It’s Results Night - “Where You At?”

Some random thoughts that I had while waiting for the show to begin tonight… the songs on last night’s performance show made me nostalgic enough to break out my Linda Ronstadt collection of Greatest Hits. She did some great Motown covers. Linda was my singing Idol when I was growing up and I love her to this day. One of my best childhood memories was seeing her in concert when I was fifteen. But I digress because …

“No one is safe…  Expect the unexpected.” Nice intro with the records. Some younger folks won’t know what those things are. I can hear it now… “Mom, why are those CDs so big and how do I get a cool label like that?”

Last night we saw some Motown… Casey knows that a man ain’t supposed to cry, Thia feels this burning pain, Jacob threw his pride away for us, Lauren just wants to make a new start, Stefano wonders where we are and what we do, Haley doesn’t like you but she loves you, Scotty can go unafraid where life leads him, Pia thinks love’s a crazy game, Paul might be laughin’ loud and hearty, Naima is ready for a brand new beat, James was born in hard-time Mississippi.

Hark the judges’ arrival to the stage… Is Cleopatra J.Lo the prettiest person on this or any other planet? I am thinking yes.

Ryan tells us that country super group Sugarland will be performing tonight as well as “Idol’s own” Jennifer Hudson. He says to expect lots of shocking surprises this evening.  As we all know, tonight determines which ten singers will participate in the summer tour.

The top 11 come out and they are dressed like they’re at Idol Gives Back. All of them are as gorgeous as can be. This is just a night for eye candy all the way around. Lauren is rocking the cocktail dress /cowgirl boot combo.

We find out that Jen’s husband Marc Anthony worked with the contestants this week, to help them learn how to sing better live. He explains to them (and to us) how to use the in-ear monitor. Since the singers sounded 99% better last night than they did last week, then hurray to Mr. Anthony for his help. They should totally let him stick around. 

For the group sing-a-long the top 11 do “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” and I’m more impressed each week by these kids. The choreography is still corny but that is what these things are made of. Reverend Lusk takes everybody to church.

Then! The big Idol door opens and the contestants make way for … a surprise visit from Stevie Wonder!  He sings “Signed Sealed Delivered,” then everyone joins in for a “Happy Birthday” surprise for Steven T. Now I want cake. (Hopefully someone tells the 63-year-old that he doesn't look "a day over fabulous!") ST seems blown away by the festivities, and he and his mis-matched scarves are “speechless!” I have to admit this show is bringing a tear to my eye. So much love for it!!

So I read on the web that the contestants have had to vacate the Idol mansion because it’s “haunted.” There have been reports of flickering lights, floating sheets, and a spider invasion. (Of course the source is shaky; I won’t say who but it starts with a T and ends with a Z with an M in the middle.)

The Ford music video is for the Hybrid and for the third week in a row, they do a song I’ve never heard before "All this Beauty," set in the rain. They make this one a combination of car commercial/PSA for recycling/rain gear ad.

Now for the "tough part" with some dimming lights … Lauren, Pia, and Scotty are called to center stage first. Ryan teases them about packing bags, but it’s all good and they are all safe. Somebody gets a bleep.

Sugarland is up next and I don’t know much about country music anymore; they’re doing a song called “Stuck Like Glue.”  I have a friend whose little grandson adores them. The lead singer is blonde and pretty and wears every neon color of the rainbow all together in one outfit. Did she borrow from Olivia Newton-John’s aerobics-wear closet circa 1981? She has a great voice and there's an interesting interlude in the middle of the song. Must google them ... I like this one better.

I realize it’s filler, but I like the segment on results night that features the contestants being interviewed. This week it’s all about James being a wrestling fan. Then there’s a clip of James and Paul having a fake wrestling match, with Naima as emcee and Pia as either referee or another opponent. It’s hilarious and nice to see them having fun, and good to see Pia come out of her shell a little. James says “eat your heart out Hulk Hogan” and Paul body slams him. LOLz!

Fun time is over as they dim the lights again and bring Paul and James to the stage. Ryan says that neither of them are safe. And he is dead serious. Because! The big Idol door opens again and it’s Hulk Hogan! Challenge accepted Durbs!  Hulk tells James and Paul that they are indeed safe, but poor Ryan gets a faux punch and toss into the audience. I don’t even want to think about Hogan’s shirt ripping; that was just too gross.

This was a fun and entertaining skit, but the only thing that bothered me about it is that Stefano also mentioned in his interview that Hogan was his favorite. He’s over on the bench though, probably thinking “where’s my tee shirt?”

Next to come to the front are Jacob, Thia, and Stefano. Jacob is sent to the top ten right away, yes Lord! Thia and Stefano are both in the bottom 3. The crowd is not pleased with this news.

Now Naima, Haley, and Casey come on down. Naima and her gigantic ring are safe, yay! I know I've said it a thousand times - her iTunes downloads are awesome. Haley has already accepted the fact that she’s getting a stool. (Remember Kristy Lee Cook and her sticky note? Good times.) But! Ryan reveals that it’s actually Casey in the bottom 3. Surprise. Gasp. Dismaying moans from the crowd. So the “shock” that Nigel tweeted about earlier today is actually happening. Yikes.

While we ponder this mystery, the amazing Jennifer Hudson is up next. Ryan reminds us that she is an Oscar winner, SIMON!  She was terrific in one of my favorite movies The Secret Life of Bees, and she is coming this-close to inspiring me to join WW. Tonight she looks gorgeous and is doing her new single “Where You At?” (which is a very common text message question, I do believe.)  JHud proves that you CAN sing a slow song without being a snoozefest. (Thia and Pia, please take notes.) After her performance, we learn that George Huff is one of her back-up singers. He was one of my favorites in season three.

Speaking of texting, I quickly text My Kid Tru that she needs to come to the living room please, because I need moral support! Why? Because Thia has been sent to safety and the bottom 2 are Casey and Stefano. 

Tru says that she hasn’t been this p.o’d about a TV show since Chris Daughtry was voted off in season 5. I remember that episode and what happened afterward. (Looking back it all worked out best for Chris though.)

But that was then and here we are now and Ryan says words that I don’t believe. “The person with the lowest number of votes is ... Casey.” WTH for a million years, show?  Stefano hugs Casey for so long that Ryan has to tell him to go sit down. And now Casey has to do the obligatory Sing for Your Life song and hope for a Judges' Save.

Casey opts to sing the song that he did for his first audition, something about needing a doctor, or not needing one, or something like that. Dang, I need one. Before he can get more than a few lines of the song in, Randy interrupts the band and they tell him to stop.

Holy shizz! The judges tell Casey that they know who he is; they don’t need to hear anymore. They realize that he has pulled some shenanigans over the past couple of weeks and maybe he’s alienated a few fans. But they are going to use their ONE save this season on him.

At this point, Casey is bowled over with astonishment and gratitude, plus I think he threw up in his mouth a little bit. I just about had a heart attack my own self. Casey thanks the judges and Ryan and a lot of bleeping ensues. When Casey goes to hug his mom and she says she loves him, that’s it for me. I am a sobbing mess! 

Tru and I adore Casey and are still appalled that he was voted off. I follow at least a dozen AI websites and he has been at or near the top of all the online polls since the beginning. What is it with these “interwebs?” This data does not compute.

I almost want to call BS on this whole thing, but whether it’s truth or staged, the mission has been accomplished. Hopefully Casey will listen to the advice that mama Jen so lovingly provides and dial it down a notch. They want him to bring back the musician they heard back in Hollywood week when he was at his most awesome. We just hope that he doesn’t change his Fraggle Rock meets Fozzy Bear level of adorableness. That would be a shame.

Next week, the bad news is that there will be two folks going home. The good news is that the tour this summer will consist of the Top 11. So they all get to go, and based on their work last night, this is great news.

Best quote from tonight:

Marc (when Jen told a contestant that she is not usually speechless):  That’s the biggest truism she has ever uttered… just kidding.

I am going to de-stress by listening to Dr. Dre’s “I Need a Doctor” about a zillion times. If I’m still living, I’ll be watching next week. Chatter on the 'net says that the theme will be Elton John songs. But that 'net is not trustworthy as we learned tonight!