January 31, 2007
Ryan recaps the season thus far and we are reminded that the gorgeous and talented Kat McPhee is from L.A. Yep, AI is in their own backyard, lookin’ for luv, er… great talent. The judges come draggin’ in, and yay we have a guest judge tonight to mix things up a bit.
Flashbacks of Olivia Newton-John prove that you can be beautiful and dorky at the same time. She still looks very good and makes cute banter with Simon. Hope to God that Paula doesn’t pull her diva-tude like she normally does when there is a female guest judge.
First up, it’s a K-Fed look-alike, cuz we have not had enough of him lately. Heavy sigh. We can tell already that TIIC has run out of ideas. There is way too much time wasted on this Elimidate reject. Maybe Britney needs a loony-bin backup dancer.
There should be a special Emmy award given to Ryan every year called “Best Interaction with Insane People.” Bless his heart, how does he keep a straight face??
Next, it is Forrest’s best friend Bubba who is at least one taco shy of a combo plate. His singing is painful and at least the judges wait until he leaves the room to laugh at him.
Ryan says that Hollywood is getting Hollyweird. (More news from the file marked DUH.) Proof of that is the “peanut butter jelly time” guy. Thank you so much, now THAT song is stuck in my head for the rest of the night.
Now we have a half-dressed gal from a show biz background whose mom toured with Dean Martin. My Hubby says that this gal looks like a “hoochie-mama” but that her mother is pretty. I hope for the best but cover my ears when the girl starts singing. Simon says that she sounds like Cher after she’s been to the dentist. Very embarrassing when the chick gets on her knees and begs. Too bad The OC is being cancelled; she could use this footage for an audition tape. Then the mom comes in to fuss at the judges and it is so funny when Randy and Simon talk about how hot the mom is. My Hubby concurs.
Next we have more auditions for All My Children. Did I accidentally switch the channel to SoapNet? Poor Olivia’s eyes are crossed, literally.
Ryan introduces us to a very pretty gal who is letting her fate rest in the judges’ hands. She talks about giving up her dream of a singing career and doing something weird like going to school. Thank goodness she can sing, cuz we wouldn’t want her to do that. She is actually very very good and I can imagine her in the Top Ten. She cries when Simon tells her she is great and he likes her a lot.
Commercials… quick question – how the heck many more movies are going to use the “Unwritten” song in their previews?? Just askin’.
Next is a gal who says she is the female Taylor Hicks but she looks more like the sarcastic lady on Grey’s Anatomy and she sounds like crap. Dashed hopes and dreams abound as Ryan tries to offer comfort to the talentless. In the background, Taylor sings the “proud” song and it is all very mock-tender.
Finally! Ryan interviews a sane person who is a background singer. He is very handsome and polished and sings “Always on my Mind” with absolute perfection. The ladies are over the moon, and Simon pronounces him the best of the day. Quote of the night from Simon: “You have a likeability about you which is something you and I share.” Ba-da-boom.
Hey, it’s the arrogant ladies man from last year who cried like a baby when he got cut in Ho’wood. He has better hair this year, but that Brokeback singing just ain’t for me, dawg. Simon says he is forgettable but Olivia thinks he is sweet, so he makes it through again.
Next we meet a senior citizen who petitioned to be able to audition irregardless of his advanced age. He sings a song for his lady who just passed away from cancer and it is very sweet and sad and everyone is crying.
We see quick takes of good folks who made it through and we are on Day 2. Ryan has to break up a couple who are making out in the hallway. It’s like High School Musical meets The Parkers only worse.
For absolutely no reason other than to waste time, we are forced to watch more kisses and talk of “bling bling” from Humpdella and her Metal-toothed bo'friend. Neither of them can sing worth a lick. Simon rats the girl out to her fella that she flirted shamelessly with him. It’s like watching a bad episode of Love Connection.
Commercials… note to self: Add Season 1 of Prison Break to the Netflix queue; those guys are so hunk-a-delic.
“No notes in tune” for the next few contestants as Ryan tries once again to make intelligent conversation with crazy people while keeping a straight face. We have a guy who looks like William Hurt a thousand years ago and he sounds like fighting cats. Simon chastises him for not being serious. It is painful and goes on way too long, and even longer when Simon finds the opportunity to further mock and humiliate. Seems that the cat-fight-singing guy took vocal lessons from a DVD-set that Randy and Paula produced. Didn’t someone break that DVD set on the street last season in a fit of rage?
My faves from L.A. are the pretty “my destiny is in your hands” gal, Alaina. And the good-looking background singer that brought Paula out of her coma - Brandon.
Next week is the final stop on the audition tour, thank the merciful heavens. See y'all in Texas...
Ryan recaps the season thus far and we are reminded that the gorgeous and talented Kat McPhee is from L.A. Yep, AI is in their own backyard, lookin’ for luv, er… great talent. The judges come draggin’ in, and yay we have a guest judge tonight to mix things up a bit.
Flashbacks of Olivia Newton-John prove that you can be beautiful and dorky at the same time. She still looks very good and makes cute banter with Simon. Hope to God that Paula doesn’t pull her diva-tude like she normally does when there is a female guest judge.
First up, it’s a K-Fed look-alike, cuz we have not had enough of him lately. Heavy sigh. We can tell already that TIIC has run out of ideas. There is way too much time wasted on this Elimidate reject. Maybe Britney needs a loony-bin backup dancer.
There should be a special Emmy award given to Ryan every year called “Best Interaction with Insane People.” Bless his heart, how does he keep a straight face??
Next, it is Forrest’s best friend Bubba who is at least one taco shy of a combo plate. His singing is painful and at least the judges wait until he leaves the room to laugh at him.
Ryan says that Hollywood is getting Hollyweird. (More news from the file marked DUH.) Proof of that is the “peanut butter jelly time” guy. Thank you so much, now THAT song is stuck in my head for the rest of the night.
Now we have a half-dressed gal from a show biz background whose mom toured with Dean Martin. My Hubby says that this gal looks like a “hoochie-mama” but that her mother is pretty. I hope for the best but cover my ears when the girl starts singing. Simon says that she sounds like Cher after she’s been to the dentist. Very embarrassing when the chick gets on her knees and begs. Too bad The OC is being cancelled; she could use this footage for an audition tape. Then the mom comes in to fuss at the judges and it is so funny when Randy and Simon talk about how hot the mom is. My Hubby concurs.
Next we have more auditions for All My Children. Did I accidentally switch the channel to SoapNet? Poor Olivia’s eyes are crossed, literally.
Ryan introduces us to a very pretty gal who is letting her fate rest in the judges’ hands. She talks about giving up her dream of a singing career and doing something weird like going to school. Thank goodness she can sing, cuz we wouldn’t want her to do that. She is actually very very good and I can imagine her in the Top Ten. She cries when Simon tells her she is great and he likes her a lot.
Commercials… quick question – how the heck many more movies are going to use the “Unwritten” song in their previews?? Just askin’.
Next is a gal who says she is the female Taylor Hicks but she looks more like the sarcastic lady on Grey’s Anatomy and she sounds like crap. Dashed hopes and dreams abound as Ryan tries to offer comfort to the talentless. In the background, Taylor sings the “proud” song and it is all very mock-tender.
Finally! Ryan interviews a sane person who is a background singer. He is very handsome and polished and sings “Always on my Mind” with absolute perfection. The ladies are over the moon, and Simon pronounces him the best of the day. Quote of the night from Simon: “You have a likeability about you which is something you and I share.” Ba-da-boom.
Hey, it’s the arrogant ladies man from last year who cried like a baby when he got cut in Ho’wood. He has better hair this year, but that Brokeback singing just ain’t for me, dawg. Simon says he is forgettable but Olivia thinks he is sweet, so he makes it through again.
Next we meet a senior citizen who petitioned to be able to audition irregardless of his advanced age. He sings a song for his lady who just passed away from cancer and it is very sweet and sad and everyone is crying.
We see quick takes of good folks who made it through and we are on Day 2. Ryan has to break up a couple who are making out in the hallway. It’s like High School Musical meets The Parkers only worse.
For absolutely no reason other than to waste time, we are forced to watch more kisses and talk of “bling bling” from Humpdella and her Metal-toothed bo'friend. Neither of them can sing worth a lick. Simon rats the girl out to her fella that she flirted shamelessly with him. It’s like watching a bad episode of Love Connection.
Commercials… note to self: Add Season 1 of Prison Break to the Netflix queue; those guys are so hunk-a-delic.
“No notes in tune” for the next few contestants as Ryan tries once again to make intelligent conversation with crazy people while keeping a straight face. We have a guy who looks like William Hurt a thousand years ago and he sounds like fighting cats. Simon chastises him for not being serious. It is painful and goes on way too long, and even longer when Simon finds the opportunity to further mock and humiliate. Seems that the cat-fight-singing guy took vocal lessons from a DVD-set that Randy and Paula produced. Didn’t someone break that DVD set on the street last season in a fit of rage?
My faves from L.A. are the pretty “my destiny is in your hands” gal, Alaina. And the good-looking background singer that brought Paula out of her coma - Brandon.
Next week is the final stop on the audition tour, thank the merciful heavens. See y'all in Texas...
No comments:
Post a Comment