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Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Eight Not-So-Great Guys


March 6, 2007

The best thing about tonight’s show is that House is finally back on TV afterwards. YAY!

So is it me, or do Ryan, the judges, and all eight guys look totally bored?? Okay, maybe it’s just me. Wish I could muster up some enthusiasm, but to paraphrase Greg Behrendt, I am Just Not That Into It. Mainly because I won an iPod Nano at a meeting today and I am too busy trying to figure out how to download my Daughtry CD.

Flash forward to the present…

Ryan tells us that a very important announcement is coming up on Thursday’s show. Wonder if it is about the top-secret-hush-hush (NOT) songwriting contest?

The theme of tonight’s pre-song video clip is “something that you don’t know about me.” Blake is up first and he says that he is a comedian and then proceeds to embarrass the heck out of everybody with a “Billy Bubba” impression. Dude, no. Stick to singing and that beat boxing thing that you do, ‘k. I have never heard this song that Blake is doing tonight. My Kid says that it is reggae hip hop or some such and wow then Randy says the same thing. He and Paula like Blake’s modern vibe but Simon (and I) could not understand a word of it. Still like Blake though.

Ryan teases Sundance about his waterworks last week and Sundance blames it on Chris R. Then Ryan reminds us all that Sanjaya was sup-freakin-posed to LEAVE last week but the ‘tween voters will sit on the phone and hit re-dial for two solid hours. Okay, so that was an interpretation of the conversation, but we all got the gist.

After a mortifying “oooh, I can do the hula” moment that reminds me of “Peanut,” Sanjaya sings “Waiting on the World to Change,” a song that even I have heard, since I don’t live in a cave. My Kid squeaks and squeals and I just roll my eyes. San is cute but his voice is so weak and his performance is lifeless. He is so out of his league and the judges all agree. Simon even mentions that it’s his hairdo that is keeping him in the competition and doesn’t his hair look like Paula’s tonight?

Sundance shares with us that he is actually a thin guy and wears a fat suit on the show. Nah, he’s just kidding. Then they flash a photo-shopped pic of him and it’s just creepy. Thank goodness he has trimmed that devil beard a little bit though, whew. That thing scares me. Tonight, Sundance sings the Pearl Jam song, “Jeremy,” which my God. Depressing much?? Maybe next week he will follow this up with “Janie’s Got a Gun.” Randy and Paula like it but Simon says that Sundance reminds him of a bar singer. Sundance is like, dude I can NOT win with you.

Travis Tritt is in the audience tonight to plug his album that Randy is producing. They say it’s hot! And I believe it. If I was going to listen to country music, I would listen to Travis.

So next, Chris R. tells us that he used to play football but has lost weight since his college days. I just noticed that he is kinda nice looking and has a pretty smile. He sings a Keith Urban song tonight and I think it’s the one that Ace massacred during country week last year. Once again, two out of three judges praise him to the skies for reasons unknown to this old woman. Simon said that it was “cutesy” and Uncomfortable Moment number 106 ensues when Ryan wants to chat with Chris about his weight loss and Simon nixays that idea. Jerk.

Ryan chats with Jared about the Usher “face” thing and then the rest of the guys do it and it’s a hoot. Jared tells us that he played basketball and has really thick eyebrows. He is like the black male version of Brooke Shields. Tonight he sings an old Stevie Wonder song and is wearing a sweater vest from the Dr. Huxtable collection. I think his performance is great – his voice is good and he is energetic and entertaining. What a concept, right? Randy likes it but Paula rips him a new one, to the surprise of all and sundry. Simon is not wowed, then Randy backpeddles. It seems rather obvious that TIIC does not want Jared to be in the Top 12.

After Ryan, Brandon and Phil have lame and boring chit-chat about how disgusted the judges are this week, we finally get to another performance. Brandon reveals to us that he is a classical pianist which is cool; he is very good from the clip that we see. Tonight he sings a song that I think is called “Celebrate” and he does well with it. I like Brandon, have ever since the beginning of the show this year. For some reason, it seems like TIIC is trying to brainwash the voters against him. He gets faint praise from Randy and Paula but Simon shoots him down. Brandon is charming and mature and funny all at the same time, and hey we can’t have THAT this season, huh?

Now we have Phil telling us that he used to have hair. And now he doesn’t and he is known as the bald guy of American Idol. Uh, Phil? Make that the OTHER bald guy, ‘k? Tonight he sings the Leann Rimes song, “I Need You” and My Kid and I change the lyrics of this song to “I need you to never wear that hat again…..” The judges (at least one and two) want to like Phil but they think he is just strange. Simon comes right out and calls him a weirdo. I can’t help but wonder if Phil just WANTS to get voted off so that he can go home to his family.

Last but not least, Chris Sligh tells us that his “lush” curls are all his own, thank you very much. And oh my God!! He sings a song from the DC Talk CD Supernatural. It’s called “Wanna Be Loved.” Oh man, I miss DC Talk, even though I totally realize that they are all in solo careers right now. Love that Toby, Mike and Kevin! I enjoy Sligh’s rendition of this song but since it is contemporary Christian music, the judges can’t find it in their black hearts to give him too much praise. Randy does tell him that he is the best of the night, but that is not saying much. Simon proves that he is not Satan (that would be James Cameron) by telling Sligh that he has potential.
After a whole night of the mehs and the blahs, Chris Sligh is a refreshing change to the GOOD. As Coach Grant Taylor says, I am ready to “take a knee” and give thanks. Most def the best of the evening.

Recap time and vocal-wise, the weakest ones are Sanjaya and Chris R. Of course, neither of these guys will be voted off cuz of the cuteness of them both. Whatever. I have a feeling that Phil will get the boot as well as Jared or maybe Brandon.

Now it’s time to see what Dr. House is up to… and try to figure out this iPod! Nah, better just to give it to My Kid; she will know what to do.

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