March 8, 2007
Before you can say boo the group sing begins… and here we are, “stuck in the middle” with them. The lyrics are so appropriate, as indeed there are “clowns to the left” and “jokers to the right.” Not really any vocal stand-outs during this song, except Sundance gets some quality hollering time at the end.
Ryan says that 37 million votes were cast and we have 12 empty bowls, er seats to fill. Those seats look strangely like ice cream dishes, or maybe I am just hungry.
Then the recaps ... Blake mixes it up, Chris R. wants to cry, Phil needs you. Paula rips Jared and Sanjaya new ones. Sundance rocks Pearl Jam, Brandon tries to celebrate, Sligh wants to be loved. Jordin is a heartbreaker, Gina exposes her rock roots. Contemporary R&B from Sabrina and Stephanie. Not much love going out to sweet Haley or Antonella. LaKisha has nothing except maybe the title of next American Idol but wait - Melinda is a Tiger WOMAN.
Now quick-like-a-bunny, it’s time to shatter someone’s dreams. Safe in this order: Blake and LaKisha (brought up together for reasons known only to TIIC); Chris Sligh, Jordin, Phil (!!), then Jared is told that the journey ends for him tonight. Jared is shocked but his sing-out reinforces that America “didn’t really love” the handsome singer.
Next, we have the asinine trivia question, in which Daughtry is the correct answer.
Then Ryan asks both back-up singers to come up, Brandon and Melinda. They are both safe, YAY! Chris R. and Gina are brought up and before Ryan can even begin to start a “love connection,” Gina nips it in the bud. They are both safe.
Highlights of Carrie Underwood’s pre-during-and post-Idol career are shown next. We are reminded that she has come a long way from the Oklahoma country girl that she was when we first met her in Season 4.
Carrie sings a song from her CD called “Wasted” and it’s a good song if you like country music, with clever lyrics. The title could also describe Carrie’s appearance, as she is looking kinda rough. Not remembering her ever dressing like a teenaged bimbo before and it’s weird. She is all straight-to-business-like, no time for chit chat. Carrie shares the stage with an extremely cute fiddle player. Watching that guy is worth the price of admission!
Ryan calls Antonella and Stephanie to the front. After a dramatic pause... Stephanie is on to the Top 12! Ryan asks Antonella what was the best part of her American Idol experience. She just stands there, waiting for a house to fall on her. Well, at least Rosie, Frenchie, et al. will be happy now and maybe STHU. During Overbite’s sing-out, I take the dogs outside because they can not take the punishment.
Next, Sabrina and Haley are called to the front. Here is another no-brainer. But WAIT! 30 crazillion people just fainted. The fabulous Cleopatra-like Sabrina is out and bland beauty-pageant-girl Haley is safe. The judges exclaim that they do not believe that this was the right decision. Sabrina proves to America that they’re stupid yo, by giving the best sing-out of AI history. Prophetic lyrics there - “You gotta make the sacrifice. Somebody's gotta choose.” Bad sacrifice. Bad choice. Heavy sigh.
Now that we are all shocked into silence, Ryan announces the Idol Gives Back program, which will help raise money for children in Africa and America. They show clips of Ryan and Simon in Africa, and seeing the human side of them both is rewarding. The children are so beautiful that it breaks my heart.
A special fund-raising event is coming up in April, during “Inspirational Songs” week. Quincy Jones will write a special song for the Top 6 group sing and someone named Borat will be a guest. I do not know who that is but My Kid says that I need to get out of my cave more often. Cuz everybody knows that Borat is really Sacha Baron Cohen. Again, I say huh? Shrug.
Anyways, to help raise money for the kids, other stars like Gwen Stefani, Pink, and Annie Lennox will participate. And the best news is that the whole thing has been blessed by Bono.
Commercials... I want to see the new Sandra Bullock movie, Premonition. I like that sci-fi kinda stuff. Maybe that is why I am addicted to AI, cuz there are surely sci-fi elements involved in tonight’s ep for sure.
So the last two guys standing are Sanjaya and Sundance. I have a sinking feeling that we are never going to find out what Sundance would have done with a Diana Ross song. And yep, America “spoke in class today” and Mr. Head is outta here. This makes everyone in attendance sad. (Everyone except the morons who voted for Sanjaya in spite of him having a voice weak as cat pee.) Poor Paula almost has a nervous breakdown. At least Sundance’s sing-out is pretty awesome, much better than on performance night. Guess he is proving that the voters made the wrong choice.
Strangely enough, I have had the last ep’s exit song (times two) “Feelin’ Good” on my mind all week, which is ironic since I’ve had pneu-freakin-monia. No good about it. Feel even sicker now, watching this show tonight.
The good-bye clips are especially difficult to watch and the “Home” lyrics are never more poignant: “I think you got me all wrong.” Oddly, I even muster sympathy for Overbite Girl. Okay, maybe not, heh.
So what did we learn from this ep of our fave reality show of all time? Well, I guess we discovered that America does not like men with Shemar Moore eyebrows... Girls Gone Wild-type internet pix... exotic Egyptian-looking ladies... and dark songs about school violence.
I figured that Jared would go and Antonella’s exit was way past due. But no way should Sabrina and Sundance be off the show. Makes no sense.
So very very disappointed. To quote Happy Bunny, “Crazy doesn’t even begin to cover it.”
Sometimes this show drives me to eat chocolate.
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