May 1, 2007
Jon Bon Jovi is on tonight y’all!! YAY!!
Since no one left during the Very Special Charity Ep, we still have our Original Six. Ryan has lost his razor, his tie, and his ability to match shirt and jacket. Big whoops coming from the audience tonight which includes both Gina and that skanky internet gal, can’t remember her name.
First off, Ryan gives a ginormous THANKS to everyone who donated last week to Idol Gives Back. 70 million dollars was raised. This is a very good thing, and not to take away from the magnitude of the venture, but… I heard on the radio today that NewsCorp is trying to buy the Wall Street Journal for five BILLION dollars. Yeah. Kinda makes that 5 mill they “donated” look like laundry tokens. Oh well…
On to Bon Jovi... Montage reminds us that they are a phenomenal 80s “vanilla rock” band, of the big hair and flashy clothes. These days, Jon looks better than ever; he has truly gotten better with age. Watching him on this show makes me want to watch that movie again, the one where he plays The Painter With No Name… hold on a sec while I confer with IMDB… Moonlight and Valentino – it is a decent movie and he is the most memorable part of it. I did not realize how many acting roles he has had. Cool. But I digress while lusting…
The contestants will be doing Bon Jovi songs tonight. Wow, what a concept – they are actually doing the songs of the coach/mentor of the week. First up is Phil, he of the sweet smile and Joan Crawford brows. During the practice session, Jon is very impressed with Phil, as he should be; the guy sings his butt off on “Blaze of Glory.” Phil comes out from the audience, all Hicks-like, and he does not miss a single note of this song. He’s wearing a cool jacket too; My Kid likes it a lot. Randy plugs that he recorded that song with Bon Jovi (Paula and Randy fake snore; I love it when they do that) and then tells Phil that it was his best since country week. Paula says it was the best show opener of the season so far. Simon says it was okay and then goes on and on with the negative vibe. I mean, it is so obvious that he wants him gone with a capital GONE. Navy buds sitting in the audience cheering him on, so Phil is a winner no matter what the results are tomorrow night.
Ryan chats with Gina in the audience, who looks a bit uncomfortable. She so totally knows that she should still be up there on that stage especially during rock week.
So Jordin is next and right off the bat she makes a big faux pas. Of course she is just a mere child and doesn’t know any better, but she tells Jon and his pianist that her Mom loves them. Oops, this is the one thing that no one likes to hear, especially celebs with their extra big egos. Tonight Jordin gets the 2-guitarists-on-the-stage-with-her treatment as she sings “Living on a Prayer.” She sports a Chaka Khan fro and (perhaps as a shout out to Gina?) she has some red streaks going. I adore Jordin and am pulling for her to win this thing… but this style of music is just not her. Bless her heart, she is out of her element and the low notes are painful. She brings it home though on the last few glory notes. Jordin agrees with the judges as they dis' her on her performance tonight; “I recognize,” she says. Paula tells her that she is still hot and understands how doing a song from a hot boy band would be hard. Simon says that it was terrible and her look is like something from out of the Addams Family. This nudges Ryan to call him Herman Munster, which is a different show but still funny. All making fun of Simon is good.
Ryan tries to get LaKisha to sit on the spaceship stool but she jokes that she wants the camera to get her “slim side.” The question of the week for LaKisha is about prior vocal training and she says that she learned in church. And she is gonna bring a little sumpin sumpin up in the house tonight.
Since LaKisha has only seen Bon Jovi on Oprah, she is not familiar with his music. So she is out of her comfort zone and trying to learn something brand new. She is going to sing a song I’ve never heard before, “This Ain’t a Love Song.” Jon is very impressed with her. At least she is not doing something that we have already heard a thousand times, and I am pretty sure that this has not been recorded by a previous Idol winner. (Snark.) LaKisha brings diva soul back with her rendition of this power ballad. I would buy this record RIGHT NOW. This is by far her best performance yet, based on the Aunt Pearl-o-meter. The audience certainly agrees, as they shout and cheer. Randy says she blew that out da box. Paula agrees that she gave everyone a little sumpin sumpin. Simon says, “I actually could kiss you after that” and then proceeds to do just that. Okay, that was awkward. But at least she seems to have a modicum of gratitude to still be in the contest.
Commercials… who besides me absolutely loathes those trashy “news” shows where every other story features a trollop with a trust fund? They are the TV equivalent to the tabloid papers; you know the ones – all the news that’s fit to line your bird cage with. But moving on…
Our very own style maven Blake is up next and here’s to hoping that he does well. I really want to get on the Blake-wagon again. Jon seems to be skeptical that Blake is putting his own spin on the classic “You Give Love a Bad Name.” Tonight he has gone all Hillary Duff and Cameron Diaz on us by dying his hair brown for no apparent reason at all. He does the beat boxing stuff right off the bat then hits it big time in the middle as he jams with the drummer. Otherwise his singing is just kinda meh and karaoke. I am not impressed with the Blakeman. The audience goes completely wild. Randy says it was the most original version of a song on AI ever and it was hot. Paula echoes Randy and adds that it was amazing. Were they watching the same show?? Simon says that half the audience will love it and half will hate it. Count me in the latter half. Simon himself is in the first. Ugh.
Chris is next but he first has to sit on the spaceship stools with Ryan. We want to know what he thinks of when he walks out of stage, and Chris is about as decipherable as that Nelly Fertado song but finally says “just have fun.”
Okay, right off the bat, I have to leave the room since Chris is doing a song that Chris Daughtry did last year, “Wanted Dead or Alive.” Double ugh. And Jon doesn’t seem to be too thrilled during the practice session either. I turn the volume down really low so that my dogs do not freak out on me, but that does not stop Chris from doing the “devil eyes” through the TV screen. Y’know he really is cute and I wish that his singing was not so appallingly bad. Let me guess, the judges will love this… My Kid and I take bets on it… Randy says he made it his own and he liked that baby. Paula says you did your thing. Simon ponders if it was good enough to stay in the competition or not. So I win 2/3 of the bet with My Kid. This time last year, I lost a cell phone bet with her (see the Kellie Pickler oustage entry for more details.)
Saving the best for last… Melinda!!! Jon tries to reassure her that she CAN rock and that she DOES have the chops and tells her to take it to church when she sings “Have a Nice Day.” She says okay, and jams out with them during practice. He then tells her that she can join his band and gives her a hug. This is most definitely the best practice session so far, as Jon looked overjoyed to work with Mel. She is so adorable trying to get the rock horns right. Once again, she proves that she has no boundaries, and once again I change who I love the most in this competition. It is Melinda Doolittle all the way. I want her CD RIGHT THIS MINUTE. Oh my gosh she is so good. It makes me so happy to watch her that I just want to cry. And yes I know that sounds like a paradox. What an amazing performer, I can not take my eyes off her. I rewind my DVR three times and watch it again before listening to the judges. Randy says she had a Tina Turner vibe going. Paula asks, “How does it feel to be a rock star?” Simon agrees with Randy and adds that vocally she was in a class all by herself. True absolutely true.
Surprisingly, now we have a word from our President of the U.S. and his First Lady, thanking America and AI for the money raised last week for the children. No matter what your politics may be, that was a sweet gesture.
Recap time… Phil is excellent, Jordin okay, LaKisha wonderful, Blake weird, Chris ugh, and Melinda fantastic!
My guesses to leave tomorrow are Chris (yay) and Phil (no yay, he was good and deserves to stay.)
Over all a very good night for 80s rock fans. Gotta hand it to the AI band, they jammed out big time. Very good show… now I need to go fill up my NetFlix queue with some of Jon Bon Jovi's vids. Hubba hubba. (-:
Jon Bon Jovi is on tonight y’all!! YAY!!
Since no one left during the Very Special Charity Ep, we still have our Original Six. Ryan has lost his razor, his tie, and his ability to match shirt and jacket. Big whoops coming from the audience tonight which includes both Gina and that skanky internet gal, can’t remember her name.
First off, Ryan gives a ginormous THANKS to everyone who donated last week to Idol Gives Back. 70 million dollars was raised. This is a very good thing, and not to take away from the magnitude of the venture, but… I heard on the radio today that NewsCorp is trying to buy the Wall Street Journal for five BILLION dollars. Yeah. Kinda makes that 5 mill they “donated” look like laundry tokens. Oh well…
On to Bon Jovi... Montage reminds us that they are a phenomenal 80s “vanilla rock” band, of the big hair and flashy clothes. These days, Jon looks better than ever; he has truly gotten better with age. Watching him on this show makes me want to watch that movie again, the one where he plays The Painter With No Name… hold on a sec while I confer with IMDB… Moonlight and Valentino – it is a decent movie and he is the most memorable part of it. I did not realize how many acting roles he has had. Cool. But I digress while lusting…
The contestants will be doing Bon Jovi songs tonight. Wow, what a concept – they are actually doing the songs of the coach/mentor of the week. First up is Phil, he of the sweet smile and Joan Crawford brows. During the practice session, Jon is very impressed with Phil, as he should be; the guy sings his butt off on “Blaze of Glory.” Phil comes out from the audience, all Hicks-like, and he does not miss a single note of this song. He’s wearing a cool jacket too; My Kid likes it a lot. Randy plugs that he recorded that song with Bon Jovi (Paula and Randy fake snore; I love it when they do that) and then tells Phil that it was his best since country week. Paula says it was the best show opener of the season so far. Simon says it was okay and then goes on and on with the negative vibe. I mean, it is so obvious that he wants him gone with a capital GONE. Navy buds sitting in the audience cheering him on, so Phil is a winner no matter what the results are tomorrow night.
Ryan chats with Gina in the audience, who looks a bit uncomfortable. She so totally knows that she should still be up there on that stage especially during rock week.
So Jordin is next and right off the bat she makes a big faux pas. Of course she is just a mere child and doesn’t know any better, but she tells Jon and his pianist that her Mom loves them. Oops, this is the one thing that no one likes to hear, especially celebs with their extra big egos. Tonight Jordin gets the 2-guitarists-on-the-stage-with-her treatment as she sings “Living on a Prayer.” She sports a Chaka Khan fro and (perhaps as a shout out to Gina?) she has some red streaks going. I adore Jordin and am pulling for her to win this thing… but this style of music is just not her. Bless her heart, she is out of her element and the low notes are painful. She brings it home though on the last few glory notes. Jordin agrees with the judges as they dis' her on her performance tonight; “I recognize,” she says. Paula tells her that she is still hot and understands how doing a song from a hot boy band would be hard. Simon says that it was terrible and her look is like something from out of the Addams Family. This nudges Ryan to call him Herman Munster, which is a different show but still funny. All making fun of Simon is good.
Ryan tries to get LaKisha to sit on the spaceship stool but she jokes that she wants the camera to get her “slim side.” The question of the week for LaKisha is about prior vocal training and she says that she learned in church. And she is gonna bring a little sumpin sumpin up in the house tonight.
Since LaKisha has only seen Bon Jovi on Oprah, she is not familiar with his music. So she is out of her comfort zone and trying to learn something brand new. She is going to sing a song I’ve never heard before, “This Ain’t a Love Song.” Jon is very impressed with her. At least she is not doing something that we have already heard a thousand times, and I am pretty sure that this has not been recorded by a previous Idol winner. (Snark.) LaKisha brings diva soul back with her rendition of this power ballad. I would buy this record RIGHT NOW. This is by far her best performance yet, based on the Aunt Pearl-o-meter. The audience certainly agrees, as they shout and cheer. Randy says she blew that out da box. Paula agrees that she gave everyone a little sumpin sumpin. Simon says, “I actually could kiss you after that” and then proceeds to do just that. Okay, that was awkward. But at least she seems to have a modicum of gratitude to still be in the contest.
Commercials… who besides me absolutely loathes those trashy “news” shows where every other story features a trollop with a trust fund? They are the TV equivalent to the tabloid papers; you know the ones – all the news that’s fit to line your bird cage with. But moving on…
Our very own style maven Blake is up next and here’s to hoping that he does well. I really want to get on the Blake-wagon again. Jon seems to be skeptical that Blake is putting his own spin on the classic “You Give Love a Bad Name.” Tonight he has gone all Hillary Duff and Cameron Diaz on us by dying his hair brown for no apparent reason at all. He does the beat boxing stuff right off the bat then hits it big time in the middle as he jams with the drummer. Otherwise his singing is just kinda meh and karaoke. I am not impressed with the Blakeman. The audience goes completely wild. Randy says it was the most original version of a song on AI ever and it was hot. Paula echoes Randy and adds that it was amazing. Were they watching the same show?? Simon says that half the audience will love it and half will hate it. Count me in the latter half. Simon himself is in the first. Ugh.
Chris is next but he first has to sit on the spaceship stools with Ryan. We want to know what he thinks of when he walks out of stage, and Chris is about as decipherable as that Nelly Fertado song but finally says “just have fun.”
Okay, right off the bat, I have to leave the room since Chris is doing a song that Chris Daughtry did last year, “Wanted Dead or Alive.” Double ugh. And Jon doesn’t seem to be too thrilled during the practice session either. I turn the volume down really low so that my dogs do not freak out on me, but that does not stop Chris from doing the “devil eyes” through the TV screen. Y’know he really is cute and I wish that his singing was not so appallingly bad. Let me guess, the judges will love this… My Kid and I take bets on it… Randy says he made it his own and he liked that baby. Paula says you did your thing. Simon ponders if it was good enough to stay in the competition or not. So I win 2/3 of the bet with My Kid. This time last year, I lost a cell phone bet with her (see the Kellie Pickler oustage entry for more details.)
Saving the best for last… Melinda!!! Jon tries to reassure her that she CAN rock and that she DOES have the chops and tells her to take it to church when she sings “Have a Nice Day.” She says okay, and jams out with them during practice. He then tells her that she can join his band and gives her a hug. This is most definitely the best practice session so far, as Jon looked overjoyed to work with Mel. She is so adorable trying to get the rock horns right. Once again, she proves that she has no boundaries, and once again I change who I love the most in this competition. It is Melinda Doolittle all the way. I want her CD RIGHT THIS MINUTE. Oh my gosh she is so good. It makes me so happy to watch her that I just want to cry. And yes I know that sounds like a paradox. What an amazing performer, I can not take my eyes off her. I rewind my DVR three times and watch it again before listening to the judges. Randy says she had a Tina Turner vibe going. Paula asks, “How does it feel to be a rock star?” Simon agrees with Randy and adds that vocally she was in a class all by herself. True absolutely true.
Surprisingly, now we have a word from our President of the U.S. and his First Lady, thanking America and AI for the money raised last week for the children. No matter what your politics may be, that was a sweet gesture.
Recap time… Phil is excellent, Jordin okay, LaKisha wonderful, Blake weird, Chris ugh, and Melinda fantastic!
My guesses to leave tomorrow are Chris (yay) and Phil (no yay, he was good and deserves to stay.)
Over all a very good night for 80s rock fans. Gotta hand it to the AI band, they jammed out big time. Very good show… now I need to go fill up my NetFlix queue with some of Jon Bon Jovi's vids. Hubba hubba. (-:
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