March 21, 2007
The results are IN! Is your favorite OUT? So asks America’s favorite Nancy Boy, Ryan Seacrest. Thank goodness for DVR, cuz I am tuning in late this evening. Hope the show does not go over like it did last week.
Quick reminder that we had Peter Noone, Lulu, and Little Crying Girl on last night’s show. Then we have recaps of Paula’s more wonky moments and Simon being shirty as usual. Poor Randy must be zonked by now.
A review of last night’s performances… an “onslaught of talent” – Stephanie and Sligh. Blake “bringing life into a Zombie track.” Haley being “naughty” and LaKisha “sparkling with diamonds.” Chris R. “showing his tender side.” Sanjaya meeting his biggest fan, barf. Phil and Gina “finding the British rock beat.” Shirley Bassey songs “ruling the night” with Jordin and Melinda. Saving the best for last again.
Ryan beats the wet spot where the dead horse USED to be by mentioning the cry-baby girl yet again. What the-bleeding-H??
Peter Noone sings “A Kind of Hushhhh” and while I’m sure he is a nice enough chap, I ask the fam’ if I can fast forward through this part. Permission is granted. I have never heard anyone SING in a British accent before. Speaking of things U.K., my favorite British actor is Anthony Stewart Head, who played Giles on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. That is my all time favorite show in the history of my life and I make no apologies for loving it.
Commercials… yet another reality series coming up called On the Lot. A potential obsession replacement for when Idol is on hiatus? Nah.
The faux-Ford commercial is set in a laundromat with lots of bubbles and the kids singing “Another Saturday Night.” Lame.
Brad Garrett sits on the stage with the contestants and he is such a hoot. Of course we all know that the only reason he is there is because his sitcom is up next. Ryan tells him to sod off but in a nice way; gotta keep it nice in the Fox fam’ ya know.
First three asked to stand are: Phil (“I Got To Get The Precious For Meeee”), Melinda (Deer In The Headlights Part VIII), and Blake (Oops My Hair Got Caught In A Weedwhacker Again). They are not the bottom three and Phil gives a shout of joy. For sure, he thought he was snookered.
Next we have Chris Sligh (I’m On American Idol And All I Got Was This Stupid Skull Shirt), LaKisha (My Check BETTER Be In That Mailbox!), and Jordin (You Can Not Think Of Anything Snarky To Say About Me So Hmmmph!). They are all safe of course which is hunky-dory.
Now we have Sanjaya (Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful), Haley (We Love Short Shorts), and Gina (My Tongue Stud Makes Me Tal’ Wik’ ‘Issss.) You know the show is in shambles when this is NOT the bottom three. That Malakar boy is just a right jammy chap and he should be thanking that nesh crying gal for helping with the votes. What nitwits are voting for him?? Oh yeah. Birds like the one sitting next to me, My Teenage Kid.
That leaves Chris R. and Stephanie as the bottom two, which is just rubbish. Fiddle-sticks, we have to sit through more filler fodder before finding out which of these two are going home.
Next it’s the duff viewer contest, ka-ching ka-ching. And a reminder that Idol and it’s $$$$ cohorts are FINALLY giving back and yeah whatever. I believe everything these blimey dodgers tell me. Not. As My Kid says, “Awwww they care and it bores us.”
Now it is the luverly Lulu’s turn to sing and she looks great for an almost-60 year-old. This type of music is just not my cup of tea even though her voice is wicked awesome for the most part.
Chris and Stephanie stand side by side holding hands; Chris looks terrified but Steph seems rather calm and resolved. The audience boos cuz they realize that this is sooo naff! Chris is wearing bright yellow and Stephanie is in bright red, which prompts My Kid to say cheekily, “Which one will be voted off, mustard or ketchep?”
It’s the latter. By the time Daughtry sings the “going home” song for Stephanie, I am right knackered and that darn DVR runs out before we even get to see her buh bye montage.
You know that we have gone bonkers when a marvelous, sophisticated and beautiful TALENTED young lady like Stephanie does not make the Top Ten. Well, if Destiny’s Child ever gets back together sans Beyonce, they’ve got a gal who’d be great as her replacement.
To quote the remarkable C.S. Lewis: “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken.” I am sure that is how Stephanie feels tonight.
‘Til next week, TTFN …
P.S. I would like to thank this web site for providing me with some great British slang to use for this theme week.
The results are IN! Is your favorite OUT? So asks America’s favorite Nancy Boy, Ryan Seacrest. Thank goodness for DVR, cuz I am tuning in late this evening. Hope the show does not go over like it did last week.
Quick reminder that we had Peter Noone, Lulu, and Little Crying Girl on last night’s show. Then we have recaps of Paula’s more wonky moments and Simon being shirty as usual. Poor Randy must be zonked by now.
A review of last night’s performances… an “onslaught of talent” – Stephanie and Sligh. Blake “bringing life into a Zombie track.” Haley being “naughty” and LaKisha “sparkling with diamonds.” Chris R. “showing his tender side.” Sanjaya meeting his biggest fan, barf. Phil and Gina “finding the British rock beat.” Shirley Bassey songs “ruling the night” with Jordin and Melinda. Saving the best for last again.
Ryan beats the wet spot where the dead horse USED to be by mentioning the cry-baby girl yet again. What the-bleeding-H??
Peter Noone sings “A Kind of Hushhhh” and while I’m sure he is a nice enough chap, I ask the fam’ if I can fast forward through this part. Permission is granted. I have never heard anyone SING in a British accent before. Speaking of things U.K., my favorite British actor is Anthony Stewart Head, who played Giles on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. That is my all time favorite show in the history of my life and I make no apologies for loving it.
Commercials… yet another reality series coming up called On the Lot. A potential obsession replacement for when Idol is on hiatus? Nah.
The faux-Ford commercial is set in a laundromat with lots of bubbles and the kids singing “Another Saturday Night.” Lame.
Brad Garrett sits on the stage with the contestants and he is such a hoot. Of course we all know that the only reason he is there is because his sitcom is up next. Ryan tells him to sod off but in a nice way; gotta keep it nice in the Fox fam’ ya know.
First three asked to stand are: Phil (“I Got To Get The Precious For Meeee”), Melinda (Deer In The Headlights Part VIII), and Blake (Oops My Hair Got Caught In A Weedwhacker Again). They are not the bottom three and Phil gives a shout of joy. For sure, he thought he was snookered.
Next we have Chris Sligh (I’m On American Idol And All I Got Was This Stupid Skull Shirt), LaKisha (My Check BETTER Be In That Mailbox!), and Jordin (You Can Not Think Of Anything Snarky To Say About Me So Hmmmph!). They are all safe of course which is hunky-dory.
Now we have Sanjaya (Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful), Haley (We Love Short Shorts), and Gina (My Tongue Stud Makes Me Tal’ Wik’ ‘Issss.) You know the show is in shambles when this is NOT the bottom three. That Malakar boy is just a right jammy chap and he should be thanking that nesh crying gal for helping with the votes. What nitwits are voting for him?? Oh yeah. Birds like the one sitting next to me, My Teenage Kid.
That leaves Chris R. and Stephanie as the bottom two, which is just rubbish. Fiddle-sticks, we have to sit through more filler fodder before finding out which of these two are going home.
Next it’s the duff viewer contest, ka-ching ka-ching. And a reminder that Idol and it’s $$$$ cohorts are FINALLY giving back and yeah whatever. I believe everything these blimey dodgers tell me. Not. As My Kid says, “Awwww they care and it bores us.”
Now it is the luverly Lulu’s turn to sing and she looks great for an almost-60 year-old. This type of music is just not my cup of tea even though her voice is wicked awesome for the most part.
Chris and Stephanie stand side by side holding hands; Chris looks terrified but Steph seems rather calm and resolved. The audience boos cuz they realize that this is sooo naff! Chris is wearing bright yellow and Stephanie is in bright red, which prompts My Kid to say cheekily, “Which one will be voted off, mustard or ketchep?”
It’s the latter. By the time Daughtry sings the “going home” song for Stephanie, I am right knackered and that darn DVR runs out before we even get to see her buh bye montage.
You know that we have gone bonkers when a marvelous, sophisticated and beautiful TALENTED young lady like Stephanie does not make the Top Ten. Well, if Destiny’s Child ever gets back together sans Beyonce, they’ve got a gal who’d be great as her replacement.
To quote the remarkable C.S. Lewis: “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken.” I am sure that is how Stephanie feels tonight.
‘Til next week, TTFN …
P.S. I would like to thank this web site for providing me with some great British slang to use for this theme week.
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