May 8, 2007
One of the icons from my girlhood is on the show tonight – Barry Gibb, the taller and foxier of the Brothers Gibb, the “man in the middle” of the Bee Gees.
As the farmers say “we’re in the short rows now.” Only four contestants remain. Who will be our final 3?
Ryan is in pinstripes and stubble and no one told Randy that tonight the judges were supposed to wear white. (He just never gets those memos.)
Video montage of Barry Gibb and the Bee Gees set to “Staying Alive” remind us of the rocking falsettos, tight fuchsia pants and satin jackets of the 70’s. Wow, flashing back to my middle school days now, what a rush!
In the present, Barry practices “How Deep is Your Love” with the final four. Barry does not find it off-putting to be working with mostly ladies, since he has worked with Barbra, Diana and Celine. It’s strange how Barry has totally become Sean Connery with long hair.
Melinda is up first and she will be performing “Love You Inside and Out.” Barry says he “sings like a lady” himself so he is good with her version of this song. Tonight, Mel is cute as ever in all black attire and funky bracelets. She makes the song all her own and as always she does not miss a note. Judges do not seem to be very impressed though. Randy is “not jumping up and down.” Paula did not go “whoa whoa whoa” but admires the consistent goodness. Simon was “expecting incredible” and plays the back up vocalist card. Jerk. The STHU music cuts him off which proves that everybody loves Mindy Doo.
Blake is next and he chose “You Should Be Dancing” and Barry says that he likes the beat boxing spin that Blake puts on the song. Tonight Blake has some stylish blond highlights going and one of Sgt. Pepper’s jackets. There is way too much of that stuttering mess that he is so proud of and it goes on way too long. So glad when it’s finally mercifully over. The judges are relieved also it seems. Randy says the beat boxing was “corny.” Paula flubs around and mutters something about pitchiness. Simon barely gets a jab in before the music cuts him right off. Ryan tries to beat box his segue and it’s just wrong.
For absolutely no reason known to anyone, LaKisha has chosen “Staying Alive” as her first song. Barry is okay with her version and looks forward to hearing it live with the band. Wish someone had told her that we bigger gals should never ever wear those stretchy type pants in public. She puts an odd twist to such a well known song but it’s so funny to hear the “I’m a dancing sistah” line. Judges don’t like it at all. Randy says there was “too much going on.” Paula says “taking the tempo down” was a mistake. For some reason, the Cue The Music folks (who were so quick to cut Simon off before) let him go on and on and on and on for his critique of Kiki. Hmmm, conspiracy anyone??
It’s Viewer Question time and Jordin sits on the spaceship stools with Ryan. She chats about what she has learned about herself and she says she can “handle a lot more than she thought” and her grades are good, thank you very much.
At rehearsal, Barry is totally blown away with Jordin’s rendition of “To Love Somebody.” Tonight she is wearing an ugly dress with jeans. Gawd, I thought Princess P took this look down and killed it last year. Must be a teenage thing so I ask the resident expert, My Kid. She concurs that yes the look is over, so what the heck is this? Retro already? It does not really matter since Jordin sings better than she has ever before and even the judges agree. Randy says it was “kinda like a Mariah throwback vibe to Aretha” or something to that effect. Paula says it was the “BEST vocal so far tonight.” Simon actually echoes Paula on that and surprisingly does not tell her that the amoeba dress is ugly.
Before Melinda does her second song, it’s her turn on the spaceship stools with a fan question. She cutely reveals that the first cassette tape she bought was Michael Jackson’s Bad. Great, now THAT song will be stuck in my head all night.
In the practice session with Barry, Melinda changes the lyrics a bit on “How Do You Mend a Broken Heart.” She doesn’t want to sing the “loser” line and who can blame her. Barry thinks she is totally awesome. Once again she sings elegantly and perfectly. There are no boundaries with this wonderful lady. Judges somewhat agree and if they don’t who really cares? Not me, heh. Randy calls her the “resident pro.” Paula says she is a “throwback to Stephanie Mills” but wants to be surprised mumble bumble. Simon teases that Mindy does not understand what Paula is trying to say and then announces that she will be in the finals. We already knew this but thanks.
Blake’s second number is an obscure Bee Gees song called “This is Where I Came In” or something like that. Barry is shocked at this choice since it was a flop. This is reminiscent of Chris D. choosing an unknown Queen song last year but I digress. Since I have never heard the original version of this song, Blake’s rendition is kinda cool. This is way better than the first fiasco he did tonight. He only does a little of the beat boxing which is nice. My Kid loves Blake more than ever and wants some red tennis shoes to match his. Judges are mixed. Randy says “you don’t have to beat box every single time man.” Paula calls him the “contemporary rebel.” Simon seems actually annoyed with Blake with his song choice. Ryan and Blake joke about Simon just not “getting” it.
For no apparent reason at all, Judge Judy takes over the show for a few minutes. Now there’s 45 seconds of my life I will not ever get back. And now Ryan is all in a hurry.
LaKisha will be doing the ballad “Run to Me” as her second song. Barry tries to coach her on the best way to change the chords, but five bucks says that she WILL NOT take his advice. Ha! I need to go to Vegas baybee. As usual she does the opposite of what the mentors tell her. This is actually a very good performance from Queen LaKisha though, and her dress is very pretty. Much better this time around even though her voice gives out on the last note. Will the judges let her live that down? Pushed-for-time-in-a-hurry Randy says “much better than the first joint.” Paula says she is “still a champ.” Simon says it “still wasn’t great.” Ryan puts his arm around Kiki and she even gets a little squeeze. He can be pretty cool sometimes, that Ryan.
For her last song, Jordin is taking on the Streisand classic “Woman in Love” which seems to be a big challenge. Barry predicts that Jordin will be one of the biggest female recording artists ever and I concur. Even though she is not 100% perfection on the song tonight, she does indeed do a very good job. Her dress is much better than the outfit before also; she looks like a movie star. What a beautiful and adorable little gal! Judges are kinda offended about her taking on Barbra. Randy says “pitchy all the way through.” Paula plays the “you’re beautiful” card. Simon says that everything was “pageanty” and reminds everyone for the trillionth time that Jordin is only seventeen. Nooooo, really??
Recap time… The best song of the night was Jordin’s first one and the worst was Blake’s first one. So says Aunt Pearl anyways. Prediction for exit tomorrow is LaKisha.
Until tomorrow folks when Barry Gibbs Connery will perform and we will be one step closer to crowning a winner. No “Jive Talkin’!!”
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