One “Superstar” Too Many

April 23, 2008

No matter who or where you are today, you can make this claim: “I did not do a restart of my Broadway-by-way-of-Madonna song in front of 38 crazillion people on LIVE television.” Well, unless your name is Brooke White…

Oh how the internet is all abuzz about America’s favorite nanny and her this-close to meltdown moment. It seems that fans are divided into two camps: How Brave and How Foolish.

Sometimes I think folks watch Idol the same way they watch car races – for the anticipation of the crash into the wall. As an extreme AI fan, I like to think that I do not watch for this reason, but hey. Just human after all, so who knows.

Anyways, tonight will tell the tale… First Ryan kisses both corseted Paula and appalled Simon (ewww) and then introduces the final six and Andrew Lloyd Webber.

The group song tonight is (what else), a ballad called “All I Ask of You.” This is the song that Carly was going to do last night but Sir Webber talked her out of it. Have to say that the six contestants do a much better job on this song than the Mariah mess last week. Andrew plays the piano for them and thankfully there is no dancing involved.

Crazy how the finger of fate is so fickle… as always, I have changed my mind about these last six singers at least a thousand times. Am completely over Castro and his Spicoli-ness. Am mostly over Disney’s HSM Archie. Have become a Syesha fan overnight. Have grown used to Carly’s tats and think she’s adorable. I almost like Rocker Dave in a Daughtry way. Most of all, I am so ready for Brooke to go back to babysitting. All six of these kids are in the same boat week after week yet she’s the only one who can’t seem to keep up with the rowing.

Next there’s a plug for the American Idol summer tour. My Kid really wants to go this year, just for Rocker Dave and Jason. I am thinking that we will hit the Sonfest festival at Carowinds instead. Switchfoot rocks!

Recap time … “toughest night of the season” so says Randy. Syesha was fabulously Susie Diamond-like, Archie borrowed a skinny tie from the Rocker Cook Collection, Jason had no memory of the wedding Simon was speaking of, Brooke called a much-publicized mulligan, Carly rocked out while wearing a couch cover from the 60s, and Dave cooked the best music of the whole night.

Ryan and Andrew sit on the chat stools and talk about the contestants. Awkwardly enough, all six are sitting right behind them on the stage. At least mostly good things are being said and they’re not talking about them behind their backs, but in front of them. Funny moment when ALW says that the song he’d write for Paula/Simon would be either “Time to Say Good-bye” or “How Can I Say I Miss You if You Won’t Go Away.”

This week’s Ford-mercial is a hodgepodge of punk superhero stunt car drivers and the non-Danny Noriega version of “Tainted Love.” All while paying homage to A-HA, a band you know if you are old like me.

President and First Lady Bush do a “Thank You America” video for the 65 million dollars raised on Idol Gives Back to help poor folk. Nice red tie, W.

It’s time for some voting results… only two metal stools tonight. First up, both Davids are called to the stage. Because we have so very much time to fill, Ryan goes on for a hundred years about “feelings” and other next-on-Dr.-Phil time-wasting. Simon almost chokes on a Certs. No surprise, both of our Davids are safe.

Interlude… I really want to see Will Smith’s movie Hancock.

One of the good things to come about this season of AI is the updates on Idols Past. Keeping with the Broadway theme, we are reminded that Diana DeGarmo, Fantasia, and LaKisha Jones have all been on the Great White Way.

We also get up-close-and-personal visits with Tamyra from season one and Clay from season two. They are both performing on stage and are successful and happy. Good on them both for their work in the plays Rent and Spamalot. The glitter has not rubbed off and Broadway is not dark tonight.

The winner of the British version of an Idol-like show is here tonight to perform. Simon makes a big deal out of discovering Leona Lewis but he does give a couple of shout-outs to others as well. Leona is lovely, has a great voice and the pop tune she sings is very catchy. It’s a song that gets stuck in your head that’s for sure; we’ll be “cut open” for the rest of the night. My Hubby thinks that she is da bomb, probably because her dress is see-through.

Dim the lights again… Brooke and Syesha are called to the stage next. This one should be a no-brainer but we all know how this show goes. Much babbling and pity-partying later we find out that Brooke is safe and Syesha is bottom 2. If Sye is ready to kick butt and shoot daggers I don’t blame her. I’d poke somebody in the eye with that ‘fro if I was her, hmmmph. More curse of going first.

No viewer calls this week! Yay!!! Maybe TIIC really are smarter than a 5th grader.

Smiling Carly and bored Jason are the final two standing. Carly gave her Simon tee shirt to some kid. Jason is as nervous as Cats in a room full of rocking chairs with no memory. Nobody went to the ghastly pretend wedding because no one is allowed outside past curfew. Duh, wuh, muh, Jason is freakin’ safe. Carly joins Syesha in the B2.

Simon gets all ‘splainy: Jason is “charming” and Brooke is “human;” that’s why they are both safe tonight. The real reason? America doesn’t like tattooed foreigners and wannabe-divas, no matter how great they are at show tunes.

Ryan looks at the clock, sees that we still have like half a decade of time left and announces that both Carly and Syesha will be singing their songs from last night. This is actually a good thing; they both did outstanding jobs so this time do-overs are accepted here.

Carly sings the “Superstar” song again. We just got home from church and are still feeling the spirit and in no mood for sacrilege. Her voice is amazing but I really really hate this song and what it means.

It is Syesha’s turn to shine again next, but minus the sexy red dress and piano lounging. She shows diverse Taylor-ness by wandering into the audience. Rude Ryan and Carly are shown just chatting away. Syesha sings well but the overall performance was much better last night, and she ends it with a WTH shrug.

Still so much time to go and so little left to do… so Ryan oh so slowly polls the judges, every single one of the mosh pit girls, each family member in the audience tonight and Alexandrea’s great grandma. All this just to learn that American Idol is a popularity contest. Noooooo.

This bottom two is unacceptable to me, but that’s how the cookie bounces. (I like to mix idioms.) Although it’s a bummer that Carly is the one leaving, I am glad that Syesha gets to stay. As I have said sixty times already, she really did do great last night.

Carly is all grins and there are no tears here; maybe more a sense of relief. Can’t help but wonder if the giggling school-girl act with the tee shirt was her downfall last night. Or perhaps I am not the only one who loathes that particular ALW song?

At any rate, we see from Carly’s “celebrate me home” video how much she has changed since her first audition. She is a lovely Irish lass with a great voice and infectious personality. The judges all agree that we’ve not seen the last of her and they all wish her Godspeed.

Quotes:

A.L. Webber (re: Brooke’s re-start): “Losing your way happens to the best people. It happened a few times on the panel last night.”

David Cook (about his ALW show tune): “I figured what could be more unpredictable than doing the song as it was written.”

Simon: “I apologize for giving you a compliment last night. Kiss of death. But let me tell you, Carly, you can leave with your head held high.”

Next week is only a slight notch up from Broadway (at least by my radar) – Neil Diamond. ‘Til then we’ll “keep bleeding keep keep bleeding love…”

DANG IT BOBBY!