sure why it didn’t do better, as it was a movie about an American Idol-type show and came out just a few weeks before the Season 5 finale. Maybe it was the plot that did it in: “The depressed president of the U.S. is going to be a guest judge at the American Dreamz finale and one of the contestants is an Arab terrorist who is being forced by his peoples to blow him up in a suicide mission. It’s a comedy!” Oh well, back to the dismaying present, as the judges do not even try to critique baby San anymore, so I won’t either.
Now we have Haley and Her Legs talking to Ryan on the spaceship stools. They chat about her being nervous about singing and hearing Simon’s comments. She brown noses about how much she loves getting a compliment from him, but quick cut of the camera to him reveals that he is not paying any attention to her at all. Oh snnnnap!
During Haley’s session with Tony, she performs “Ain’t Misbehaving” and he tells her to sing it to just ONE person and not the entire fleet. Okay? Thanks. Tonight, she does pretty much the opposite of what he told her to do and sluts it up to the best of her ability. This sultry persona does not seem to come natural to Haley and I don’t believe that she is really the sassy brassy lass that she’s trying to portray here. This is just desperation all dressed up in Mariah’s clothes. Have to give the gal props for her vocals tonight though; she does well with the song, as good as she has done this season. This talent-portion-of-the-beauty-pageant music is right up her alley. Randy says that this was in her “wheelhouse of songs.” Paula says that “green is a good color for you.” Simon says she “has great legs.” As far as her singing, the “pageanty” comparison comes up, which is just echoing Aunt Pearl. Gee, can they hear me?
Ryan has an awkward hugging-Sanjay’s-dad moment in the audience before introducing LaKisha’s segment. Tony Bennett LOVES LaKisha’s voice as he listens to her practice “Stormy Weather,” but he wants her to go for the big note at the end instead of doing the tag. She has not taken any of the coaches’ advice so far, so I bet My Kid and Hubby five bucks that she will do the tag instead of the big note. They are too afraid that Kiki is going to come through the TV a’la Samara Morgan to bet against her. She does look pretty angry by the time she gets to the end of the song. I just have to gloat without a payoff when yep, indeedy – she does the tag. Can I call it or what? (Sometimes I think I write this show.) Randy says it was “the bomb.” Paula announces correctly that it’s the best she has ever looked; she does look lovely in the long gown. Simon says that it was “sassy” and all kinds of great.
Recaps remind us that everyone did well tonight, and yes “everyone” includes Sanjaya and Haley. The good ones did even better than usual and the mediocre shone brighter than they ever had. There is something to be said for this “classic” stuff…
My favorite tonight was Mindy Doo, natch. LaKisha is a close second, though. We all know who the bottom three SHOULD be, but it will surely not pan out like we hope. Such is the nature of the show and why it is number one. But no matter, time to move on as Ryan announces that -
“House. Starts. Now!”
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