February 20, 2007
Right off the bat, Ryan lies when he says we have the “best talent yet” this season. Uh. No. And that vest with those jeans? No again, monsieur fashionista.
Out come the guys - the goofy, the gorgeous, the bland, the blond, and the bald. We meet the judges for the trillionth time, with Randy keeping it real, Paula cackling, and Simon not really caring about anything at all. (Jennifer who? Oscar what?)
We have two hours tonight which means a lotta filler fodder and fill-in stuff from the previous rounds. We see shots of the guys getting the golden ticket and snippets of performances and interview sound bites.
First up is Rudy, who tells us in his interview clip that Simon did not like him but he has “been wrong before.” Tonight he is wearing a shirt with a big target on the front – fashion statement or parapraxis, mewonders? He oversings “Free Ride” and gets mixed reviews from the judges. I still think that he looks like a long lost Coppola-Cage family member.
At break time, Chris Sligh talks about how “pretty” all the guys are and Ryan is like dude, keep yourself over there on that couch, ‘k? To further prove that he is 100% pure butch, he tells Brandon that Christina Anguskankyho is way prettier than he is, so there.
Highlights from Brandon remind us that he is soap-opera-actor-gorgeous with a beautiful smile and a ton of charisma. Tonight he looks good in spite of a halfway untucked shirt that shows his white belt buckle that matches his sparking white shoes. He sings “Rock With You” and he does okay. The judges remind him that he ain’t a backup singer now and he does not have to do all those “runs” anymore. (And no more MJ songs please, cuz he is just creepy.)
Next, we are reminded that Sundance had the VERY BEST first audition of this or maybe any other season. And that when he got to Ho’wood things were not so good. He has an open and cute baby face but that devil beard has gotta go. Someone please cut it off while he is sleeping or something. He is dressed very stylishly tonight but has his hair all slicked up like Heat Miser from the old Christmas movie The Year Without a Santa Claus. He sings “Nights in White Satin” and he does all right but not great. The judges remind him that the bluesy stuff is way better for him and will he PLEASE for the love of God get back to that?
Paul Kim is next and he reminds us (again) that he is going to be known as the barefooted guy. Which makes sense, as his day job is a pool boy. Oh man, he is gonna have to go back to testing those chlorine levels, because his version of “Careless Whisper” is awful. I mean, first of all… Wham!?? Ewww. And you don’t ad lib “come on y’all” into a song like this. The judges have mixed reviews and Simon tells him to get some darn shoes already.
Now it’s Chris R., who says that he likes being known as Timberlake Lite, thank you very much. He is very articulate in his interview and seems humble and just a sweet nice guy. He looks good tonight, in a bank exec suit and tie. Unfortunately, the song he is doing, “I Don’t Wanna Be” has been done to death. Bo did it better and Elliott did it even better, so I am not impressed. The fam’ tells me to get over the past contestants already and focus on the NOW. I just can’t, even when the judges (2 out of 3 anyway) tell Chris R. that he did a good job.
Ryan chats with Nick and every time I hear the names “Mike or Nick,” all I can think of is Walter of the Jeff Dunham gang. Anyway, we are reminded again that Nick (all together now) dropped out last year during Ho’wood week and now he has been given a second chance and gets all teary. He is adorable in a man-boy way with cute dimples. His voice is just meh though, on a slow song that sounds like every other song like this you've ever heard. For some reason the audience cheers when he hits a really bad note; they must be playing tricks with the “applause” sign. The judges recognize that he is nervous, the song was boring, and he needs to get back to the crooning stuff that he is really good at.
Ryan reminds us that the Girls Will Perform tomorrow and he makes goo-goo eyes at them.
BeatBox Guy Blake is up next and we are reminded that he was the highlight of the group session in Ho’wood. He is sporting a funky cap in his interview and he reminds me of TobyMac, who I love, so I start to like him more. As soon as he starts to sing, I like him even better, as he is AWESOME! Have never heard of this song, “Somewhere Only We Know” but googling reveals that it is by a group called Keane. Blake does an incredible job with it. The judges agree that WOW he can actually sing! And a song from this decade no less! He smiles and says that he wanted to trick them. My Kid loves this guy but not in a Chris Daughtry-like way.
Little bitty Sanjaya chats with Ryan next and he looks like the Indian version of a teen Leif Garrett. We are reminded that yes he has a sister, and no she did not make the Top 24. (Tear drop.) We are shown flashbacks of her and she looks like the Indian version of Christina Ricci. He is ouchy yikesy bad on the Stevie Wonder song that Elliott did last year during Stevie week. My Kid tells me again to get over season’s past already, but it just can not be avoided, since I still have the sound clips from last year (all obtained entirely legally of course.) The judges tell San that he is a sweetheart, he’s adorable, but that song was just not good. He pouts prettily and I just want him to go to his homecoming dance.
Ryan tells us that if five hours a week of AI is not enough, then professional help is needed. Thank you for the tip, Ryan; is there an 866 number for this help?
Chris Sligh reminisces about his audition and experience so far and for some reason gets a semi-bleep when he says the phrase “going postal.” He is sporting the Regis black shirt/black tie combo and looks sharp. I don’t know the song he is singing, I think it’s called “Typical” since that is a word that is repeated throughout. (Yep, googling later confirms that this is the song and it's by an awesome group called Mute Math.) I LOVE Sligh's voice, his performance, everything about him. The first two judges tell him that they love him too, but he looks ready to bust whenever Simon starts to dis’ him and guess what? He dis’es Simon right back. Then Ryan gets into the middle of it and things gets Very Uncomfortable.
Jared is in the queue next and he says that he is from New York so he can handle the shenanigans going on here tonight, so bring it on. We find out that he lost his job as a waiter when he auditioned for AI. He is very handsome, mature and charming. His voice is good on the song he does tonight, “Back at One” even though he misses a few spots. Again, somebody out there is playing games with the “applause” sign, as the audience claps and cheers in all the wrong places. The judges tell him that he can do better than that and if he gets voted off tomorrow, he can always get a job on The Young and the Restless. Or maybe I added that last part.
Next we see from AJ’s clip that this is (all together now) his 5th go around with AI, and he is cute and adorable and infectious. I am just not into the boy-band type of singing that he does. He proves himself good at that too, tonight on stage as he grooves to some interchangeable boy-band type song that we've all heard at some point over the Wal-mart radio. Uh oh, Paula is up and dancing. Take her Coke cup away somebody, quick. AJ has his collar turned up, like we did in the 80’s, yo. The judges tell him that he was good, not great, and Simon throws out his patented Theme Park Performance cliché.
The last performer tonight is Phil, the navy guy, who reminds us (all together now) that he missed the birth of his child to make his audition. Like last year's Bald One, he is a family man, with a gorgeous wife beaming from the audience. He has a GREAT voice, very mellow and he hits the power notes perfectly on “I Could Not Ask For More.” Methinks that this is also a song that has been done to death on this show, but I can not remember who right now. Phil has a very cute face and beautiful smile and seems to have a great sense of humor. There is a sense of genuine kindness about him. The judges remind him that in spite of his baldness, he is NOT Chris, but that his performance was good, maybe even the best of the night.
Just to waste the rest of the time left, judge banter ensues and Ryan jests that Phil has the “Britney Spears” haircut, ha. Then Ryan asks Simon why he is so darn negative and Simon reminds Ryan and all of us that he is just Doing His Job and this is why 40 crazillion people tune in for each ep, ‘k? So just simmer down “sweetheart.”
During the recaps of the 12, I pick my favorites for tonight. Based on vocal performance my Number 1 pick is Blake, then Chris Sligh second. Actually tied with Sligh for second is Phil, who got a rocky start but finished his song wonderfully.
Going home on Thursday, I predict Paul and maybe Nick. Definitely Paul though, sorry pool boy.
Ryan reminds us (again) that the gals are coming on tomorrow. They re-show the clips of them dancing to a Kat McPhee song as we are reminded that most of these chicks were chosen cuz they are cute and look good while shakin’ their groove thang.
I still have a couple hours before having to get up and go to work, so am going to youtube or rickey to listen to the guys again…
Oh and Ryan? Can you get me that phone number to the Professional Helpline?
Right off the bat, Ryan lies when he says we have the “best talent yet” this season. Uh. No. And that vest with those jeans? No again, monsieur fashionista.
Out come the guys - the goofy, the gorgeous, the bland, the blond, and the bald. We meet the judges for the trillionth time, with Randy keeping it real, Paula cackling, and Simon not really caring about anything at all. (Jennifer who? Oscar what?)
We have two hours tonight which means a lotta filler fodder and fill-in stuff from the previous rounds. We see shots of the guys getting the golden ticket and snippets of performances and interview sound bites.
First up is Rudy, who tells us in his interview clip that Simon did not like him but he has “been wrong before.” Tonight he is wearing a shirt with a big target on the front – fashion statement or parapraxis, mewonders? He oversings “Free Ride” and gets mixed reviews from the judges. I still think that he looks like a long lost Coppola-Cage family member.
At break time, Chris Sligh talks about how “pretty” all the guys are and Ryan is like dude, keep yourself over there on that couch, ‘k? To further prove that he is 100% pure butch, he tells Brandon that Christina Anguskankyho is way prettier than he is, so there.
Highlights from Brandon remind us that he is soap-opera-actor-gorgeous with a beautiful smile and a ton of charisma. Tonight he looks good in spite of a halfway untucked shirt that shows his white belt buckle that matches his sparking white shoes. He sings “Rock With You” and he does okay. The judges remind him that he ain’t a backup singer now and he does not have to do all those “runs” anymore. (And no more MJ songs please, cuz he is just creepy.)
Next, we are reminded that Sundance had the VERY BEST first audition of this or maybe any other season. And that when he got to Ho’wood things were not so good. He has an open and cute baby face but that devil beard has gotta go. Someone please cut it off while he is sleeping or something. He is dressed very stylishly tonight but has his hair all slicked up like Heat Miser from the old Christmas movie The Year Without a Santa Claus. He sings “Nights in White Satin” and he does all right but not great. The judges remind him that the bluesy stuff is way better for him and will he PLEASE for the love of God get back to that?
Paul Kim is next and he reminds us (again) that he is going to be known as the barefooted guy. Which makes sense, as his day job is a pool boy. Oh man, he is gonna have to go back to testing those chlorine levels, because his version of “Careless Whisper” is awful. I mean, first of all… Wham!?? Ewww. And you don’t ad lib “come on y’all” into a song like this. The judges have mixed reviews and Simon tells him to get some darn shoes already.
Now it’s Chris R., who says that he likes being known as Timberlake Lite, thank you very much. He is very articulate in his interview and seems humble and just a sweet nice guy. He looks good tonight, in a bank exec suit and tie. Unfortunately, the song he is doing, “I Don’t Wanna Be” has been done to death. Bo did it better and Elliott did it even better, so I am not impressed. The fam’ tells me to get over the past contestants already and focus on the NOW. I just can’t, even when the judges (2 out of 3 anyway) tell Chris R. that he did a good job.
Ryan chats with Nick and every time I hear the names “Mike or Nick,” all I can think of is Walter of the Jeff Dunham gang. Anyway, we are reminded again that Nick (all together now) dropped out last year during Ho’wood week and now he has been given a second chance and gets all teary. He is adorable in a man-boy way with cute dimples. His voice is just meh though, on a slow song that sounds like every other song like this you've ever heard. For some reason the audience cheers when he hits a really bad note; they must be playing tricks with the “applause” sign. The judges recognize that he is nervous, the song was boring, and he needs to get back to the crooning stuff that he is really good at.
Ryan reminds us that the Girls Will Perform tomorrow and he makes goo-goo eyes at them.
BeatBox Guy Blake is up next and we are reminded that he was the highlight of the group session in Ho’wood. He is sporting a funky cap in his interview and he reminds me of TobyMac, who I love, so I start to like him more. As soon as he starts to sing, I like him even better, as he is AWESOME! Have never heard of this song, “Somewhere Only We Know” but googling reveals that it is by a group called Keane. Blake does an incredible job with it. The judges agree that WOW he can actually sing! And a song from this decade no less! He smiles and says that he wanted to trick them. My Kid loves this guy but not in a Chris Daughtry-like way.
Little bitty Sanjaya chats with Ryan next and he looks like the Indian version of a teen Leif Garrett. We are reminded that yes he has a sister, and no she did not make the Top 24. (Tear drop.) We are shown flashbacks of her and she looks like the Indian version of Christina Ricci. He is ouchy yikesy bad on the Stevie Wonder song that Elliott did last year during Stevie week. My Kid tells me again to get over season’s past already, but it just can not be avoided, since I still have the sound clips from last year (all obtained entirely legally of course.) The judges tell San that he is a sweetheart, he’s adorable, but that song was just not good. He pouts prettily and I just want him to go to his homecoming dance.
Ryan tells us that if five hours a week of AI is not enough, then professional help is needed. Thank you for the tip, Ryan; is there an 866 number for this help?
Chris Sligh reminisces about his audition and experience so far and for some reason gets a semi-bleep when he says the phrase “going postal.” He is sporting the Regis black shirt/black tie combo and looks sharp. I don’t know the song he is singing, I think it’s called “Typical” since that is a word that is repeated throughout. (Yep, googling later confirms that this is the song and it's by an awesome group called Mute Math.) I LOVE Sligh's voice, his performance, everything about him. The first two judges tell him that they love him too, but he looks ready to bust whenever Simon starts to dis’ him and guess what? He dis’es Simon right back. Then Ryan gets into the middle of it and things gets Very Uncomfortable.
Jared is in the queue next and he says that he is from New York so he can handle the shenanigans going on here tonight, so bring it on. We find out that he lost his job as a waiter when he auditioned for AI. He is very handsome, mature and charming. His voice is good on the song he does tonight, “Back at One” even though he misses a few spots. Again, somebody out there is playing games with the “applause” sign, as the audience claps and cheers in all the wrong places. The judges tell him that he can do better than that and if he gets voted off tomorrow, he can always get a job on The Young and the Restless. Or maybe I added that last part.
Next we see from AJ’s clip that this is (all together now) his 5th go around with AI, and he is cute and adorable and infectious. I am just not into the boy-band type of singing that he does. He proves himself good at that too, tonight on stage as he grooves to some interchangeable boy-band type song that we've all heard at some point over the Wal-mart radio. Uh oh, Paula is up and dancing. Take her Coke cup away somebody, quick. AJ has his collar turned up, like we did in the 80’s, yo. The judges tell him that he was good, not great, and Simon throws out his patented Theme Park Performance cliché.
The last performer tonight is Phil, the navy guy, who reminds us (all together now) that he missed the birth of his child to make his audition. Like last year's Bald One, he is a family man, with a gorgeous wife beaming from the audience. He has a GREAT voice, very mellow and he hits the power notes perfectly on “I Could Not Ask For More.” Methinks that this is also a song that has been done to death on this show, but I can not remember who right now. Phil has a very cute face and beautiful smile and seems to have a great sense of humor. There is a sense of genuine kindness about him. The judges remind him that in spite of his baldness, he is NOT Chris, but that his performance was good, maybe even the best of the night.
Just to waste the rest of the time left, judge banter ensues and Ryan jests that Phil has the “Britney Spears” haircut, ha. Then Ryan asks Simon why he is so darn negative and Simon reminds Ryan and all of us that he is just Doing His Job and this is why 40 crazillion people tune in for each ep, ‘k? So just simmer down “sweetheart.”
During the recaps of the 12, I pick my favorites for tonight. Based on vocal performance my Number 1 pick is Blake, then Chris Sligh second. Actually tied with Sligh for second is Phil, who got a rocky start but finished his song wonderfully.
Going home on Thursday, I predict Paul and maybe Nick. Definitely Paul though, sorry pool boy.
Ryan reminds us (again) that the gals are coming on tomorrow. They re-show the clips of them dancing to a Kat McPhee song as we are reminded that most of these chicks were chosen cuz they are cute and look good while shakin’ their groove thang.
I still have a couple hours before having to get up and go to work, so am going to youtube or rickey to listen to the guys again…
Oh and Ryan? Can you get me that phone number to the Professional Helpline?
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