The Inspirations of a Baker’s Dozen

Tonight’s theme revolves around the contestants' Idols and who inspires them. Ironically, my inspiration has gone on a beach trip and is not here with me tonight. Watching the show without My Kid Tru will be way less fun, but at least I still have Kaylee the SuperPup.  She definitely has her favorites, but she’s not as good with the one-liners as my human daughter. Oh well, I will have to wing it on my own.

Seeing the judges come out arm in arm is such a refreshing change from seasons past. All three of them seem to actually want to be there. At least Steven did the first part of the season; now he seems to be on auto-pilot.  And has he always tied the bottom of his shirt in a knot like Daisy Duke?

Ryan mentions that the new song by J.Lo is number one and she’s like “what, that old thing?” (I wouldn’t brag about that horrid song overmuch, either.) She looks like she’s wearing the Gwen Stefani-hawked LeRouge lipstick. At least they’re all in the same L’Oréal family.

We are reminded that this week each singer worked with a Grammy-winning producer to fine tune their “song from their musical idols.” Jimmy I. is in the audience tonight to hear how it all turned out. He looks like my mechanic and mumbles like him too.

I am looking forward to hearing the studio versions of these songs when they’re posted later on iTunes, because they almost always sound better than the live versions.  

Speaking of “live,” once again, we are NOT. They have pre-recorded the performances “live in front of an audience.”  Not sure what Nigel and Company are up to, but the usual conspiracy theories abound!

As always, before each performance, we’ll see a snippet of the contestants’ interviews and background of their practice sessions with the producers.

It’s surprising that Lauren is up first in the “spot of doom” tonight. She is cute as always, although I don’t know who dressed her in a ruffled curtain. The producer she worked with looks like Waylon Jennings in his grungy days. It’s endearing that she is so young that she thinks that Shania Twain invented crossover country/pop. Obviously, nothing happened in the music world prior to 1995. Actually this makes me grin rather than groan; as my granny used to say, “Young’ens don’t know no better.” Lauren sings “Any Man of Mine” even though more than likely she has never even cooked dinner, much less “burned it black.” As expected, she does a good job, but it’s not too memorable. The judges are not completely dissatisfied but want her to step up her game and be more “kickass.” Lauren pouts prettily with some stank eye.

Next up is America’s beloved “lumberjack” and our very favorite, Casey. I can’t put my finger on what it is about this guy that is so appealing. He is rumpled and gruff and so deadpan; the combination is irresistible. He is inspired by Joe Cocker and is doing the theme song from The Wonder Years. Actually this song was done by the Beatles first but they’ve already had their week. The picture they show of him as a kid is adorable. Casey starts out by sitting on the steps, and by the time he gets to the “With a Little Help from My Friends” part, he’s on his feet. He grins when he sings about “getting high.” It’s neat how he incorporates the back-up singers into his performance. The judges and the audience love him as they should. It’s cute how he gestures to the crowd to tone it down so Jen can speak. Love this guy, “unghh!”

So it seems that Ashthon is one of the contestants that takes the judges’ advice literally. Last week she was compared to Diana Ross, mostly due to ten-feet-wide hair and diva-tude. This week she has decided to sing a Diana song; what a coinkydink! I wish she was doing my favorite song from Ms. Ross, the one from the movie Mahogany. Instead, Ashthon is doing “When You Tell Me That You Love Me,” a nice enough song but kind of a snoozer. I am so distracted by the silver eye shadow that her singing doesn’t really sway me. Too many "heys!" She sounded so much better in the studio clip. The judges pretend to be excited because they picked her as the Wild Card; Randy seems embarrassed that Barry Gordy is in the audience. Ashthon is a nice girl, but Kendra should have been on that stage tonight instead.

Next up is Paul, he with the startling white teeth – someone get him a Crest deal, stat – and kooky dance moves. I like Paul a lot, but each time he performs on Idol, it makes me enjoy his own songs more. Just google Grand Magnolias and you will know that Paul is a great singer and that he wears that funky jacket a lot. I am not familiar with his idol, Ryan (not Bryan) Adams. Tonight Paul sings a song that I have never heard before, something about “stealing all his records.” Does this generation of kids even know about records? They are called “digital downloads” now, but that is too wordy for lyrical purposes I suppose. Paul’s vocal is weak on this song, not his best work for sure, but the judges don’t hatchet him too badly. Funny man Ryan does the McDonald Two Step and gets a Charley horse. That guy sure earns his money.

Ryan is on the chat stools with Pia to talk about how different she looks away from the spotlight. (Not really.)  She is barely recognizable un-glam’d, and it’s sweet that she is so family oriented. As any long time AI fan knows, there are certain singers who shouldn’t be covered on this show. One of these “untouchables” is Celine Dion, but that is not stopping the lovely Pia from trying. Tonight, she is doing the Celine version of the old 70’s song “All By Myself.” They should have just renamed this week’s theme “covers of covers.” What I like about Pia is that she stands there and sings but not in a pageant-bot way. She doesn’t grandstand or try to “sexy up” her performance, which is admirable. Her voice soars and shines and she does justice to the song. The judges are excited about her, deservedly so. 

It seems that the stylists have made some improvements with James, who looks more subdued tonight. He has a nice Seacrest haircut and a dangly earring. I was expecting his musical idol to be someone from the hard rock or metal genre but he is constantly surprising us. Tonight he is singing a Paul McCartney song called “Maybe I’m Amazed.”  His voice is really very nice when he is not screechy.  If Tru was here she’d be gloating right now, because James has been one of her favorites all along.  Chatter on the ‘net keeps comparing James to Adam Lambert, but I disagree. Adam is more Broadway-ish. James proves that he is not a one trick pony and delivers a solid performance. The judges like his singing and his new “tail-less” outfit. It’s funny because I remember him saying he wouldn’t ditch it. He just gave it to Pia.

Next up is Haley and she reminds me of Claire Bennet on Heroes, if she'd ever made it to prom. Haley is doing the song that started LeAnn Rimes' career back when she was 13. “Blue” was originally written for Patsy Cline, a tidbit of trivia to which these youngsters (all together now) say who? Haley worked with a duo of producers with the weird name of Rock Mafia. I have to admit that I am impressed with Haley’s take on the song; she yodels it just like LeAnn did way back in the day, but Haley adds a cabaret vibe. She sings a sad song with a smile though, not good. In her pre-song video, she says that she’s been singing this since she was 8 years old and you can tell she is comfortable with it. Randy is the only judge who was “sleepy.” Jen reminds everyone that Haley is a sex bomb and ST is like “Wow. Boobs.”

We learn the ins and outs of the spa business from Jacob when he sits on the Coke Lava seats with Ryan. Because he has never read the tabloids, Jacob says his musical idol is R. Kelly. There is no reason in the world for that other than for the excuse to sing the over-done “I Believe I Can Fly.” Well, I believe that Jacob looks like a televangelist, but with earrings. It’s fitting, since he gets the entire AI choir up on the stage tonight. I want to like Jacob’s performance because I like him, but there is something off about his rendition. My puppy has fled the room in terror. I can’t help but grin as I remember that My Kid Tru sang this song at her pre-school graduation. The judges have no bad words to say about it; they are bragging on their "discovery." It makes me think that they are listening to a different show that the one on my TV.

Another gal to take the judges’ comments directly to heart is Thia Bot. I know, I know. I shouldn’t be so harsh; she is just a tiny, defenseless thing. So Randy compared her to Michael Jackson so she’s decided he is her musical idol. Okay. Thia is pretty and articulate, but has no idea who Charlie Chaplin is, and why should she really? “The Little Tramp” applies to a different Charlie these days. ("Duh! Winning.") Tonight Thia sings “Smile,” the song that got Gina Glocksen voted off in season five. Why do I remember these things, you ask? Just look at the title of this blog and you will know. (Grin.) Thia’s performance gives me a chance to doze off and when I awaken, I learn that she started slow then jazzed it up a bit. Interesting, so I rewind it, then nap again. One thing’s for sure, Thia is way more mature than Miss Pouty McLauren.

One hundred thousand commercial interludes, which gives us a chance to see movie trailers. Who knew that Sydney Bristow’s lovelorn friend Will from Alias would grow up to be the hot Bradley Cooper?

Ryan and Steven have a funny interaction at ST’s “work station.” I get the glasses and fan but why does he need 800 pencils? At least he’s awake tonight.

I can totally buy that Stefano’s musical idol is Stevie Wonder because he has that vibe. I like him and am really glad that he was a Wild Card pick last week. In a ball cap, he looks 12 instead of 21 which makes me giggle. On stage he does a slow-then-disco version of “Lately” and he sounds really good, even though the arrangement is unusual. He’s like an older and wiser David Archuleta and very authentic. When he sings that he is a “man of many wishes,” I believe it.  One thing I have noticed about all the performances tonight so far is that they are very stylized. It must be the influence of working with the professionals. At any rate, the judges are over the moon for Stefano; he’s like a “soaring volcano.” I am impressed by his humility and that he credits God for being alive. His tie and jacket combo is cute too.

We have to give Karen credit for mixing things up and getting out of the pageant-bot mode tonight. She is wearing a sexy jumpsuit and sleek ponytail/extension. In her interview she talks about being a Selena fan, to the point of playing dress up. (I can remember the days of dressing up like my favorite singer Linda Ronstadt. Ah, nostalgia.) Karen will be doing one of Selena’s songs tonight and she co-designed the outfit. Am not sure if the song is well known or not – it’s called “I Could Fall in Love.”  The positive thing about doing obscure songs is that the basis for comparison is not as great. There is not much that can save Karen at this point though. She is not doing well, even though this is the prettiest she’s ever looked on the show. By the end she blames the sound quality, and even Jen uses that excuse for her.

Today is my hubby’s birthday so I stopped by the grocery store to get him a cake. I tell you this because the store I went to was in Garner, hometown of the next contestant, Scotty. In the bakery there was a display with his photograph and a table full of giant cookies, cupcakes, and cakes decorated with “Vote for Scotty McCreery!” This is either some good hometown support, or he has relatives at Lowes Foods. He definitely has fans in the audience, as they are shouting his name loudly. Scotty talks to Ryan about missing baseball while the Coke logo swirls in the background. Staying true to himself, Scotty performs a Garth (ugh) Brooks song called “The River.” I guess he could have picked a more boring song but no, it’s this one. He “sails his vessel” as well as always, practically flawless. The judges are delighted with him.

Up last in the “pimp spot” is funky cool Naima. She is the other Wild Card save from last week that we are thrilled with. Her sense of style, personality, and amazing voice all add up to greatness for this show.  Tonight she is doing the Rihanna hit “Umbrella,” which you can’t say without adding “ella ella ay ay ay.” Wow she is good! Her voice is equal to the original (when she does it live) and then! She totally mixes up the arrangement, adds some funky reggae/rap, complete with “lightning bolt” effects. There were a couple of breathless moments but that’s okay. I believe her when she sings she’ll “be here forever.” This was the best produced of the night and it probably helped that Naima's producer “Tricky” worked on the original song. The audience and judges are wowed; it’s a wonderful way to close the show tonight.

The judges sum up the “Lucky 13” and for some reason “a minute forty” is very important to them. A rundown of who did what because we have short attention spans. I will be downloading Casey, James and Naima from iTunes.

Quotes from tonight:

Ryan: I gotta stretch before I do this stuff.

Steven: Happy International Woman’s Day, by the way.

Jen: Let 'em clap, baby, when they want to clap.

Randy: You know, like I'm at a luau.
Jimmy (to Stefano): Paula felt it right away when she looked at you. (Um, I think he meant Jennifer!)

Word of the day brought to us from Naima: “overstand”

Tomorrow night one of the 13 will be going home. Will it be Ashthon or Karen?  Idol’s own Adam Lambert will be guest starring as well as some “Dirty” something or other. In the meantime, as Jimmy told Karen – don’t sing, talk, call, or even email. He didn’t say anything about texting or facebook. Or online voting!