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Thursday, March 10, 2011

Who Will Survive the AFTERMATH?



















So, I read that Simon was on the Piers Morgan Tonight show, which is fitting because Mr. Morgan is just as caustic as Mr. Cowell. Piers is also a judge on America’s Got Talent and if you’ve never watched it, you’re missing… well not much. Except for Sharon Osborne who is great, per My Kid Tru. Anyway, Simon said “I personally think AI is a better show than last year. It feels to me they’ve got their energy back, they’re confident, they’re competitive." That was a cool thing for him to say. I am looking forward to The X Factor when it debuts in the fall.

Tonight is dreaded results night. Who will be the first to go home? Will the judges use the Infamous Idol Save? My guess is no, not at this point. I really like the editing on the show this season; they have kicked the “previously on” segment up a notch.   

Last night - Lauren wanted a teasing squeezing pleasing kinda time, Casey got by with a little help from his friends, Ashthon needed your love to make her stronger HEY, Paul wanted us to steal all his records for some reason, Pia didn't wanna be all by herself anymooooore, James was maybe the only man amazed by this whole thing, Haley yodeled that she's oh so lonesome for you, Jacob and his choir took R. Kelly to church and left him there, Thia smiled all the way through a sad song, Stefano boogies with Stevie at the discotheque, Karen wants to fall in love with so many bracelets, Scotty is like a vessel sailing his bird upon the wind, Naima will be here forever making lightening. 

The judges are the embodiment of diversity. Randy thinks it’s Casual Friday and Jen’s wearing half of a marshmallow. Steven is on leave from the Black Pearl. Argh! Ryan’s in the undertaker suit again. Has he become like Matlock, a one-style-suit wonder?

This evening we have two guest stars. Someone named Diddy Dirty Money and "the electric" Adam Lambert are here. I have no idea who the first one is but curiosity has me wondering if it’s the artist formerly known as J.Lo’s ex-boyfriend? Must google. Indeed, it is, however it’s more than that, it’s a band. Okay. I suppose in Hollywood exes run into each other all the time, so maybe this won't be too awkward.

Thirty million votes came in last night and I wonder how many of those were cast online. I’m really glad they added that feature this year. Not sure what took them so long to discover the “interwebs!”

After the finalists come out to the stage, Ryan tells us that Casey is in the hospital again. Casey is the favorite of My Kid Tru and me. She is at the beach and probably not watching, so I text her right away to “PRAY FOR CASEY!” Of course, I’m so slow at texting that he is probably out by the time I finish.

We see the contestants take on the “good life” as they frolic at the AI mansion. It’s always cute to see janitors and camp counselors and high school kids get a taste of “royalty.” They have to share rooms though which makes no sense to me. Maybe they are sharing these digs with The Bachelor contestants or perhaps Real World. (If so: DON'T DRINK THE WATER! Skank might be contagious.)

Group Sing Time! A Michael Jackson medley!  First question - are they live or Memorex? Or a combination? After a while it’s evident that they are lip-synching. I don’t have an issue with this part of the show being pre-recorded. It’s so much easier on the ears of the viewing audience. I really miss Casey during this though and hope he gets well soon.

More fun with this week’s Ford music video, which is just as confusing as most other music videos these days. They are singing a song called "The World" which I’ve never heard. I notice that Pia looks like a cross between Detective Kate Beckett and Salma Hayek. The Focus is the car, pardon the pun. Casey is also missing from this video, bummer. 

The busy contestants also attended the Red Riding Hood movie premiere. Ryan sits and talks to the actress who starred in that film, Amanda someone. I remember her from Mean Girls and wish she would say “that’s so fetch,” but she doesn’t.  The kids have a blast at the event, meeting stars and starlets that we’ve never heard of which is always exciting.

Finally, dimming the lights for some results. First up are Jacob, Karen and Stefano. This part of the show is so intense, with reminders of good/ bad/ indifferent performances. Tricky Ryan sends Karen to the bottom three. We all know that technical difficulties are to blame for this. (Insert eye roll here.)

From the audience, Ryan introduces Adam Lambert back to the Idol stage. Adam is doing the acoustic version of a song called “Aftermath.” A dance remix is available online and the proceeds go to Anti-Bullying campaign awareness. Adam is gorgeous and with the haircut he reminds me of the actor who played The King in the telepic Elvis and Me. Adam sings great even dialed down; just one glory note toward the end. James is taking notes we hope. They go on for a thousand years about some dance called The Dougie. If Ryan Seacrest was a Dancing with the Stars contestant, I would totally watch.

Now who will join Karen in the bottom three? Someone named Kieran will dim the lights as Lauren, Ashthon and Haley take the stage. Lauren begs for forgiveness at the same time as shooting evil eye at the judges. Ryan tells her she made it before she has a nervous breakdown and I notice her mom has a great wig. Haley is wearing feathers from the Steven Tyler collection. Jen thinks she looks like Stevie Nicks and before I can yell “no” at the TV, Ryan sends both Ashthon and Haley to the bottom three stools.

That means that the rest of the kids, including hospitalized Casey, are safe. To paraphrase Captain Malcolm Reynolds, they just “sit there and be ironical.” Ryan has to yell at them to be happy and excited that they are going on to next week. A little celebration! Karen and Ashthon and Haley are officially bottom three. That was really quick.

It’s time for Diddy Dirty Money featuring Skylar Grey. They do that “tell the world I’m coming home” song that I liked so much as background music earlier this season. The gal on piano I’m assuming is the “featured” part of the group. She sings real pretty, and then Diddy takes over with soulful background singers for awhile. I like Skylar just by herself and because this song is one hundred minutes long, I have time to google her. She used to record under the name of Holly Brook and being a guest vocalist is her forte. She also wrote the Rihanna part of the Eminem song about Megan Fox and Charlie from Lost beating up on each other. You learn so much from Wikipedia!

Back to our bottom three – Karen is safe. Haley is safe. Ashthon will be singing one last time, hoping for a Judges' Save. Even though earlier she apologized for doing the Diana Ross song, she decides to do it one more time. Okay. My puppy and I can’t sit through this again, so I turn the volume down and just think about how pretty Ashthon looks tonight with her hair pulled back. She is also wearing half of ST’s fuchsia shirt from last week.

Unfortunately the judges do not “Tell Me That You Love Me” to her and after Jen says "I'm sorry baby" one hundred times, Ashthon is going home. In her exit montage, we are reminded that she is a girl of faith, the "whole package," she’s fun and was labeled a diva because they needed one this year. The first one to hug her good-bye is Naima and we can hear someone (Jacob probably) giving her a pep talk.

Quotes:
Stefano: Casey definitely looks most like the werewolf.  Casey: Grrrrrrrrrrrr!
Sean Combs Puff Daddy P. Diddy: Keep God first in your life.

The exit song this year is by my very favorite American Idol, David Cook. It’s a remake of the song from the Breakfast Club. The full version is available on his official website. ‘Til next week “don’t don’t don’t don’t you forget about me.”

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