One of the Top Five Goes “Home Before Dark”

April 30, 2008

Ryan reminds us that YES we are on LIVE TV, so Paula please behave.

He also says that we know more about these five contestants than any others before, but he does not add that it’s due to the power of the internet. There are 26,700,000 American Idol hits on Google alone.

The show will be turtle-paced tonight instead of the quick-like-a-bunny speed of last night. Hopefully this switch back to basics will be calm for the Abdulster.

Unfortunately, the group medley of Neil Diamond songs involves musical chairs, off-beat swaying and pointy poises galore. The singing is decent but these contestants need to ask the emperor for a new groove. (That is still my favorite Disney movie.)

Constantine and Gina are in the audience to talk about their co-hosting jobs on FOX Reality's American Idol Extra. Ryan should not be worried. And was that Ace Young?? How you doin’?

Recap … Brooke was a believer, Cook was alive, Jason was honey sweet, Syesha was to blame, good times never seemed so good for Archie, Syesha thanks the Lord for the night time, Brooke was not a nightmare she said, Jason danced until the night became a brand new day, Archie came to America today, Cook was all we ever needed on the show ever. Neil was impressed with the poise and the talent of these five kids.

Very Serious Ryan puts the Paula rumors to rest once and for all, and makes us all feel ashamed for ever having doubts about her sincerity, earnestness and complete and utter sainthood. She is not taking meds prescribed by Dr. House and Simon will kick Terri to the curb for Paula any minute. So hush up everybody, ‘kay?

Results time… Jason is up first and admits that he knew nothing of Neil Diamond, and yes he learned his songs in five minutes. No matter than he sucked so very badly last night; he is safe.

Archie is next and has to hear all of the praise of zones and bombs and being clever. He actually looks surprised when told he is safe, silly boy. I found a clip from Britain’s Got Talent of a little boy named Charlie Green. He is only 10 but is a superstar in the making; he has the adorableness factor of our Little David, so he will go far.

Speaking of Britain, an English lady tells us all about So You Think You Can Dance, which will resume in three weeks. Watching the clip is like being trapped in a nightmare with that shouting lady and Nigel with Bee Gees hair. Oh and the extremely weird dancing that crazillions of people seem to like. Not my cup of tea but whatev.

The “design a Coke cup” winner is announced and Randy models the cup. Hope Paula didn’t pee in it. Is there anything that this show won’t pimp?

More results… Rocker Dave is up next and he tries to act nervous and even cites how last week Simon’s praise was “the kiss of death” for Carly. My Kid and I are glad that he is safe.

Not surprisingly, Syesha and Brooke are the final two standing. Ryan rehashes for about seventy thousand years all things Mercado and White. It is not even the bottom of the hour yet, so of course we won’t know which one of them is going home for awhile.

Commercial interludes… Jaclyn Smith is still the most beautiful woman in the world at like, a thousand.

Guest singer Natasha Bedingfield looks weirdly like Brooke White with false eyelashes and has a good voice for a contemporary artist. (So many of them just aren’t known for good singing these days and we all know it.) Too bad the song she is singing is rather annoying and not as good as “Unwritten.” My Kid and I try to remember how many movies, TV shows and commercials that song has been in and quit counting after 1496. Natasha is lovely and British and wants to go to the prom with Little David.

Holy crap, the stupid viewer calls are back. They make Paula talk about how nice and wonderful and Mary Poppins like she is. How dare we ever think differently! Simon speaks to an old flame from boyhood for approximately 10,000,000 years. You know, when he’s relaxed and smiling, he is kinda attractive. Just sayin’.

Next, the Ford Hybrid fake-mercial is set to “Catch the Wind” with lots of “earth day” ado. All of the contestants look really good and the special affects are cool. I miss Kermit though.

Neil Diamond performs a song from his latest recording Home Before Dark called “Amazing Grace.” It’s not the version that we and Kristy Lee Cook know but a different one. It’s not even like Todd Agnew or Chris Tomlin and definitely not like we do at church. Actually the title of Neil’s song must be “Pretty Amazing Grace” because he sings that over and over. It’s okay but I’m not moved.

Mr. Diamond talks to Seacrest about the mean judges and awesome contestants and encourages them to stick with music and never ever stop. He is a really cool guy.

Ryan brings Syesha and Brooke back to the stage and we quickly learn that Brooke is the one going home. She is already resolved and the tears are already rolling.

Brooke’s “celebrate me home” video reminds us of when Simon promised to bring her to the dark side, and it’s a good thing he never did. We see her when she was a nanny for adorable twin baby girls. And trying to fix the crazy Princess Leia girl’s hair pieces. She is a very talented lady indeed with a cute curly-haired hubby to go home to.

Babbly Brooke is running out of time but does get to say “thank you” to everybody before trying to sing “I Am I Said.” She fumbles and bumbles around the lyrics, and the other four quickly join her on stage. Finally she is finished and can now go have the nervous breakdown she so richly deserves.

As far as the lyric change that Neil suggested - even My Kid notices that Arizona and California are two states beside each other, not shores apart. She says the song should now be “I Am Geographically Incorrect.” Silly girl, that’s way too many syllables.

Not sure what is up for the final four next week but I have heard that it’s songs from the Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame.

‘Til next week… in the meantime hopefully no one will pose for Vanity Fair.

The Aftermath of Abdul

Hey hey hey Paula. You so crazy.

Today, for the first time, I am embarrassed to be a fan of American Idol. Much as I love/loathe this very favorite show, it makes me ridiculously sad. It’s like standing on the shore as a ship goes down and all you can do is watch it sink.

If you haven’t heard: last night the contestants each performed two Neil Diamond songs. The judges were supposed to give their reviews after the second song was completed. For some reason, Ryan (or Nigel) changed the format and asked for the judges’ opinions after the singers had done their first songs.

Paula proceeded to give her critique of Jason’s first AND second song, although he HAD NOT done the second one yet. So the question last night was – crystal ball or crystal meth??

What flabbergasts me the most is the LIE. After floundering, Paula said that she was reading notes that she took for David Cook. This is blatantly not true, but she is still sticking to this story.

Internet chatter reveals that more than likely she took those notes on Jason’s second song during dress rehearsal. As a permanent resident of La La Land, she simply forgot that she wasn’t supposed to have seen it yet and rattled off the review of the second song. When she had the AHA moment, she had to cover her tracks. She did not do a credible job but then again “credible” and “Paula” are not two words that usually go together even on a good day.

What will happen on the show tonight is anyone’s guess. Randy and Simon both tried to pull her out of the fire. There’s no telling how many defibrillators it took to get Nigel’s heart started again.

My wish is that they would just own up to what really happened and stop treating the viewing audience like we just fell off the turnip truck.

The silver lining? Miley is off the front page for five minutes. Thank God for that…

Top Five "Diamond"s in the Rough

April 29, 2008

Right off the bat, without even naming any names, Ryan alludes to “the incident” from last week. You remember Brookegate, right? The consensus of the Idol judiciary committee is that she should forever and always hold her head in shame. I hope she doesn’t.

So this week features Neil Diamond as the coach/mentor and each contestant will sing two songs from his catalog. The only record of his that I ever bought was the duet with Barbra Streisand called “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers.” It was during her “Songbird” days and she was awesome then. But I digress…

Ryan looks like Heat Miser as he gloats about Carly watching from home tonight. Randy has Coke-bottle glasses, Paula has a pretty hairdo and Simon has come undone.

However will they cram 10 songs, Neil’s coaching, judge banter, and iTunes plugging into one hour? We shall see if Seacrest can facilitate.

The Jazz Singer himself, Neil Diamond has been in the music industry for at least one hundred thousand years. This “model of longevity” looks very good for his age and he still likes shiny shirts.

Because of time constraints, the format tonight will be as follows: the contestants will be shown in their practice session with Neil and he will give his obligatory comment. Then they’ll sing their first song. The judges will only critique after the second songs are performed. That is the plan at least.

Here is an idea: why not make this episode an hour and a half and make tomorrow’s elimination show a half hour? Oh, right. That makes too much common sense; it’d never work.

Up first in the spot of doom, is dreadlocked folkster Jason. He continues to be a batty, loveable screw-up. He’s like both Laverne and Shirley rolled into one, but guy-shaped. Neil seriously hopes that he gets his sheyat together before he hits the stage. Jason’s first song is “Forever in Blue Jeans,” which he performs while strumming the guitar. He does exactly the Jason-like thing as always – pretty eyes, great smile, gorgeous face, pleasant voice, laid-back persona. Can’t help but wonder when the umbrella drink will arrive at my table though.

Ryan and Rocker Dave hit the stools and chat about Ryan’s childhood and singing with hairbrushes and gay stuff like that. David seems to really want to be elsewhere. Neil is impressed with our Mr. Cook and even got goosebumps. Dave’s first song is “I’m Alive,” which he rocks out while seeming to play the electric guitar. For those who are wondering what the AC on his jacket means, it’s for his brother Adam. David sounds just as great as always and is sporting an asymmetrical haircut that looks straight out of Japanese anime.

No do-overs for Ms. Brooke tonight, nosiree. Neil advises her to change a lyric (from New York to Arizona) but she seems unsure. He says he was “pleasantly surprised” by her and we all have our fingers crossed. In a rare moment, Brooke rocks out to “I’m a Believer” while playing guitar. She sounds okay but now we remember why her rocking moments are so unusual. Brooke White and rock-n-roll go together like peanut butter and tuna fish. She looks pretty tonight though and much more relaxed. Hey, it’s all gravy from here, right?

Ryan pimps out iTunes and how we can “own a piece of Archuleta,” all the while laughing at a sign in the audience that says My Husband Has a Man Crush on Seacrest. Ewww. Back to Little David, in the practice session with Neil – he is ungainly and unsure and oh so giddy. Neil calls him a “prodigy” which is true enough. His first song is “Sweet Caroline,” which is what Carly would have performed if she was here tonight. Archie does an awesome, wind-up job as always. The girls go wild when he hits the “touching me/touching you” lyric.

The money spot tonight goes to Syesha, who is excited about doing a “mini concert” this evening. Neil likes her very much and even asks for a hug. The first song she does tonight is “Hello Again.” She starts while sitting in front of the mosh pit of waving hands. Last week while lounging on the piano she had an excuse to be barefoot. No piano tonight but no shoes either. Hello? Paul Kim? Again? At any rate, Syesha is beautiful in a simple dress, and we’ve all been wondering what happened to the McPhee/Scarnato hair extensions. Now we know.

Because Ryan likes to play mind games with the judges (and the viewers also), he decides to poll them now instead of later for their opinions of the five singers thus far. This proves way too much to handle for Paula who has a meltdown moment and already has Jason’s SECOND critique prepared. No, they haven’t performed their second songs yet, so there seems to be some loopiness afoot. And abreast. I think she got ahead, heh. (Somebody stop me!) Paula blubbers and fibs that she was reading her notes on David Cook. Riiiight. And Mulder got his sister Samantha back from the aliens.

Finally, Simon gives all five of them a spanking and stern warning that they had better STEP UP their game. Or else he will turn the car around and there will be no ice cream for anyone! I don’t think any of them did as poorly as he claims but that is why he is called a judge and I am called a fan.

Ryan is in fast-forward mode as we are only half-way done and it’s already five minutes past the bottom of the hour. Quick like a bunny, we get started with the second round.

For his second song, Jason is doing “September Morn,” which tonight becomes more like “mourn.” He is disconnected and seems to be fading before our very eyes. Could it be that he is tired of all these things of Idol and wants out? The screaming girls love him very much. The judges though, not so much. None of them particularly liked either of Jason’s performances tonight. Simon wants to know where the real Jason Castro went and who is this pod person that stands before us? (He’s out back with Woody and Matthew, dude.)

Crazy-haired Rocker Dave is up next and he’s jamming again, only this time on acoustic guitar. His version of “All I Really Need is You” is one of my favorite performances on the show ever. He took Neil Diamond and turned it into David Cook, and all three judges agree. Randy uses his favorite “hot” analogy, and Paula practically hands Rocker Dave the Idol crown five weeks early. Simon puts it all in perspective by reminding everyone that being able to spin an old song into something contemporary is what the show is about.

For Brooke’s encore, she is playing the piano and singing “I Am I Said.” This is a much better song choice for her and more in her niche. Her voice is stronger and she takes Neil’s advice to change the lyrics to say she’s from Arizona. Alas, AZ and L.A. aren’t “lost between two shores” so it’s kinda silly. The judges don’t seem to mind and think she did a nice job. Paula likes her vulnerability, and Simon is glad that this Brooke is back. We do, even though it feels like Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Butterworth are both pouring from the TV screen.

There is little doubt that if (God forbid) Kristy Lee Cook was still in the running, she would have chosen the next number, “America.” Instead, this song of immigration goes to Disney David. Although he seems to try to oversell the tune somewhat, of thee he sings of the sweet land of liberty. Randy loves him almost as much as the tweeners do because he is “in the zone.” Paula is in her happy place and cannot be disturbed. Simon praises him on the cleverness of song choice and wishes Carly or Michael were here for foreigner solidarity.

We have finally reached the end of the evening and it’s Syesha’s time to shine again. She is still shoeless but this time she is in up-tempo-mode with “Thank the Lord for the Night Time.” This is a swinging diddy and reminiscent of last week’s Broadway tune. Syesha is in her element once again and does a terrific job. Too little too late, the judges tell her that she is finally in the competition. They love her as a singer and an actress and how she comes alive in this genre. To her dismay, Simon predicts an exit for her tomorrow. Boo on Cowell.

Recap time… Jason is the worst of this crop by far. Rocker Dave makes us feel like we’ve turned the channel to VH1 already. His second song was absolutely great.

If there is any justice Jason will exit tomorrow. Since we know that he won’t, we should fear for Syesha, unless Simon only said those things to get sympathy votes for her. Stranger things have happened; just last week in fact.

Prediction for bottom two: Brooke and Jason with Brooke going home.

Most memorable quote ever:

Paula: Oh my God, I thought you sang twice!
Ryan: Paula, you’re seeing the future baby, you’re seeing the future.

Until tomorrow, when Paula takes the whole pill and one contestant will be “Song Sung Blue.” Also that Natasha chick that sings the Pantene shampoo commercial jingle will be performing.

Thank you Neil Diamond; hopefully your new album will sell a crazillion copies when it’s released next week.

Guess Who???

The above is a photograph of...

A. Miley Cyrus' prom date
B. An extra on The Sopranos TV show
C. Long lost Kardashian brother
D. American Idol contestant Jason Castro

Hint: photo taken from idolbloglive

Carly Smithson, Lovely Irish Lass

Practically from the moment that season seven began, Carly Smithson (née Hennessy) has had a cloud of controversy over her pretty Irish head. A few years ago, when Carly was in her teens, she recorded an album called Ultimate High. The fact that it was not successful was well publicized at the time.

This season was not her first AI “rodeo” either. She auditioned a couple years ago but could not compete due to visa issues. Also, there were many AI fans who felt that Carly was a “plant” and her prior recording experience should cause her to be disqualified.

Throughout the entire season, Carly has maintained her dignity despite the hullabaloo. Her talent speaks for itself. She is an amazing singer and very much deserved her time on the show.

No matter the past failures, Carly’s time on American Idol was well spent. As the judges said after her ousting Wednesday night, she should be proud of herself.

From her AI home page:

Q: Do you have any lucky charms?
A: Are you serious? I'm Irish. I'm sure I do.

In her AOL interview she says that she was upbeat about her exit: “I feel like American Idol has given me such a gift, you know, such a platform to launch myself off of. And no more theme songs! I'm actually not that sad to be leaving. I enjoyed every minute thoroughly.”

Here is one mystery solved -
Q: What is the significance of your Amy Winehouse tattoo?
A: It's a geisha. It looks nothing like Amy Winehouse. It's just not colored in. It's actually been on my arm for two years before she even came out so when it's colored in you'll all understand. But it's so funny, even Andrew Lloyd Weber said, "Oh look you have Amy Winehouse on your arm."

Quote from her EW interview: “I listen to Lynyrd Skynyrd all day, and I drive a truck. I'm hardly going to go out and give a pop performance. That's just not who I am. I always have a little bit of an edge to what I do.”

Keeping in touch... Carly’s AI page and wikipedia page.

One “Superstar” Too Many

April 23, 2008

No matter who or where you are today, you can make this claim: “I did not do a restart of my Broadway-by-way-of-Madonna song in front of 38 crazillion people on LIVE television.” Well, unless your name is Brooke White…

Oh how the internet is all abuzz about America’s favorite nanny and her this-close to meltdown moment. It seems that fans are divided into two camps: How Brave and How Foolish.

Sometimes I think folks watch Idol the same way they watch car races – for the anticipation of the crash into the wall. As an extreme AI fan, I like to think that I do not watch for this reason, but hey. Just human after all, so who knows.

Anyways, tonight will tell the tale… First Ryan kisses both corseted Paula and appalled Simon (ewww) and then introduces the final six and Andrew Lloyd Webber.

The group song tonight is (what else), a ballad called “All I Ask of You.” This is the song that Carly was going to do last night but Sir Webber talked her out of it. Have to say that the six contestants do a much better job on this song than the Mariah mess last week. Andrew plays the piano for them and thankfully there is no dancing involved.

Crazy how the finger of fate is so fickle… as always, I have changed my mind about these last six singers at least a thousand times. Am completely over Castro and his Spicoli-ness. Am mostly over Disney’s HSM Archie. Have become a Syesha fan overnight. Have grown used to Carly’s tats and think she’s adorable. I almost like Rocker Dave in a Daughtry way. Most of all, I am so ready for Brooke to go back to babysitting. All six of these kids are in the same boat week after week yet she’s the only one who can’t seem to keep up with the rowing.

Next there’s a plug for the American Idol summer tour. My Kid really wants to go this year, just for Rocker Dave and Jason. I am thinking that we will hit the Sonfest festival at Carowinds instead. Switchfoot rocks!

Recap time … “toughest night of the season” so says Randy. Syesha was fabulously Susie Diamond-like, Archie borrowed a skinny tie from the Rocker Cook Collection, Jason had no memory of the wedding Simon was speaking of, Brooke called a much-publicized mulligan, Carly rocked out while wearing a couch cover from the 60s, and Dave cooked the best music of the whole night.

Ryan and Andrew sit on the chat stools and talk about the contestants. Awkwardly enough, all six are sitting right behind them on the stage. At least mostly good things are being said and they’re not talking about them behind their backs, but in front of them. Funny moment when ALW says that the song he’d write for Paula/Simon would be either “Time to Say Good-bye” or “How Can I Say I Miss You if You Won’t Go Away.”

This week’s Ford-mercial is a hodgepodge of punk superhero stunt car drivers and the non-Danny Noriega version of “Tainted Love.” All while paying homage to A-HA, a band you know if you are old like me.

President and First Lady Bush do a “Thank You America” video for the 65 million dollars raised on Idol Gives Back to help poor folk. Nice red tie, W.

It’s time for some voting results… only two metal stools tonight. First up, both Davids are called to the stage. Because we have so very much time to fill, Ryan goes on for a hundred years about “feelings” and other next-on-Dr.-Phil time-wasting. Simon almost chokes on a Certs. No surprise, both of our Davids are safe.

Interlude… I really want to see Will Smith’s movie Hancock.

One of the good things to come about this season of AI is the updates on Idols Past. Keeping with the Broadway theme, we are reminded that Diana DeGarmo, Fantasia, and LaKisha Jones have all been on the Great White Way.

We also get up-close-and-personal visits with Tamyra from season one and Clay from season two. They are both performing on stage and are successful and happy. Good on them both for their work in the plays Rent and Spamalot. The glitter has not rubbed off and Broadway is not dark tonight.

The winner of the British version of an Idol-like show is here tonight to perform. Simon makes a big deal out of discovering Leona Lewis but he does give a couple of shout-outs to others as well. Leona is lovely, has a great voice and the pop tune she sings is very catchy. It’s a song that gets stuck in your head that’s for sure; we’ll be “cut open” for the rest of the night. My Hubby thinks that she is da bomb, probably because her dress is see-through.

Dim the lights again… Brooke and Syesha are called to the stage next. This one should be a no-brainer but we all know how this show goes. Much babbling and pity-partying later we find out that Brooke is safe and Syesha is bottom 2. If Sye is ready to kick butt and shoot daggers I don’t blame her. I’d poke somebody in the eye with that ‘fro if I was her, hmmmph. More curse of going first.

No viewer calls this week! Yay!!! Maybe TIIC really are smarter than a 5th grader.

Smiling Carly and bored Jason are the final two standing. Carly gave her Simon tee shirt to some kid. Jason is as nervous as Cats in a room full of rocking chairs with no memory. Nobody went to the ghastly pretend wedding because no one is allowed outside past curfew. Duh, wuh, muh, Jason is freakin’ safe. Carly joins Syesha in the B2.

Simon gets all ‘splainy: Jason is “charming” and Brooke is “human;” that’s why they are both safe tonight. The real reason? America doesn’t like tattooed foreigners and wannabe-divas, no matter how great they are at show tunes.

Ryan looks at the clock, sees that we still have like half a decade of time left and announces that both Carly and Syesha will be singing their songs from last night. This is actually a good thing; they both did outstanding jobs so this time do-overs are accepted here.

Carly sings the “Superstar” song again. We just got home from church and are still feeling the spirit and in no mood for sacrilege. Her voice is amazing but I really really hate this song and what it means.

It is Syesha’s turn to shine again next, but minus the sexy red dress and piano lounging. She shows diverse Taylor-ness by wandering into the audience. Rude Ryan and Carly are shown just chatting away. Syesha sings well but the overall performance was much better last night, and she ends it with a WTH shrug.

Still so much time to go and so little left to do… so Ryan oh so slowly polls the judges, every single one of the mosh pit girls, each family member in the audience tonight and Alexandrea’s great grandma. All this just to learn that American Idol is a popularity contest. Noooooo.

This bottom two is unacceptable to me, but that’s how the cookie bounces. (I like to mix idioms.) Although it’s a bummer that Carly is the one leaving, I am glad that Syesha gets to stay. As I have said sixty times already, she really did do great last night.

Carly is all grins and there are no tears here; maybe more a sense of relief. Can’t help but wonder if the giggling school-girl act with the tee shirt was her downfall last night. Or perhaps I am not the only one who loathes that particular ALW song?

At any rate, we see from Carly’s “celebrate me home” video how much she has changed since her first audition. She is a lovely Irish lass with a great voice and infectious personality. The judges all agree that we’ve not seen the last of her and they all wish her Godspeed.

Quotes:

A.L. Webber (re: Brooke’s re-start): “Losing your way happens to the best people. It happened a few times on the panel last night.”

David Cook (about his ALW show tune): “I figured what could be more unpredictable than doing the song as it was written.”

Simon: “I apologize for giving you a compliment last night. Kiss of death. But let me tell you, Carly, you can leave with your head held high.”

Next week is only a slight notch up from Broadway (at least by my radar) – Neil Diamond. ‘Til then we’ll “keep bleeding keep keep bleeding love…”

DANG IT BOBBY!

The Top 6 Take on Broadway

April 22, 2008

Happy Earth Day everybody. Is anyone else over all this tree-hugging stuff already? No? Maybe it’s just me then.

Another of my non-favorite things is on our favorite show tonight – Broadway tunes. Two words: Whoop. Eeee.

The only thing I know about Andrew Lloyd Webber is that he was Mr. Sheffield’s nemesis on The Nanny. Perhaps I’ll be enlightened this evening.

While I am on the wagon train of beyotchiness, here’s another thing - I miss Casual Day Ryan. He is all suited up on every single episode now. At least he still has a great sense of humor and is open to band-leading lessons from Rickey.

Lord Webber has written music for plays such as Cats, Evita and Phantom of the Opera. He has won every award on this planet. During his video, he states that he enjoys working with young people and has coached similar up-and-comers in Britain.

Randy and Simon believe that these are going to be tough songs to sing, and Andrew is in the audience tonight. But no pressure. Ryan reminds Simon that if in tonight’s critiques he says that someone is “Broadway,” it will be taken as a positive instead of derogative review.

First up is Syesha who is excited as all get out that they are finally doing something that she can show some personality on. Andrew thinks that she can be funny and witty and non Whitney-like for a change. Tonight she looks absolutely stunningly beautiful and she’s most definitely in her niche. She sings a song called “One Rock and Roll Too Many” and this is the very best Syesha Mercado ever. I am a Syesha convert! This young lady is a star in her own right and she OWNS the stage. Randy agrees that she is “in her element” and could be a Broadway star right now. Paula says that she “brought the house down.” Simon tells her that she’s “very sexy” and comfortable in this genre. Hopefully the dreaded Going First curse will not follow Syesha tomorrow night.

Jason gets the chat stools with Ryan and they talk about when Jason used to play drums. He knows naught of this Broadway biz and is like Uhhh and Wuhh. Andrew says that he can’t really grasp a dude with dreadlocks singing “Memory,” but here we are. Our lovable long-haired boy does his very best with what he has, meaning that he is just the same today as every other day. It’s a bit breathy and boring but acceptable for him. Randy says it was a “train wreck” musically and did not work at all. Paula thinks it was a “wise choice” because usually women sing this song. She compares it to Joe Cocker’s “You Are So Beautiful,” which prompts Randy to agree that Castro is indeed beautiful. Simon says that it was like a kid being forced to sing at a wedding which is kinda true.

The Nanny who is Not Fran Fine, Ms. Brooke is next. Andrew explains the song “You Must Love Me” from Evita to her, which makes her sing it better. He is impressed with her and says she is a “natural actress.” Brooke looks lovely tonight but is very nervous and out of her element. She messes up and starts over. Bless her heart, she gets better but flubs a couple more lyrics. Madonna, she is not. Randy liked her vulnerability but not her vocal. After a thousand year pause, Paula tells her that she should “never start and stop” but kudos on her emotional breakdown. Simon declares he loves Live TV, and picks up on the tension and the straining of her voice. He says that he would have done the same thing that she did, with the re-start. Poor Ryan says the show must go on.

Next on the chat stools with Ryan, is Little David. He gets big hugs from random teenage fans. Can you say uncomfortable? Andrew thinks that it’s rare for someone to do a different take on his songs and begs David to open his eyes when he sings. Tonight he sings a song called “Think of Me,” and we watch him very closely to make sure he doesn’t close his baby browns. The song is long and kinda boring but he sounds good, in his word-fumbling way. Randy calls him “Archie” and tells him that he is “the one to beat.” Paula pronounces it practically perfect in every way, like the Disney character that he is. Simon doesn’t think it was one of his best performances and plays the “forgettable” card. Although my affection for David has not waned (much), he seems to be robot-like these days.

It seems that Carly was going to sing a ballad this week, but Andrew put a stop to that nonsense with the quickness. He says with her big ol’ voice, she should do “Jesus Christ Superstar” and she agrees. Anyone who reads my ramblings knows that I am a die-hard fundamentalist Christian, so I have a problem with this musical. It depicts my Lord and Savior as “just a man” and He was more than that. Getting past that issue, I have to say that Carly sounds fabulous tonight. Randy agrees it was “definitely good” and that her outfit “is kinda fly.” Paula likes that it was “so unexpected.” Simon surprises the heck out of everyone by saying it was one of his favorite performances so far this evening. A delighted Carly holds up a Simon Loves Me (this week) tee shirt for the world to see.

Rocker Dave and Andrew seem to have a blast together during practice. Andrew says to pretend that he’s a gorgeous 17-year-old girl but Dave is like, ewww jail bait. The song he is performing is called “Music of the Night” and it’s another big bold ballad. Evidently there are no emo versions of this song out there, because David plays it pretty straightforward. He can do anything. Randy says it was an “amazing vocal performance” and I have to agree. Paula compliments how well-rounded he is and likes his “beautiful instrument.” Simon prefers his David Cook on the “gritty and raw side” (don’t we all) but says he made the most of it. Silly Ryan’s attempt at Broadway singing is actually not as awful as Castro’s. But please don’t quit your day job(s), okay Ryan?

Recap time… Both Brooke and Jason will most likely be in bottom three tomorrow. It would be a shame for Syesha to leave at this point. She was by far my favorite tonight. (Oops, hope I didn’t jinx her.)

Quotes from tonight:

Ryan: By the way Rickey, you’re conducting; you’re not a member of the Pussycat Dolls tonight.

Jason (about the song “Memory”): I didn’t know a CAT was singing it.

Andrew (to Rocker Dave): You’re supposed to be singing to the most gorgeous girl that you’ve ever seen in your life; regrettably I am not that person.

Very cool end to the show with the judges wearing Phantom of the Opera masks. ‘Til tomorrow when American Idol will just be a “memory” for one contestant.

Kristy Lee Cook, Country Singing Cowgirl

We were introduced to Kristy in the first audition episode of this season, in Philadelphia. She impressed the judges with her lovely rendition of “Amazing Grace,” and easily made it to the Hollywood round.

After making it into the Top 24, Kristy had a tough time with a round of flu that hit the contestants. Week after week passed with her being in the bottom three but she persevered.

Kristy is no stranger to show business. Prior to American Idol she was signed to Spears Superstars production company, and made a country music video for the song “Devoted.”

From her AI home page:
Favorite Quote: "Rope it, ride it, wrestle it, cowgirl it."

Q: Where do you draw inspiration from?
A: God. My family. My horses and dog.

From her EW exit interview:
EW: When you put that ''Kristy's seat'' sign on the bottom-three stools a few weeks back, you won me over with your sense of humor about yourself.
Kristy: Thanks. Some people didn't like it. They thought maybe I thought they weren't voting enough for me. I was trying to be myself and break the ice and be funny.

In her AOL interview Kristy says that she is glad that Brooke is still in the competition because she is one of her very best friends. About being in the bottom three: "After the first few times, I built up a stamina for it and got a little tougher."

Don’t cry for Kristy, as she has a bright future ahead of her. She plans to try for a country music career in Nashville. Also, her boyfriend Andy proposed to her after she was eliminated and they are planning a wedding for June of next year.

Keeping in touch... Kristy’s myspace page.

Kristy Lee Cook’s Hydrabrush commercial.

All That “Glitters” is Not Gold for One of the Final 7

April 16, 2008

Ever since I was a little girl, seven has been my favorite number. But for one contestant tonight, it will be unlucky indeed.

Ryan says that 36 million votes were cast, a record setter for this season. Weird how ratings are down but votes are up, which just means the ‘tweeners are multi-voting as usual.

The group song tonight is the Mariah/Boyz II Men hit “One Sweet Day,” and it starts out with weak solos from Jason and Kristy and just goes downhill from there. Someone is way off key and it’s so terrible that my little dog is trembling.

Commercials… Don’t Forget the Lyrics: Celebrity Edition featuring Kimberley Locke. Really now Kim?

Remember the songwriting contest last year? No? Me neither. But we still have time to vote for this year’s coronation song, and if it’s bad we have no one to blame but ourselves.

Recap time… everyone looked great at what Mariah called “boot camp.” Little David can sing anything and it’s da bomb, Carly can not live if living is without Simon’s jackassery, Kristy goes on forever and ever and will never leave this show, Brooke wails about dreams and heroes and hurt feelings, Syesha goes into melismatic overload with glittery hair, Jason does not want to cry when Ryan rips Simon’s poster at the luau, Rocker Dave will always be our baby (yeah baybee yeah.)

Because his bag of tricks is empty after the nasty stunt pulled on Michael last week, tonight Ryan has fun with group place setting. Don’t blame Ryan though, no sir, it’s all Nigel’s doing.

Jason is called first and they chat about the beach and how you can’t really surf with dreads, man. Jason is then asked to stand on the left of the stage.

Rocker Dave comes next and can not form words because he is still choked up about his brother’s visit, and why won’t Ryan just leave him the heck alone? Finally, he is asked to stand on the right.

Next up is Carly who tells Simon with a big smile that he is the meanest Grinch in all of Whoville. He claims that he really doesn’t have a heart that’s two sizes too small, and his harping is all for the good of Christmas and puppies and whatnot. Anyway, she joins Jason and they poke and giggle like siblings.

Ryan starts reading Kristy’s criticisms off the card before she can even get beside of him. He’s got to pull this show in on time, y’all. She huffs a bit and is over all this American Idol crap already. Just get the girl a role on The Hills: Oregon Edition. Kristy joins the Rocker Dave side; this either looks good for KLC or bad for David.

For this week’s Ford faux-mercial, the puppets, er Idols pretend to be marionettes miserably working in an office while singing “I Want to Break Free.” As an office worker who’s very happy in my job, I am kinda offended. Hmmmph.

Next MY MAN Elliott Yamin, just back from IGB-biz in Africa, performs the song “Free.” He is in full Frodo-hair mode and is rocking a long white scarf and velvet jacket. He is just as fabulous as always. When the song is over, he and Ryan chat about the recent loss of his mother Claudette. Season 5 fans will remember her as the adorable lady who was in the audience every week, cheering on her boy. Elliott says that she is still watching him and has “we miss you mom” written on his hand. He also thanks everyone for their condolences and wishes the current crop of contestants good luck.

Back to business – Syesha, who looks extremely gorgeous tonight but does not get a chance to speak, joins Jason and Carly.

Brooke comes out with hands-on-hips but she loves everyone especially vegetarians. Maybe she doesn’t love Simon anymore. Whatever, she joins Rocker Dave and Kristy.

Only Archuleta is standing. I hope that they are not stupid enough to do that Idol trick of making Little David choose between the two groups of three. We will have to wait and see for now because...

The asinine viewer calls are next. I can’t stand these anymore, so I offer My Kid five bucks to recap this segment. She declines so I am stuck with it, dangit. Even Ryan is embarrassed.

Here goes: Kristy Lee had a horse but she sold it to get on the show or something like that, bored now. All of the judges have heard of music even before American Idol was invented, and Paula has a big flower growing out of her neck.

More chuckles and laughs, and then Randy thinks that “Cold Hearted Snake” is the Paula song that best describes Simon. Mr. Cowell thinks he’s so smart with his witty repertoire, but he’s like Happy Bunny and really thinks everybody just sucks.

Finally, all of the women are glad to know that David Cook is single, (sigh) but chatter on the ‘net has him hooked up with some chick who’s a dancer and the cousin of Ross from Friends.

Scantily clad Mariah sings her latest single “Bye Bye,” and this is the longest song I have ever heard. The song title is very appropriate given that it’s an elimination show. Just not a fan of hers so can not remain objective. She has a good voice but so do crazillions of other people. Her chit-chat with fan-boy Ryan is such an eye roller. Holla!

Back to the stage … Little David is happier than he has ever been, however he’s caught in the middle of two groups of three.

Ryan waves his wand and switches Rocker Dave for Syesha. Now things seem to make more sense, as we have Brooke, KLC and Sye on one side and Rocker Dave, Jason and Carly on the other.

Now it’s time to make David choose and he pulls a Melinda Doolittle by just sitting down in the middle. Good for him and shame on Nigel for making them do this again this year. It got old by Bo Bice. (So irritating how TIIC think we are all window-lickers.)

Little David refuses to budge even when Ryan points to the trio of Rocker Dave, Carly and Jason. So Dave and Jason sit down beside David; Carly can’t because her skirt is too tight. It’s tough being a girl, huh? They finally get to go sit on the cushy couches.

So finally we officially know the B3 is Syesha, Kristy and Brooke. Then Syesha is sent to the couches of safety.

Several awkward moments later, after judge panderings and ponderings and Kristy snarking that ha ha she made it past the top ten, we learn that Brooke is safe.

Fr-fi-eak-in-ally, cage-fighting Kristy Lee Cook is going home. She thanks America and Lee Greenwood for that song and Ryan once again begs for the horse back.

Her farewell montage reminds us of the lost pony, the long legs, the schizoid straight hair/wavy hair, her very pretty face and so-so voice. After “Amazing Grace” it was all downhill for Kristy vocally.

Kristy sits on the judges’ table and does the first verse of her good-bye song directly to Simon. Very fitting lyrics: Those days of love are gone/Our time is through.

After what seems like “Forever,” she is at last off my TV. Thank you America, even though it’s still too late for Michael. Oh yeah, so switching to sarcastic voice: gee THANKS America.

Quotes:

Kristy: “Simon can be a butt at some times. But hey that’s Simon Cowell.”
Ryan: “That’s right; no comment here.”

(Asked about the first album he ever bought)
Ryan: “What did they have back then?”
Randy: “Waaaaay back then…”
Simon: “Careful. I was ten-years-old and it was Pauler Abdul’s 'Straight Up.'”

For the record, per wikipedia: Paula is 45, Simon is 48, and Randy is 51. They all have record albums older than Ryan who is a mere 33.

‘Til next time when the theme week is songs from that Webber guy.

Can the Final 7 “Carey” Mariah Night?

April 15, 2008

For the first time this season, I am not looking forward to watching my favorite show. Not just because it’s Tax Day, or that Michael Johns is gone, or that KLC is still there. Mostly because I am not a Mariah Carey fan. The only song of hers that I remotely like is her first hit “Vision of Love” and that is the song that Michael would have performed if he had made it to this week.

Even Ryan says that he doesn’t understand how the awesome Aussie was ousted. Oh well, the show (and my blogging) must go on, even though I am flying solo tonight. My Kid and Hubby are both otherwise engaged.

Everyone looks marvelous tonight – Ryan, the judges, and all seven contestants. And wow, when did Archuleta become a man?? Gee, I feel pervy.

We are treated to the Mariah montage highlighting her amazing voice, fabulous bod, slutty outfits and self-inflated ego. No mention of the Sugar Daddy who made it all possible though. She does give a shout-out to Randy which is cool. Mariah also seems at ease and friendly with the contestants, so we have to give her credit for that.

Ryan and Randy chat about how tonight’s theme goes against the grain of what the judges usually want from the singers. They usually warn against taking on the divas, but here we are. As with all guest coaches, Mariah will be shown chatting with the contestants and saying something positive about each one.

First up is Little David, who is looking astonishingly hot tonight in black leather pants and an abstract shirt. In the video, Mariah tells him that if he wants to go into the falsetto she wouldn’t be mad at him. So that’s who Randy got that “mad at cha” stuff from. This evening David is singing “When You Believe,” which is not a song I am familiar with. No matter though, because he OWNS this song now. He is incredible and shows his range from high voice to low. What an awesome kid! Can I be a mosh pit girl? Yeah, I know, too old. Randy says that he can sing anything and that was “da bomb.” Paula tells David that he made everybody proud. Simon was not surprised that David chose that song and thinks he did it well. Ryan goes TMI with David about his eating habits, just to remind us that he’s just a human being after all.

Carly and Ryan take the stools to chat about “MJ” and how much she misses her Friend from Down Under. Carly has a serious fan-girl moment with Mariah, but they seem to get along well during rehearsal. Tonight she has finally donned an outfit that looks flattering and covers her tats. She is a lovely girl and her rendition of the classic “Without You” is very good. However, no one (not even Nilsson or Mariah) can do this song as good as the Heart version from their Magazine album. Per chatter on the ‘net, Simon suggested to Carly that she perform this song tonight. Randy tells her it was pretty good but she needs to believe in herself more. Paula talks about restraints and swells or some such. Simon bursts everyone’s bubble by telling Carly that she didn’t pull it off. Ryan asks Carly something about pretending to be singing back at the bar. Foreshadow much?

When Syesha meets Mariah, we find out what happens when famous-diva and wannabe-diva collide. It’s vocal coaching with kid gloves and fake air kisses. A thousand gallons of yuck, that’s what happens. Ms. Carey and Ms. Mercado have more in common than they realize; they both love themselves more than anyone else ever could. Tonight Syesha sings a song called “Vanishing,” another one I have never heard. She looks incredibly beautiful tonight, even though the ‘fro is out to here. She takes the glory notes out and stomps them and them kilts ‘em. Randy reminds her that she always takes the hardest song and she did good by it this time. Paula tells her she’s smart to pick a lesser known song and did a beautiful job. Simon disagrees about the obscure song choice but she did well technically. Syesha shoots daggers from her eyes but smiles real big and it’s scary to watch.

Brooke gets the stools with Ryan Chat Time next. She looks the best ever, in a sparkly dress and wild curly hair. They talk about how contrary to rumors (stupid TMZ!) there was NOT a cardboard cut-out of Brooke at her sister’s wedding. Mariah says that Brooke is genuine, the real deal. No cardboard. Tonight Brooke plays piano and sings “Hero” in the same way that she always does – breathless, heartfelt, plaintive. As she has done with other diva-like songs, Brooke makes this one her own and does an excellent job. I like her version so much better, as it is minus the Mariah-like melisma. Randy liked the singer-songwriter vibe she brought to it, and I wish she would NOT babble. Paula enjoyed the “unplugged” version and tells her not to stress on the off notes. Simon compares her to burgers without meat, and Brooke must be vegan because she looks confused.

America’s favorite cowgirl, Kristy is up next, in the spot where Michael should be. Or Amanda. Or Hernandez. Or Alaina. Or etc. etc. During practice, Mariah says that Kristy gave her goosebumps, which of course the country girl milks for all it’s worth. KLC performs yet another song that I have never heard, “Forever.” She looks gorgeous tonight with Brigitte Bardot hair, but alas she does not sound nearly as well on stage as she did during rehearsal with Ms. Carey. It’s not her most horrible performance but still not great. But hey, Pickler won a CMT award, so anything can happen. Randy didn’t think it was amazing either but tells her she stepped it up. Paula interrupts him to tell Kristy how incredibly clever she is and that she blew her away. Kristy mentions that she gave Mariah chills, but Simon says that she didn’t give him chills, and that it was whiny.

Ryan borrows a pimp hat and sits with Ramiele in the audience before introducing Rocker Dave. His cancer-stricken brother is in the audience tonight as well, courtesy of medical transportation. In the video, Mariah expresses concern about the changes that Dave is making to “Always Be My Baby,” probably because she’s never heard the word “emo” before. I enjoy Dave’s performances very much but tonight his voice seems to be too low at first. When he kicks it up a notch though, it sounds very good, then as the song progresses it’s incredible. Next to the Cook family, the judges are his biggest fans tonight. Randy gives him a standing ovation and says it was the most brilliant act of the season. Paula pronounces that his version of the Mariah song could be on a movie soundtrack. Simon praises David as well, and our rocker has tears in his eyes. So do I.

Mr. Seacrest is in rare form tonight, although I don’t blame him for attacking the Simon for President sign. He finally introduces Jason who is in the money spot, and is adorably exactly the same tonight as always. Mariah seems to get a good vibe from Jason; she is a red-blooded woman after all. He sings a song called “I Don’t Want to Cry” and if I have ever heard it before I don’t remember it. I really need My Kid to watch this show with me, to keep me up on these things. Jason is laid-back, pleasant, and sounds Starbucks good. Randy does not love it and compares it to being at a beach luau. Simon does not know what that is, which is kinda funny. I can totally see Jason wearing a lei, can’t you? Paula wants to be at the luau and enjoyed his zone and his confidence and everything else tonight. The audience goes wild when Simon agrees with Paula, and says it was a “cool version.”

Recap time if you set your DVR for overtime… it’s hard to determine who was the best tonight, as most of them did well. I think I liked Brooke the best because she was so non-Mariah-like. However, last week my favorite was Michael and he was sent packing. So what do I know?

It’s anyone’s guess as to who will go home tomorrow night. If Kristy or Syesha left, it would be anticlimactic at this point. I am going to go on a wild limb and predict that Carly will be packing her bags. Not sure why, just a gut feeling, even though my guts are notoriously off 99% of the time.

Quotes:
Paula (to Brooke about missing notes): Don’t ever let that speed you up…
Simon: Can we speed you up?
Paula: Say “thank you” for giving you that line…

Simon (to Rocker Dave): “It was like coming out of karaoke hell… and into a breath of fresh air.”

‘Til tomorrow when we see who will be Carey’d into the final six.

Would You Like Idol-ize With That?

Now at McDonald's - American Idol Happy Meal toys.

From left to right: Soulful Selma, Hippie Harmony, New Wave Nigel, Rockin' Riley, Punky Pete, Country Clay, Lil' Hip Hop, and Disco Dave.

You can even vote for your favorite on the web...

What will they think of next?

Michael Johns, Wonder from Down Under

From the moment he walked into the audition room in San Diego and sang an Otis Redding song, Michael Johns blew us away. He is a seasoned professional with many years of experience performing as lead singer of bands such as The Rising.

Although his early elimination was a shocker this week, this will not be the last we hear of the handsome blues/rock singer from Perth, Australia.

From his AI home page:

Q: What would people be surprised to learn about you?
A: I like chick flicks.

Q: What album would your friends be surprised you own?
A: The Wiggles.

In his exit interview, he says that he was shocked to be voted off because he’d never previously been in the bottom three. What got him through the rest of the night? “There was a moment when I took a really deep breath in and I saw my wife and she said, 'I love you.'”

As the oldest contestant this year, he nicknamed himself “Papa Johns.”

Michael also addresses his fans: “I've been getting letters and flowers and all sorts of gifts and stuff. Thank you and I'll see you on tour. And I'm going to give you guys a good record by next year.”

As for song choice, Michael has no regrets for choosing the Aerosmith song “Dream On.” He explains, “I'm living my dream and that song's all about heartache and struggle and overcoming things and I've done that in the last 10 years. Living in America and getting to live my dreams.”

He also has no regrets about his wardrobe: “I mean, the ascot that killed America? It was a fun outfit and it was time to step it up a little bit stylistically and I went for it. No regrets there.”

Michael believes that his best performance during the competition was the bluesy rendition of Dolly Parton’s “It’s All Wrong But It’s All Right.” (I totally agree with that.) He believes that he stayed true to himself and his musical roots.

My theory for Michael’s premature ousting is that it was a combination of the “curse” of going first and that the tweener votes are going to the younger contestants.

Keeping in touch... Michael’s myspace page.

American Idol “Gives Back” One of the Top 8

April 10, 2008

“Tugging on heartstrings” time is up, it’s back to business, y’all. Tonight one contestant will go home.

Mandisa is in the audience! I love that award-winning True Beauty.

Ryan thanks everyone who watched the charity ep last night, all 18 million of us (way fewer than last year.) We get to see highlights of the show because our attention spans are very small. We are reminded of the good (Heart), the bad (Teri Hatcher), and the cartwheels. 60 million dollars raised, which is awesome.

While Ryan goes on and on about the website, iTunes and whatnot, I take a minute to check my Relay For Life fundraiser page. Thanks to my friends and co-workers, the goal has been surpassed. I am amazed at the generosity of the people whose lives have been touched by cancer. But I digress and Ryan has finally finished talking.

Because so many TiVos timed out last night when the show ran into overtime, the top 8 do a reprise of the IGB finale song, “Shout to the Lord.” There was some chatter on the ‘net that this song caused controversy last night. The Christians were upset that the name of Jesus was edited out and the heathens were p.o.’d that they had the audacity to sing a religious song at all. I mean, let’s not expose crazillions of people to spirituality. I mean, they might go crazy and start doing good deeds or something.

To my surprise, tonight it’s Christians: 1 and Lions: 0. Because yay, they have added Jesus back to the song. Praise God and let the glory hallelujah protests roll!

The group sings this even better than last night, although only Little David, Brooke and Syesha seem to really get into it. As with all the group performances, Jason is like uh Cheech did what dude? Carly and Rocker Dave “bring it to church” at the end with the glory notes.

We will see more Talking Heads tonight, starting with two cute little blond boys named Zack & Cody. As last year, there is a montage of random celebrities lip syncing their way through an old song. This year it’s “I’m a Believer.” I don’t recognize most of these people which proves that I am not as pop culturally refined as I brag to be. There was Kylie, Cheryl Ladd’s look-alike from CSI Miami, Dr. Phil, and the big gal from The Practice. Fixed my little red wagon with not knowing more than that. This means I have to consult the resident expert, My Kid. She doesn’t do much better and only recognizes Rob Schneider, George Lopez, and the Kardashians.

Dim the lights, it is results time. And we didn’t even get a recap of performance night.

Brooke is called up first and she is sad about missing her sister’s wedding but excited about being safe. Why do they send this uncoordinated sweetheart to the couches first?

Rocker Dave is next and Ryan tells him he seems humble tonight. They contemplate the thesaurus that Simon uses to get words that mean the opposite of that. Dave is safe and off to the couch. (Dave, we are praying for your brother.)

Little David is next and after chit chat about tinkling the ivories, he is safe, duh.

Talking Head time: Dr. Phil and Ricki Lake who says American Idol dot now. Funniest thing I’ve heard in going on three nights.

Back to sadness and Forest Whiteker and his wife back in Africa. My Kid and Hubby say they have had enough sadness and go off to their rooms to cry some more. Only I hang in there to see and hear the misery set to music from the Lion King.

Jordin Sparks and hottie Chris Brown sing their mega hit “Air.” They are both adorable and sing really well together. They seem to be into each other too; they are shooting sparks at each other (pardon the pun.) Even Ryan notices the vibes and gets some giggles from Jordin. Then she’s presented with gold records which are called downloads now.

Talking Head: The Shield/Commish will kick our butts if we do not give back.

The Ford-mercial is set to “I Just Want to Celebrate” another day of living, and features fast cars, bright colors and tree-hugging undertones.

More results… Clifford, I mean Jason is next and he and Ryan chat about ukuleles and he is safe.

Kristy and her disco-era blouse come to the stage. She navigates her way toward the metal seats but wait... she’s safe.

That leaves Carly, Michael and Syesha as the bottom three.

Talking Head: Jim Carrey in serious mode, no “dumber” present.

Ryan and Bono and one.org remind us that it’s our responsibility to change the world. Then the three potential presidents wax philosophical with John McCain getting the best lighting and making a funny.

With eleven whole minutes to go Ryan has to stretch this elimination drama out. We have time for lots more commercials including an awesome one for the Starlight Foundation.

When we get back, it is with agonizing slowness... to learn that Carly and Syesha are safe. The audience is stunned and then boos for a long while. Evil Ryan teases that last year no one was eliminated but this year, too bad Michael is going home. I still expect Ashton Kutcher to pop out and tell him he’s been Punk'd.

Michael is shocked as he should be. Carly and Syesha are too stunned to even go sit on the couches. Paula is ready to chew nails. From his “celebrate me home” journey we are reminded of the awesomeness of all things Michael Johns.

Even My Hubby is disappointed because he likes him also; he says that Michael will get a record deal before the night is over. Our Kid is okay as long as Rocker Dave and Jason are safe. I want to slam doors and throw things the way that she did two years ago when Chris D. was voted off.

The judges say kind things to Michael, even Simon. Then he “dreams until his dreams come true,” just as well as Tuesday night. The final seven remaining contestants stand by the cushy couches thinking there but for the grace of God go I…

And so I go as well… to watch My Name is Earl because I need a laugh.

IGB2 - Night of a “Gugillion” Stars

April 9, 2008

Tonight is American Idol’s version of the Oscars, Emmys, Grammys, etc. all rolled into one, but for a great cause. There is much good to be had by raising zillions of dollars for poor folks.

Ryan is in his Savile Row best to meet and greet everyone. The judges are in the audience and they are dressed to the nines as well.

To open the show, the top 8 sing a song that My Kid says is from that Rihanna person. Don’t know her. Also did not realize that all the dancers on stage are from the Fox show So You Think You Can Dance. I will have to remember to not watch that again this year. At least these dancers are not awkward and clumsy, and the top 8 gang just get out of the way and let them do their thang.

Oh goody. Popped up on my screen is the logo of one of the reasons it costs me 100 bucks a week just to drive to work.

The first of many stars appear as “talking heads." First up is some NASCAR driver. Then George Lopez but I don’t know what he’s saying since I don’t speak Mexican. (Except for Chihuahua which we learned from Paula last night.)

Kool Kylie Minogue, a breast cancer survivor and the singer of Cindy Crawford’s furniture commercial also makes an appeal.

Mrs. Terminator Herself, Maria Shriver appears on stage with great hair and about a hundred thousand volunteers from the CA area. I see a lady wearing a Make-a-Wish tee shirt and start to cry, only twelve minutes into the show.

My favorite museum night guard Ben Stiller is back and gives me the word of the day – “gugillion.” I love made up words and already have like, a gugillion of them.

Next we see a sad and disturbing video with Jennifer Connelly that depicts the irony of Americans having clean drinking water, but complain about things like not having the latest iPod or cell phone made out of chocolate. But African children don’t have anything. It’s fitting that Jennifer did something H20 related since her character died in the Dark Water movie she made. (You can take it out of your Netflix queue now that you know the ending.)

I didn’t even like Snoop Dogg in that Starsky & Hutch movie, mainly because the entire film sucked. Here he is on the AI stage with bling and some Klingon looking guy. Next.

Another talking head dude with a big round bandage on his face begs us to give back. A wrestler of some sort is big and scary looking and my mom probably knows his name but I do not.

We are reminded that YES “Dance Like There’s No Tomorrow” is a hit song by Paula Abdul and produced by Randy Jackson. They walk out on stage to read from cue cards in a bad way. Their segment on the epidemic of obese children prompts me to purge my cabinets of anything with sugar, salt, carbs, calories or air. Very sad circumstances are shown in the video and I hug My Kid because I love her.

So I used to watch Desperate Housewives but quit that show because it’s terrible. But I am guessing that Susan and the plumber dude are still together? Must be, since next we see a skit with those two and Carrie Underwood caught in the middle. Poor Carrie can’t act any better than the others.

This entire DH/Carrie bit is to lead up to Teri Hatcher fake-stealing Carrie’s song “Before He Cheats.” She sings (if you can call it singing) with a group called Band from TV. I have heard of them but never seen them before. One of the guys from Alias is on drums; I think he’s on Heroes now. Dr. Chase from House plays violin. And Mike the plumber plays guitar. So that part is way cool but not the Corpse Bride as vocalist. Poor Carrie has to fake-thank her. Ugh.

Some lady with crazy hair screams at me from my TV for no reason and Nigel begs her to stop. This show has stepped into crazy land.

My Kid (and the audience) go wild when they see three boys called The Jonas Brothers. Must be a teenagery thing.

Not a huge Billy Crystal fan but not a hater either. Can take him or leave him, like 99% of the “celebrities” out there today. He purposely mispronounces Miley Cyrus but makes it seem like an accident because for the next few minutes, the “comedy” depends on this “old meets young” gag. And by “gag” I mean, really 12-year old girls? This kinda stuck-up girl is your Mary Kate and Ashley? I beg My Kid to explain to me what is the appeal here? She has no answer, just shrugs. Little Miley seems like a nice enough girl but she cannot sing. Y’all, I apologize for every bad thing I’ve ever said about Kristy Lee Cook.

Although we are not supposed to know it, the viewing audience being stupid and whatever, everything that we have seen so far was NOT live. The only live-ness we will see tonight is Ryan and the contestants pretending to man (and wo-man) the phone lines. Riiiiight. But wait! Call now and get an INSPI(RED) tee shirt like Michael has on. (If only.) Or Rocker Dave can sell ya one of the thousand white one.org bracelets he is wearing.

Paul Hewson, a.k.a. Bono is in Africa, trying to help AIDS-stricken children. He seems to genuinely be one of the good guys. The plight of these victims has everyone at Aunt Pearl’s house humbled, grateful and teary-eyed.

Julianne Moore from The Forgotten reminds us to go online and give before the aliens erase our memories and then suck us into the sky.

Up next to perform is one of the chicks that does ads for Candie’s shoes. Because I actually do not live in a cave, I have heard of Fergie and know that she is not the Duchess of York but from the Black Eyed Peas. Whatever, she sings some boring song while the guy from the Target commercial plays piano. When the song finally ends she says his name is John Legend.

And then! She introduces the Wilson sisters from my childhood days, the one and only HEART!!! Ann sings “Barracuda” while Nancy jams on guitar. Although she’s bigger these days (aren’t we all?) Ann still sounds fabulous. Nancy has gone carrot top and can still rock with the best of them. For absolutely no good reason, Fergie comes back on stage and totally upstages my Wilson girls. Way to steal the thunder from your self-proclaimed idols, beyotch. She slithers and slimes and even cartwheels, but at least she sings better when she’s aping Heart than when she’s doling out her own craptastic tunes.

Another WWE wrestler pops in to tell us to give back. I do not recognize him but it is not The Rock so who cares. Adam Sandler tells us that dogs are good and so is charity.

Back to Ryan and the big phone fakers, especially needy Syesha. Anyone who really believes that calls are being routed to them, raise your hand. Okay, now go take your seat at the back of the short bus.

I think I just heard Seacrest say that American Idol postage stamps are coming soon. Awww, something for snail mail users; that is so cute.

What do I know less about than today’s pop music? Football. Two tall guys named Manning come out on stage and prove that jocks can read from cue cards. They are shown in a touching video about helping Katrina survivors and school kids.

No Kelly C. this year on IGB, but at least we get to see her Vitamin Water commercial.

Am so over Becks and Posh, move off my TV please, with your stern faces and bragging about success. The UK needs you back, right?

Manic Ryan and those Zany 8 need to make like Jerry Lewis, with the quickness! (Hey Ryan? Tomorrow, take the whole pill.)

Bono and a brave orphaned boy introduce Annie Lennox, who really does have the “voice of an angel.” I like Annie very much, so I weep with her all the way through the story of her visit to Africa. This is what I would do if I was filthy rich – help the unfortunate. The only difference is that I would do it on the DL, without any fanfare. What the stars are doing on this show tonight is admirable, but I would do it anonymously.

After showing her video, tonight Annie sings “Many Rivers to Cross,” a song I remember from an old Linda Ronstadt album that I used to have. Wish they’d have Linda on the show one of these days. The last river song I heard her do was the Joni Mitchell one, which is one of my all-time favorites, even though it’s sad-Christmas. I digress because I am somewhat bored with this song, although the audience loves every emotional note of it.

Jack Bauer says to give back, or he and Walker Texas Ranger will hunt you down!

Celine Dion is in Africa helping the children, and will not be performing with Dead Elvis tonight. Whew, dodged that bullet.

Jimmy Kimmel comes on stage to make fun of Simon and although I enjoy making fun of Mr. Cowell as much as the next very twisted person, it gets a bit long and awkward. Not as uncomfortable as say, that whole Ben Affleck thing, but close.

In his Montage of Humanity video, Simon proves that he is not the devil (because this week that title goes to Zsa Zsa’s hubby.) He talks about the misfortune of so many American children not having health insurance, and how the working poor get screwed each week by the IRS while the rich B-tards are in tax shelters and some such. Or something to that effect. At any rate, the whole thing is touching and hits close to home.

Simon then introduces the iridescent Carrie Underwood who gets to sing this time, not just pretend that she liked Lois Lane’s singing. Accompanied by a wonderful orchestra, she performs a song called “Praying for Time.” As always, she is too beautiful to even be a real person, has a remarkable voice, and there doesn’t seem to be very much behind the eyes.

Whoopi is funny and adorable but I still refuse to watch The View. (I will give back, though.) We miss Ellen as co-host this year, but at least she’s on hand to give a plug as “Oprah.” Somewhere Stedman really is confused.

The oft-performed-on-AI Gloria Estefan is on stage next with the ageless Sheila E on drums. Now this was worth the price of admission and even the popcorn. We will “get up and make it happen” indeed, but not as well as the scantily clad dancers.

Dirty-mouthed Sarah Silverman should be in one of those cheeky Orbit commercials. She is a bug on my windshield. Like her beau Jimmy, she does not bring out Matt Damon but does a crappy Randy Jackson bit. Her segue from funny to serious is not smooth either.

The Last King of Scotland himself, Forest Whitaker talks about the need for mosquito nets and medical supplies in Africa. He and his wife visit children in the hospital and we are reminded that God loves them just as much as he does all the healthy people.

More phone time-wasting and giggles and Jason wants to sell us a Castro-inspired Chia pet.

The British PM who is Not Tony Blair pops onto our TV to inform us that Britain is giving back as well. They will be giving millions of mosquito nets out and good on them for this contribution.

At this point, not sure why the contestants are bothering with the telephones. The way Ryan keeps snatching them away, all the calls must be for him.

More shrieks of delight from My Kid when Nicole Kidman’s husband pops in to tell us to give back.

Reese Witherspoon who is so not like June Carter Cash, I don’t care what Oscar says, is up next. Without a trace of Elle Woods, she tells of her visit to New Orleans, the city of her birth. She interacts awkwardly with the less fortunate but seems to be genuinely concerned about them.

The top 8 – remember them? The telethon-phone-answering people? Well, they get to sing together again. They do a song from the musical Rent called “Seasons of Love.” I have no basis for comparison, but it sounds okay to me and about 525,600 minutes long. Blue-robed back-up singers join in with the eight to close the song.

My Kid squeals when she sees Dane Cook, no relation to Kristy or David. I do not know him but whatever. At least this year we have a good mixture of Gen X, Gen Y, and Baby Boomers.

He introduces Alicia Keys, who is another one of those impossibly beautiful gals that looks too pretty to be a human. She is the global ambassador for Keep a Child Alive, and in her non-ghetto voice she narrates highlights of her trip to Africa.

Two teenage girls from High School Musical come to steal Archuleta away from AI to take him back to Planet Disney. Oh yeah, and to plug the Give Back web site.

Now for no apparent reason at all, Miley Cyrus is back but not in the Hannah Montana wig. Isn't that how it’s supposed to work? She must have been watching that Fergie gal too closely with all her bumping and grinding. I still do not “get” the appeal of this girl and never will because I am very very old.

Miley and her dad, Achy Breaky Billy Ray, visit Kentucky. This is where Billy Ray was born so it’s a return to his roots. The plight of the poor people there makes me feel ashamed for complaining about anything in my whole life, ever.

Is it just us, or has this show turned into Hannah Montana Gives Back?? Is American Idol owned by Disney??? Hopefully we are done with the former Destiny Hope for now.

Ryan introduces us to our Russian Idol… Robin Williams. He does one funny knock-knock joke that’s as old as my granny and goes on way too long. Where’s Yakov Smirnoff when you need him?

Deuce Bigalow and his gangsta hat plug IGB. And oh Tyra, girl you so fierce. See you on The Soup this Friday evening.

Hey, it’s Joe Dirt himself! David Spade introduces that home-wrecking Angelina’s beau Brad Pitt. The audience screams for a hundred years and somewhere Paula is mush. To paraphrase Randy, he’s just okay for me. Brad and his grandpa hat are there to talk about the plight of Katrina victims.

Tonight Brad comes onstage to introduce the next special guest... Finally the moment that My Kid has waited for all night: Chris Daughtry, er Just Daughtry, or is it DAUGHTRY? No matter, Chris and crew play for kids in Uganda and we still love him, his toboggan and his black ONE tee shirt.

Time has run out but I learned from experience to always set the DVR for overtime. This way we don’t miss Mariah Carey. Oh wait, yeah. The thing about Ms. Carey is that no one will ever love Mimi as much as SHE loves Mimi. It’s not worth the price of her perfume at Macy’s. At least Randy gets to play guitar again, and for the first time doesn’t have to diss someone for trying to do Mariah.

For the grand finale, the white-clad top eight singers perform the praise & worship staple, “Shout to the Lord.” I can not believe that The Powers That Run Idol are allowing a song like this on their very secular show. Do they not know it’s about The Lord and Savior? Oh well, they must since they cut “Jesus” from the lyrics.

The PC Police, back in action. We’ll take what we can, love it, and donate to the cause. Then we’ll wipe our eyes and go to bed, knowing that our dreams will be sweeter than the ones we saw this evening. Every single one of the people we saw tonight will be in my prayers.

Quotes:

Ben Stiller: “Isn't that what American Idol is all about? Convincing crazy people they can be on television?”

Miley Cyrus (to Billy Crystal): “So are you in show business?”

Jimmy Kimmel (about Simon’s hairdo): “Who parts that for you? Moses?”

Simon (to Jimmy): “I just want to say how much I love the Jay Leno show.”

Stage Manager Debbie (after adjusting Brad Pitt’s malfunctioning mic): “I just needed a reason to touch him.”

‘Til tomorrow night when one goes home. In the meantime, Give Back.

The Top 8 Dream of Innocent Angels Over the Rainbow

April 8, 2008

Some folks like to call American Idol’s “Inspirational Songs” episode an evening of treacle and dirge. Not me! I love me some glurge, the more molasses-coated the better. It’s like dessert for the soul.

Maybe I am just still riding high from a wonderful week-end. Our Amazing Kid was baptized on Sunday, and we are very proud of her.

Ryan reminds us that tonight is only Part One of this week’s shows. Tomorrow night is the biggie – Idol Gives Back Two with all its glory. I personally CAN NOT WAIT and have purchased a brand new box of Puffs Plus for the occasion. Why? Because anytime I get to see Chris Daughtry it makes me cry with joy! (And then there’s the sad stuff too, of course.)

Tonight it’s all about the final eight and the looming threat of Paula’s ta-tas. (Ya have to see ‘em to believe ‘em.) Before each performance we will see via video each contestant’s reason for their song choice.

Perth, Australia’s finest Michael takes the stage first. He has been in America long enough to love it but still retain just enough accent to be sexy. The neck hankie though? Not so much. He is singing Aerosmith’s “Dream On” because it’s all about dreams and the fulfillment of them and how ONLY in the U.S.A. can people such as “Bratney Smears” be a pop star. It’s weird but I always thought that Steven Tyler meant this as a sarcastic song as in “yeah right dream on.” Perhaps that is just my own jaded interpretation. No matter, as Michael sounds great and hits every note on the money, even the high ones. Randy is not feeling it for some reason, but Paula is and then some. She gushes about his awesomeness and her Chihuahuas and her wonder bra. Simon calls Michael a “wannabe(ISH) rock star” and oh how I wish someone would throw something at his head. It would be hard for Cowell to say unkind things if he was in a coma, now wouldn’t it? Unfortunately, our favorite Aussie turns into a Babbling Brooke Doll as he questions the reason behind the two guy judges’ harsh words. I can sum it up for ya in a nutshell – Simon and Randy are guys. You, Mr. Johns are a much hotter guy. Ergo, they don’t like you and will nitpick. (This same scenario can be flipped when Kristy Lee comes to the stage.)

Up next is Syesha who forgot to use Matrix Sleek Look again. Before she sings, she chats with Ryan on the metal stools about little Ramiele and life without her. Bored now. In a true “oh no she ain’t!” moment, Syesha says in her video that she is doing Fantasia’s AI coronation song “I Believe.” There are several things in life that totally fray my last nerve. Here’s a short list: people who drive under the speed limit; skinny folks who whine about being “so fat;” braggarts who will not STHU about their latest overpriced gizmo; and current AI contestants who perform songs done better by former AI winners, especially swan songs. The verses are too low and do not sound good at all, although she does the chorus well enough. Did she not watch the show last year when the judges ripped LaKisha a new one for performing this song?? Maybe she did and she’s too arrogant to care. The note at the end is so high that Paula needs to check on her Chihuahuas. Randy and Simon are on the same page that Syesha did not make a “connection” the way that Fantasia did back in the day. Paula and her “girls” liked it though in a big “shining moment” way. Syesha is puzzled by the not-loving of her and questions them incessantly, but too darn tootin’ bad. Once a coronation song is done, they should ban it forever and ever, amen.

Everyone’s favorite dreadlocked one is up next. I never noticed until recently that Jason reminds me of Clifford the Muppet. In his vid, he talks about how he is doing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” but not in the fabulous way of Kat McPhee. Because she did that one to death back in season 5. He is doing a version by some Hawaiian dude called “Iz” complete with ukulele. Oh goody. My Kid is teary-eyed and says that this is the song that played when Dr. Green died in ER. I have to take her word for it, since I stopped watching when Clooney left. Anyways, Jason sounds rather nice on this song and it’s an enjoyable performance. My Hubby wants to know when the hula dancers are going to join in, heh. Although I am kinda over Jason, it’s hard not to be intrigued by him as he does not reveal a lot of himself in his performances. There is still an aura of mystery but is it because it’s hidden well, or because there’s nothing there? Points to ponder. At any rate, Randy calls him “molten hot” and raves for a thousand years. Paula mentions his “definitive sound” which only makes sense if she means that he sounds the same all the time. Although Simon was unsure of this version of the song at first, he pronounces Jason’s rendition to be “fantastic.” Simon’s wearing his green-colored-glasses and hearing ka-chings.

Ergh, Kristy is up next. We learn in her video that she is finally going to reach into her country diva box of magic tricks, and is performing a song by the awesome Martina McBride. Martina sang the song “Anyway” on the show last year when she was a guest coach. Kristy’s version of this very good song is pleasant enough and she actually does a good job with it. I know, right. If I had never heard Martina sing this song, I’d be a Kristy convert. My Hubby needs no conversion and is making ooky goo-goo eyes at the TV. She does look prettier with the wavy hair, and there’s no denying that she is “built like a sh*t brickhouse.” (Hubby’s words, not mine.) She definitely made a very clever song choice. Who can resist the underdog singing “You can pour your soul out singing a song you believe in/That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang/Sing it anyway.” Randy attempts to mention pitch problems but the Cooks must have a contract out on him because he backtracks. Paula babbles and bursts and spills out and is just silly. Simon is mesmerized, tells her she looks like a star and that her performance was “very good.” Not sure what he’s seeing that’s different with her look, as she has done the shiny top/tight pants combo many times. As always, her smile lights up the auditorium.

We come back from commercial but before we can get back to the singing, we see that Merry (or is it Pippin?) is sitting in Simon’s lap. This show is really strange sometimes.

Rocker Dave is up next. It was all over the internet that due to high blood pressure, he was rushed to the hospital after his performance last week. This situation was addressed by David and Ryan on the show. What they have not revealed publicly is that David is also dealing with another heartbreaking family situation. His brother Adam is battling cancer, so prayers going up for him. Tonight Dave is singing a song by his favorite band Our Lady Peace called “Innocent.” I have never heard of this group or this song so have no basis for comparison. The first verse is very low and his voice doesn’t sound very good. When the song changes to a different key, it gets better and then he totally rocks it out. He goes overboard with the Taylor Hicks-ing into the audience, but such is the life of a rock star. He then holds out his hand for the camera to see that Give Back is written in the palm. My Kid goes wild but almost comes to blows with her dad, who says that Dave was showboating. Either way, this performance was half-n-half. At least that is what Randy and I both thought. Paula loves everything and everyone, even the spiky points of Rocker Dave’s hair. Simon throws out the “pompous” card and disses the white marching band jacket that David is wearing. Once again, Mr. Black Tee Shirt is giving fashion advice.

My favorite gal Carly is up next and she is pulling a Paris Bennett this week. She’s doing Queen’s “The Show Must Go On,” which I have always considered to be a gloomy song. Not one that you’d think of for “inspirational week,” for sure. In her pre-performance package she says that she saw this song performed at Live Aid, but it seems like she’d be too young to remember that. Tonight Carly has definitely discovered the joy of volumizing conditioner but her outfit is not the most flattering. She is a very pretty young lady and could be stunning with just the right combination of tops and bottoms. And long sleeves. My Kid says that she could create a better ensemble for her on Fashion Solitaire, so she goes off to do that. While I like Carly and enjoy hearing her sing, she is not doing justice to Freddie. Her voice is all over the place and so is she. Randy is on the fence and says it wound up just “okay.” Even Paula admits that there was not a connection between Carly and the audience. Simon makes an exaggerated point to tell Carly that she looks great, and then hits the nail on the head by saying that she came over as angry and “out of control.” He also predicts that she could be “in trouble” after that. Carly just smiles and tells him that she caught the expression on his face when she was singing and it threw her off kilter.

Every week thus far has been “inspirational” for Little David. He says that he has looked forward to this theme for a long time and has struggled to come up with just the right song. Tonight he picked a winner with the song “Angels” by Robbie Williams. My Kid says that Jessica Simpson also recorded this song a few years ago. (I try not to let my eyes roll at the mention of her name, but it conjures memories of that horrid HDTV commercial.) Anyways, tonight David plays the piano and sings the song brilliantly, as is his way. Again I have no way to compare his version, but I adore David and enjoy this performance. Some of the lyrics sound strange coming from tiny David; what does he know of “loving angels instead?” Isn’t everyone an angel in the world that he lives in? Regardless, he does a wonderful job and everybody loves him, because he is like sea shells and cookies and Pooh. Randy certainly does and even says “it was crazy.” But I think he meant that in a good-crazy and not bad-crazy way. Paula’s circulation has cut off in the corset and tight dress so she simply says “fantastic.” Simon was not overjoyed with the vocal but agreed with his song choice. Mr. States-the-Obvious tells David that he will “sail through” to the next round and has no worries. Based on the screams from the fans in the audience, we know this already.

The final spot of the evening goes to America’s favorite piano-playing, guitar-strumming Brooke. Unfortunately, she does not do either of these things during her act tonight. In her video, she talks sweetly about loving the Carole King version of the James Taylor classic “You’ve Got a Friend.” Brooke looks pretty tonight with Kris Munroe hair, but the tent-like hippie dress has gotta go. She sings the song in her typical Brooke-like fashion; very pleasant, nothing dramatic. For some reason she looks like she’s on the verge of a nervous breakdown at any minute. She and Carly need to go out for drinks, albeit Brooke’s would likely be diet ginger ale. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. How can we not want to give her a hug? She is just so vulnerable. Randy throws out the same comment that he made to Ramiele last week about “not being mad at you.” I hope this does not jinx our Ms. White. Paula goes on and on about her sister and loving the song and her boobs or something. She uses the “definitive” word again; I am beginning to think that each judge has a Word Of The Day calendar. (Simon’s favorite is “busking,” in case anyone has been keeping up.) Simon declares that her performance was like a “pleasant walk in the park.” Ryan tries to cuddle Brooke as she is nervous and shaky and needs a Twinkie. Or twenty.

Recap time and I place Michael Johns as the front runner, no matter what the male judges say. I am with Ms. Abdul on this one. Minus the Victoria’s Secret props of course.

Ryan quickly reminds us that elimination night will be Thursday since tomorrow is IGB2.

My predication to go home on Thursday is Syesha, based on the asinine choice to take on Fantasia. Carly’s blaming-Simon tactic may put her in danger, too. Just to be consistent, Kristy will more than likely bring her sticky note back on elimination night.

Quotes:

Randy (to Michael): “This show is about being the best singer, undiscovered talent we can find, not about dreams.”

Paula (to Randy about Kristy): “I think you should leave the pitch moments alone now.”

Gather up loads of popcorn and Kleenex for tomorrow, as it’s a 2 ½ hour show. Egads.