We are reminded that the world is full of tragedy, but we can help. The judges and Ryan explain how. When you download the iTunes performances from tonight’s show, the proceeds will go to the American Red Cross relief fund for the disaster in Japan.
Also terrible – a flu bug has hit the Idol Mansion and almost everyone is sick. The jaded side of me is thinking that this happens every year, right around this time. What is it with St. Patrick’s Day and ill AI contestants? They seem to go hand in hand. Allergy season maybe?
It is very difficult to sing with a cold that is for sure. I’ve had to cancel church solos a few times because I didn’t want to praise the Lord by sounding like a howling dog. So I have to give creds for these guys and gals trying tonight.
I think we are actually "live" tonight, the first of the performance eps so far. We are reminded that the voters and judges sent Ashthon back home to Tennessee last week. Random thought: has anyone else noticed that Steven looks like he could be Susan Lucci’s older sister?
Tonight’s theme is a familiar one – Songs From Birth Year. We should expect some 80s and 90s Whitney Houston and who knows what else this evening. Also – baby pictures galore and interviews with proud moms and dads.
First up is Naima, the “exotic flower” and after seeing her adorable parents it’s clear where she gets her fashion sense. Tonight she’s doing Tina Turner’s “What’s Love Got to Do With It” from 1984. With help from the producers she will put a modern spin on it. Probably not with lightening this week though. It sounds like they added a drum beat to the forefront; Naima doesn’t sing the song perfectly but it’s okay. She is one of those singers who sounds 100 times better on the recorded versions; I’ve played last week’s “Umbrella” over and over. ST’s only concern is that Naima has been shopping in his Dynasty closet, but Jen isn’t having any more of that pitchiness mess. Randy agrees, although he gives props to the musicians for letting the beat rock. Naima promises to get her pitch together if it’s not too late.
Paul’s parents tell us that he has always been the center of attention and that he has always been gorgeous. They have no idea where he gets his “it” factor. Paul was born in 1984 so he’s doing Elton John’s “I Guess that’s Why They Call it the Blues.” Jimmy I. begs him to please bring his full voice to the stage. And less chicken arm maybe. Not so much, Paul replies. My Kid Tru and I disagree about Paul; she loves him. I think he’s pretty but sounds Like Macy Gray on helium, and she already sounds like she’s been sucking on a balloon so that is really redundant. As Paul says “right on.” Per twitter-land the kids could use instruments tonight and I wish Paul had done that. The judges still love him but call him on pitch issues. Randy’s confused by ST’s “cool dude in a loose mood” statement. Ryan won’t explain.
The fact that Thia was born in 1995 makes Ryan giggle. Maybe because “born” isn’t the right word, it should be “assembled.” Thia’s parents are cute even though her mom is the only one who talks. Thia is proud that she wrote a song when she was six. The memory should be vivid since it was last week. It stands to reason that Thia would be doing “Colors of the Wind” because she looks like Pocahontas. As with most of Thia’s performances, it’s nap time. Before she even gets to the “blue corn moon” part, we’re snoozing. While the audience boos, Randy tries to explain how boring this Disney crap is, but her fans just aren’t having it. Nice aunts ST and Jen try to further explain, and hopefully she will compute this data. Nice shout out to Peggi Blu, the “vocal coach from hell” who is actually very nice per Thia Bot.
On the chat stools Ryan mentions that big stars are in the audience then totally embarrasses Kate Hudson. James discusses the band that he’s formed with other contestants. His sweet mom talks about what a cheeseball ham James was when he was a kid. He was the cutest toddler ever, singing to his dolls. Tonight he’s doing a Bon Jovi song from 1989 called “I’ll Be There for You.” Avatar fans will be glad that he has the Na’vi-like scarf back, but he isn’t singing his best on stage. He is another one who sounds a lot better on the recorded version. The judges are totally buying what The Durbs is selling and don’t really call him on his pitch problems. James has already placed himself, dog-collar-cuffed boots and “inner crazy” in the finale. Good thing he reminded everyone he’s already taken. (Insert eye roll here.)
We learn that Haley was born on 9/9/90 at 9 AM, and she looks exactly like her mom. Her parents sing in a blues band and we hear a snippet of them doing “Black Velvet.” I wish she was doing that instead of Whitney’s “I’m Your Baby Tonight.” Jimmy I. warns Haley about her work ethic; wonder what THAT was about. Haley looks pretty in red but this song is not a good choice for her. She is parts nasally and howly and we can’t understand a single word she shrieks except “baby.” Funny how Jen starts her lecture with “baby” also. Yikes, smeared red lipstick is gross and Ryan can’t stand it anymore! At least this is a good distraction from the judges trying to explain to Haley about how confusing it is that every week she does something totally different. Why can’t she be more like Janis Joplin or by golly her own parents?
Stefano still looks like a baby in the face, and we learn from his lovely parents that he has always been musical. I am glad that they don’t talk about the car accident again or I would be bawling! After making fun of everyone from Tone Loc to NKOB, Stefano decides to do the 1989 Simply Red version of “If You Don’t Know Me By Now.” This song stands out for me because I remember that both Carrie and A-Fed sang this on the same night back in season four. (Tru wishes that I would use my limited memory cells for more important things.) We like Stefano but his sarcasm in the clip was off-putting. At least he sings practically perfectly until that last yikes-filled note. The crowd goes so wild that Randy can barely name-drop Teddy Pendergrass. “10-10-10” indeed and courtesy of ST, the new word of the day is “famouser.”
According to Pia’s parents, she was a superstar diva in the making with she was little. Pia was close to her late grandfather and gets choked up talking about it. The producer named Rodney promises us that she will do justice to “Where Do Broken Hearts Go,” another (ugh) Whitney song. Did no one else make records in 1988? Pia starts out a bit shaky but delivers a solid performance; we’re just not amazed by it. The arrangement has been made into an upbeat disco-era ditty. This matches her white jumpsuit and the fluorescent pink swirlies in the background. What are they trying to sell us, Bubble Yum? The judges love super producer Rodney and glorious Pia and her angel grandpa and how perfect she is. Pia is “what AI is all about” and she is “in this thing to win it.” Ryan is hilarious, mocking Randy’s pointing finger.
Ryan lets Steven do the intro for the pre-package of Scotty tonight. We learn that his mom called him a “chunky monkey” baby and that he idolized Elvis at an early age. They attempt the “baby lock them doors” line that has made Scotty so popular this year. He is such a sweetie-pie, there is no doubt. He’s worried about having to change from country, but Jimmy I. reassures him that everyone knows where the bread is buttered. Tonight Scotty’s doing Travis Tritt’s 1993 hit “Can I Trust You with My Heart.” I hope that the McCreerys haven’t seen the racy music video for this song. It would have been better if Scotty had done “T.R.O.U.B.L.E.” from the same year instead of this one. He sings as well as always and looks like Alfred E. Neuman more than ever. The judges believe in young Scotty and his “country lane.”
On the chat stools with Ryan, Karen talks about MySpace, her sister’s crush on some Jonas Brother, and her weirdass hairdo. She looks like a space-age version of Holly Golightly. Her mother is very sweet and thank goodness for subtitles, so we know that Karen is her “Oscar.” She also has a beautiful singing voice. Karen has made her mark on the contest this year as she reminds us over and over that she is Latina baby! Then she tells Jimmy I. that she doesn’t want to be known as the Spanish singer so we’re confused now. She is another contestant that was born in 1989, and she will be doing “Love Will Lead You Back.” It isn’t the best choice for Karen, but she certainly does better than that horrid Mikalah person back in the season of Carrie U. The judges go easy on Karen in spite of some off-key notes.
Ryan sits in the audience in between that crazy lady from the dancing show and Tamyra from season one of Idol. Not sure why he doesn’t talk to Carly Smithson who is right there in the screen shot.
Tamyra tells Ryan that she loves Casey which leads us to his parents’ story. They waited until their 40s to have him, in 1991. Casey is proud of them and how his mom uses the word “pedantic;” it’s evident where he gets his sense of humor. My Kid Tru is a big fan of Nirvana and is glad that two of her favorite things are being combined – Casey and “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” I’ve been a fan of Casey’s from the very beginning, but his rendition seems like a skit on SNL to me. He comes across as a comedian playing a role as a rocker, like Jack Black in School of Rock, or when Will Ferrell was on Conan that time. At least they let him play the guitar tonight. The judges love how unique he is, but Jen rightfully calls him on being screechy-screamy. Randy name drops for one hundred years. I hope Casey keeps the ego in check.
Now we have doped-up-on-cold-meds Lauren on the chat stools with poor meticulous Ryan. This chick is increasingly working my last nerve. It’s weird how her mom looks (and dresses) the same age as Lauren does. We learn in their interview that for the first three years of her life Lauren was not a brat. Her dad is so darn sweet that it makes me cry. Lauren’s birth year is 1994 so she’s doing “I’m the Only One.” Maybe she’s taking her comparison to Pickler seriously since she did this song too back in her very horrific day. Hopefully Steven won’t call her a minx (“whut’s a mink?”) Lauren sounds fine vocally as always, but she doesn’t get the fiery screensaver like Kellie, and she doesn’t seem as energetic. After diagnosing her with everything from a bad cold to strep throat, the judges tell Lauren “she’s back!”
The last one up tonight is Jacob, who says he has no idea where he gets his talent. His pre-package is the best one because his cute mom says that she can sing and she very clearly is mistaken. Did Jacob just say that he is doing “Alone” by Heart? This can’t be the only song from 1987 for sure. I usually like it when guys sing songs made famous by women (such as David Cook doing Mariah that awesome time), but this is a bad idea. This song has already been done to death on the show. Jimmy I. talks to Jacob about how a lot of the R&B greats came from gospel, which has nothing to do with the massacring to come. Four notes in and he has already put the “Lusky stank” on it. I can’t even listen to the judges pour admiration on him, because I have to find my puppy who has fled in terror. My heart can’t take it, pardon the pun.
Quotes from tonight:
ST: I’ve got leftover sandwiches under my bed older than you!
Randy: Help us with our make-up too, Ryan.
Haley: At least I let my mouth go with the flow.
Ryan: Go hug your mom! Go hug your mom!
ST: Remember - perfect pitch isn’t just in baseball.
ST: I love when you break into your “ethnic what-it-is-ness”
It’s recap time and I don’t even know who to vote for based on their performances tonight. No wonder Nigel hasn’t let them sing “live and for real we mean live” until now.
The judges say that we have a “fierce hot competition!” Who will be sent packing tomorrow? My guess is either Haley or Karen since they were both in the bottom last week.
Tomorrow night’s results show will also include performances by last year’s winner Lee DeWyze as well as the Black Eyed Peas. Until then, I’ll be trying to get Kurt Cobain unstuck from my head. (“Hello hello hello hello, how low…”)
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