March 28, 2007
Remember last year when Chris Daughtry answered the fan question “boxers or briefs” and the very next night, he was “shockingly” eliminated? A red flag has now been raised since Chris Sligh mentioned boxers on the show and guess what…
Because I am so bored with the show this season, I need to find a way to make blogging it interesting again. Especially after last night’s ep, yikes. My Kid says so why bother? But I am not ready to throw in the towel yet.
So I am going to do something a little different with this results show. In true Memento fashion, I am going to tell the story BACKWARDS.
The end is the beginning … we see Chris Sligh hugging everyone while singing the song he did last night. Pretty wife is in the audience looking sad. Chris is trying to keep a stiff upper lip as Daughtry sings the “going home” song to his montage of awesome moments. We are reminded of the fabulous Sligh times… “I really want to make David Hasselhoff cry.” … “You guys are probably wondering why I called this meeting…” Funny poses, silly walks, cutting up with the other contestants. An added bonus is that Chris has lost a lot of weight since the beginning of the show.
Haley (once again disguised as Katharine McPhee) almost faints when she finds out that she is safe. It’s only because her long legs got their own 866 number and yes I am jealous of her. Phil and his railroad hat are safe and they sit down to the delight of his peeps in the audience.
We find out that it’s Chris and not Gina who is the last of the bottom three for this week.
Gwen Stefani puts a plug in for her upcoming tour after singing some song that I have never heard of with some guy named Acorn or some such. His pants are falling down and the weird singing and awful dancing are so bad it’s campy. Watching Gwen, we are reminded of how ticked off Madonna was a few years ago in regards to copycatting. If Marilyn Monroe was still alive, she would probably have issues as well. As Simon says, I just do not get this ear-numbing mess. What a tumble since the “Cool” days.
Text message – the answer is Ruben. Fan-of-Idol winner from last week is up in the house tonight. Charity - Give back folks! Idol does.
Will it be Gina or Sligh in the bottom 3? Gotta wait for it… (Hey, this backwards stuff is fun. Maybe I should put in a couple of 666s. JUST KIDDING!)
Jordin is safe, Haley is bottom three. Sanjaya is safe, Chris R. is safe. Melinda is safe, Phil is bottom 3. LaKisha is safe, Blake is safe. Dim the lights.
The faux Ford commercial is an old western setting, complete with a gorgeous Wanted poster of Chris R. (He is really cute when he’s not singing.) Also, Jordin is movie star beautiful in the sepia hues. The contestants sing “I Fought the Law” and we all know how that turns out.
Recap time of last night’s performances, and I use that word lightly. Jordin and Chris R. doing No Doubt. Sligh and Phil taking on The Police. Melinda and LaKisha trying out Donna Summer. Haley assassinating a Cyndi Lauper tune. Blake getting overrated praise for a Cure song. Gina getting some luv as she should for a song by the Pretenders. Last and very very least, Sanjaya is not recognizable and neither is the No Doubt song he tortures.
Ryan comes out on stage with a fake version of the ponytail mohawk that Malakar had last night. He looks like an ancient Greek warrior. Everyone laughs and laughs (even Simon) and I almost lose my dinner. Am glad I just got home from church and am still feeling the spirit. Huh, lost it just as soon as Ryan threw the wig at Simon. Way too reminiscent of Billy Ray’s disastrous attempt at “getting his mullet back” on last week’s Dancing with the Stars. Scary.
Seacrest asks the age old question, “Whose number is UP?” Technically it would be whose number is DOWN, but I am not getting all analytical with it. Tonight we hit single digits, y’all.
And now for less gruesome and bloody entertainment, we watch Bones…
Remember last year when Chris Daughtry answered the fan question “boxers or briefs” and the very next night, he was “shockingly” eliminated? A red flag has now been raised since Chris Sligh mentioned boxers on the show and guess what…
Because I am so bored with the show this season, I need to find a way to make blogging it interesting again. Especially after last night’s ep, yikes. My Kid says so why bother? But I am not ready to throw in the towel yet.
So I am going to do something a little different with this results show. In true Memento fashion, I am going to tell the story BACKWARDS.
The end is the beginning … we see Chris Sligh hugging everyone while singing the song he did last night. Pretty wife is in the audience looking sad. Chris is trying to keep a stiff upper lip as Daughtry sings the “going home” song to his montage of awesome moments. We are reminded of the fabulous Sligh times… “I really want to make David Hasselhoff cry.” … “You guys are probably wondering why I called this meeting…” Funny poses, silly walks, cutting up with the other contestants. An added bonus is that Chris has lost a lot of weight since the beginning of the show.
Haley (once again disguised as Katharine McPhee) almost faints when she finds out that she is safe. It’s only because her long legs got their own 866 number and yes I am jealous of her. Phil and his railroad hat are safe and they sit down to the delight of his peeps in the audience.
We find out that it’s Chris and not Gina who is the last of the bottom three for this week.
Gwen Stefani puts a plug in for her upcoming tour after singing some song that I have never heard of with some guy named Acorn or some such. His pants are falling down and the weird singing and awful dancing are so bad it’s campy. Watching Gwen, we are reminded of how ticked off Madonna was a few years ago in regards to copycatting. If Marilyn Monroe was still alive, she would probably have issues as well. As Simon says, I just do not get this ear-numbing mess. What a tumble since the “Cool” days.
Text message – the answer is Ruben. Fan-of-Idol winner from last week is up in the house tonight. Charity - Give back folks! Idol does.
Will it be Gina or Sligh in the bottom 3? Gotta wait for it… (Hey, this backwards stuff is fun. Maybe I should put in a couple of 666s. JUST KIDDING!)
Jordin is safe, Haley is bottom three. Sanjaya is safe, Chris R. is safe. Melinda is safe, Phil is bottom 3. LaKisha is safe, Blake is safe. Dim the lights.
The faux Ford commercial is an old western setting, complete with a gorgeous Wanted poster of Chris R. (He is really cute when he’s not singing.) Also, Jordin is movie star beautiful in the sepia hues. The contestants sing “I Fought the Law” and we all know how that turns out.
Recap time of last night’s performances, and I use that word lightly. Jordin and Chris R. doing No Doubt. Sligh and Phil taking on The Police. Melinda and LaKisha trying out Donna Summer. Haley assassinating a Cyndi Lauper tune. Blake getting overrated praise for a Cure song. Gina getting some luv as she should for a song by the Pretenders. Last and very very least, Sanjaya is not recognizable and neither is the No Doubt song he tortures.
Ryan comes out on stage with a fake version of the ponytail mohawk that Malakar had last night. He looks like an ancient Greek warrior. Everyone laughs and laughs (even Simon) and I almost lose my dinner. Am glad I just got home from church and am still feeling the spirit. Huh, lost it just as soon as Ryan threw the wig at Simon. Way too reminiscent of Billy Ray’s disastrous attempt at “getting his mullet back” on last week’s Dancing with the Stars. Scary.
Seacrest asks the age old question, “Whose number is UP?” Technically it would be whose number is DOWN, but I am not getting all analytical with it. Tonight we hit single digits, y’all.
And now for less gruesome and bloody entertainment, we watch Bones…
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