April 2, 2008
To my delight, we get back from church just in time to catch the opening theme music. My Kid asks why worry, because that is why God invented the DVR. True enough, but I like my elimination show the same way I like my fishin’ bait – “live.”
The promise of a jam-packed fun-filled awe-inspiring episode has us gathered around the TV in anticipation. Paula looks pretty in neon orange but the wig is overly obvious tonight. My Kid loves Randy’s skull shirt.
It’s Group Song time and they do “9 to 5” instead of the one I wished for, “Romeo.” That would have been so much better; I can totally see Michael on the Billy Ray Cyrus part. But oh well… I remember seeing the movie 9 to 5 at the theater with my mom about a thousand years ago. Gorgeous Dolly looks even better now thanks to her marvelous nip/tuck doc.
Anyways, the contestants are in great vocal form on the group song, but the clunky chicken dance moves are still and always awful. Tonight they even have comedic butt-bumping action. It’s nerve-racking when they gather ‘round the judges table and then hang off the ledge. Who is the choreographer this year? Pee Wee Herman?? Oh well, it’s “enough to drive you crazy if you let it.”
Just a side note: although I am no fashionista, I can’t help but marvel at the all-time low costume choice of one Ramiele Malubay. She looks like she just crawled off the couch after an all-nighter and pulled on her boyfriend’s old tee shirt. Ack!
To paraphrase The Soup’s wonderful Joel McHale, “It’s American Idol recap clip tiiiiiiime!” We are reminded that Dolly night was mostly spectacular ... Jason and his swinging dreads traveled on, Rocker Dave went into the fals’ all by himself, Kristy had a dress of many colors and bare feet, does Ramiele ever cross our mind? Jolene had better stay away from Brooke’s man or she will kill her with kindness, Syesha will always love the best little Bodyguard in Texas, Carly looks better than a body has a right to, little David keeps looking to the Father, it’s all riiiight with Michael and his purple ascot.
Dim the lights; it’s time to reveal one of the B3. Michael and his Dolly tee shirt are safe. Sweetest in the world Little David is safe. After stupid human tricks, Carly is pronounced safe. Why is it that bullies can sense insecurities and use them for evil?
Speaking of stupid… viewer call time. Ergh. Time to feed the dogs anyway. When I get back, My Kid informs me that: Syesha misses her family but oops AI is now her family, whew close save. Rocker Dave is a slob, YAY he is teenager-like! Randy was finally asked a question and his answer was something like Yo Yo Yo. Michael and Rocker Dave joke about duet-ing on the tour this summer. (Can we go to the concert, please??) Simon likes the Buckcherry song “Sorry” which he will never ever say.
Apparently there was a show called the Next Great American Band and the winner was a group called the Clark Brothers. I missed that one which is too bad because these three young guys are fabulous. In a bluegrassy-gospel hoedown style, they start off with the old Sunday school song “This Little Light of Mine” then totally rock out on “Jesus on the Mainline.” Hallelujah and praise God, these boys are great! Must order their music during the next commercial break. My Kid thinks that all three of them are so cute.
This week’s Ford-mercial is to a rap song called “It’s Tricky” and shows the contestants (and/or body doubles) shoot some hoops in a basketball challenge. Believable? Not so much. Michael Johns in a tank top? Yesssss.
Next we have Ryan/Carly/Simon banter in regards to him being a complete dipwad last night. This entire incident reminds me of when I took My Kid clothes shopping a couple years ago. She was acting up and being silly in the store and I snapped, “Stop being obtuse!” She just looked at me for a second and then said, “Did you just call me fat?” We will laugh about that one forever.
Back to results time… Rocker Dave explains that his “rush to emergency room OMG” was completely overblown thanks to TMZ and their nasty ilk. He is just fine thanks, and ain’t going nowhere except to the cushy couches because he’s safe.
Nervous Nelly a.k.a Ramiele is the first of the B3. There is a first time for everything. Kristy has copped a ‘tude and has a note and takes her very own metal stool. This girl is quickly getting on my very last nerve. Plus, her nail tips look dumb.
Ryan quizzes Paula about these two Pouty Puff Girls, but she can’t bring herself to say anything bad. He thankfully doesn’t ask Simon; it’s only a one hour show after all.
Time for American Idol Alumni updates, from Nashville. Bucky Covington from season 5 has relocated from Rockingham, NC and made a solid country music career. Last season’s Phil Stacey is also successfully breaking into that genre. He is sporting some sexy manly stubble now, too. My favorite season 4 contestant, Bo Bice has released a second album, this time to HIS liking. Good for Bo, who has overcome major health problems to reestablish himself as a southern rocker.
More results… Syesha is beautiful and safe. Last two standing are Brooke and Jason. The nanny comes out in Brooke as she chastises Simon for dissing her fiddle player last night. Did she not catch his earlier OneRepublic moment about not ‘pologizing? He gives in and it’s sarcastic sorrys all around. Whatev, Brooke is B3.
So this week’s B3 could be called “Two Blondes and a Baby,” heh. And ooh, Simon does get a chance to gloat that YES he is always right and America got this B3 correct as well.
To prove that he really is human and not Cromartie, Simon explains to Carly that he was just trying to help last night with his criticism of her wardrobe. Riiiiight. He just didn’t want to meet Carly’s tattoo-faced hub in a dark alley.
But I digress… and back to the show. And sadness. This week’s Idol Gives Back update is the most heartbreaking thing I have ever seen or heard about. Tears are still flowing just thinking about the horrors of Ethiopia and the children there. Next Wednesday is IGB2 and America’s opportunity to help more of the unfortunate.
Speaking of children, My Kid went to the Casting Crowns concert with her youth group on Sunday. While they were there, they “adopted” a child through World Vision, and they’re all excited about this little boy named Parto. Just goes to show that any age can help, even if it’s simply writing letters and praying earnestly.
Now to bring a smile back to our faces… it’s Dolly Parton, y’all! She sings her latest single which is called “Jesus & Gravity.” That is FOUR mentions of my eternal Redeemer in just two nights of American Idol! The song is awesome and I plan to get the soundtrack and do this one at church. It’s basically about how Jesus lifts us up and gravity keeps our feet on the ground. And that’s all we need right?
The clock is ticking… someone must go home. Will it be Rami, KLC, or Brooke? Ms. White gets to do a recap of everything that’s made her cry tonight before she’s finally sent to the cushy couches.
Ryan finally announces that Kristy is safe. She hugs Ramiele for a hundred thousand years before letting go. This almost makes up for her being a snot-nosed brat for the past couple nights.
As usual, I called it totally wrong. I thought that Rami’s large fan base would keep her in the competition for the long haul, a’la Jasmine Trias.
Her farewell footage reminds us of the one time she sang great at her first audition and that she is cute as a barrel full of puppies on a sunshiny day in April. She gets “celebrated home” in a variety of very bad outfits but pretty shiny hair.
After a pep talk from Ryan, Ramiele gathers herself together long enough to do a much better re-do of the Dolly song from last night. Very sweet girl but just not up to par with the rest of them. Her friends and co-stars gather ‘round to help her say good-bye.
‘Til next week, when it’s Inspirational theme week and IGB2. Now I have to go repent for my snarkiness and hankering.
Best quotes from tonight:
Dolly: “I’ve got Jesus, and you’ve got Simon.”
Ryan: “I got the short end of the stick.”
Randy: “Because the show really is definitely about fashion and not about singing, riiiiight?”
(Okay, I’ll stop ragging on it too, “Parton” the pun.)
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