Robbie Carrico, From "Boyz" to Rock

When we first saw Robbie at the Miami audition, he did an awesome version of “Simple Man.” His rocker stance just did not hold up though as the competition progressed.

As part of the group Boyz-N-Girls United, Robbie toured as an opening act for Britney Spears in 1999. Presently, he is the lead singer of a rock band called Missing Picket.

From his AI home page:
Favorite Quote: "If you think you can or you think you can't, you're right!" - Henry Ford

In his EW exit interview he discusses how traveling with his rock band for the past six years has prepared him to be a genuine rock artist. “This is me. What you see is what you get. That's all I can be. I can't be somebody someone else wants me to be.”

From his AOL interview, about Britney: “She was always a real down-to-earth girl. I kind of wish everybody would just leave her alone and let her be. I wish her the best in the future and I think everything will work out fine.”

Keeping in touch... Robbie’s band’s myspace.

Alaina Whitaker, Little Girl with a Big Voice

In Dallas, when Alaina Whitaker was told she looked like a certain previous AI winner, she quipped “I prefer to think that Carrie Underwood looks like ME.”

Alaina and her sister Brittney perform and compete in various singing contests. The prize for a solo win in Star Idol’s competition was an all-expense paid trip to the American Idol audition.

From her AI home page:
Q: What other talents do you have?
A: I am captain of the pom squad at my school so I love to dance. I run track. I'm also pretty good at shopping!

In her EW exit interview – Q: What does tomorrow bring for you? A: Well, I definitely think it's important to finish school. Singing is my passion; it's what I want to do with my life.

From her AOL interview, regarding her emotional send off: “I really think I would have regretted it if I hadn't sung. Now, the next day, I can really look at it and take so much away from this. It's a blessing.”

Keeping in touch... Alaina’s myspace.

Alexandrea Lushington, a.k.a. “Miz Alex”

At first Alexandrea Lushington was hard to figure: was she an abrasive or adorable teenage girl? Probably more equal parts both, which made her an enjoyable contestant to watch.

Alexandrea has been performing as "Miz Alex" since she was 7 years old and has appeared on various shows.

From her AI home page:
Q: What would people be surprised to learn about you?
A: I’m extremely goofy. I’m only serious when I have to be.

In her EW exit interview she talks about when she and David A. were on Star Search together. Also, about calling Ryan a freak: “Everybody knows that I'm just loud and out-there and goofy, so I was just kidding around with him.”

From her AOL interview, regarding bonds with other contestants: “It is like a huge family. We are always with each other 24/7. We see each other all the time, we rehearse with each other. We've become really good friends.”

Keeping in touch... Alexandrea’s myspace.

Jason Yeager, One of Branson’s Finest

Because Jason Yeager got absolutely no screen time prior to being announced one of the top 24, it was hard to make a connection to him. While the performances that we saw were definitely corny, by all accounts it seems that Jason is one of the good guys.

Jason has been performing in Branson for several years as well as a back-up singer for The Shoji Tabuchi Show.

From his AI home page:
Favorite Quote: "Jeremiah 29:11"

In his EW exit interview he discusses being left out of the first five weeks of footage: “It just made me laugh when Simon was like, ''I think your problem is that you don't stand out.'' I just laughed to myself on the inside, because I did everything everyone else did — all the interviews and whatnot — but I have absolutely no say over what gets used on the show. It was just disappointing. I have so much more I could have shown people if I had the chance.”

From his AOL interview, about his son: “… he just said, "I love you Dad and I'm proud of you," so that meant a lot to me.”

Keeping in touch... Jason’s myspace.

Top 20 - Eliminations

February 28, 2008

Well, it’s day four of my low-carb diet and I am hungry and grumpy and in no mood for nonsense. Am thinking of just skipping tonight’s show altogether and just catching the results on rickey. But then again no… my American Idol obsession beseeches me…

Ryan says 31 crazillion people voted and then chats with the judges about some of the changes on the show this year. Question: Why theme weeks so soon? Answer: Because today’s music sucks and ya have to reach back to the past to pull off anything halfway decent.

We also learn about Simon’s “half moose hand signal” which we have noticed for a couple weeks now. He says it is a code but he doesn’t explain; methinks he was being facetious! I thought the “L” was supposed to go in the middle of the forehead. Ah well. It’s funnier when Ryan does it anyway.

Carrying on with the 70s theme week, the Group Sing is a medley of that genre. The contestants are not as obviously costumed this week as last time. The mishmash of tee shirts, blue jeans, horizontal stripes, unsightly vests, tunic tops and funky jewelry could be from any era. What goes around and all that jazz. While the singing is pretty good, it is hard to watch the awkward dance moves that they just learned five minutes ago.

First to go will be a guy; quick rundown of who’s who in the state of top ten guydom. “In it to win it” Chikezie, not-hot-blooded Robbie, no charisma David C, crowd-working Michael, “killer” Luke, no love for Jason Le Pew, Dreads wants to be our everything, Danny longing for your guitar “ISH,” David H’s rolling stone, and David A imagines all the people sharing for the world. (And Paula needed a Kleenex, but too late now.)

Asinine Ryan asks the boys if they are nervous… well, no Ryan. Actually, this is like when you’re at a job interview or taking the SAT or awaiting your blood test results. Not nerve wracking at all. Dumb@ss.

Michael is safe, Chikezie is safe. Ryan psychs out Dreads but he is safe. Danny is safe but Jason Y. is going home. The folks standing up in his “friends & family” section seem peeved, especially the lady who looks like Sarah Silverman.

Jason is disappointed but practical and hopefully has that Branson gig to go back to. After hearing the criticism all over again, he does a much less Gaither Homecoming version of the Doobie Brothers song. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that, just not on American Idol.)

Now a rundown of the ladies: Carly was crazy on us, Syesha doodled Mr. Jones, Kristy is no good baby no good, Ramiele had the same hairdo that Paula does tonight, Brooke said Simon was so vain, Kady starred in Crossroads the sequel, Amanda wore a Fright Night wig, Alaina’s a “dark horse,” Alexandrea’s got “mad skills,” and Asia’h ain’t Celine Dion.

Which one will go home tonight? Dim the lights… Kristy is safe and so is Asia’h. Brooke is safe but Amanda and Alexandrea are the final two standing. Thank goodness our rocker girl looks halfway normal tonight. No more Heat Miser hair; she is subdued and pretty.

Teenaged Alexandrea is the one leaving. I really like her and her big peace sign earring. She shows the teen ‘tude a little bit though, pulling back from Ryan like “back off, no touchie.” Regarding her great-grandma she exclaims, “You were supposed to bring her to California! Freak!”

As the too-skinny but super-cute little girl with the two-first-names-put-together-as-one does her sing out, we try to figure out just how her name is supposed to sound anyway. It is a pet peeve of mine – parents who give weird spellings to their kids’ names then get all huffy when it’s mispronounced. If you want people to say it right, spell it right with no stupid cuteness. Just saying.

Alexandrea has finally finished and poor David A. is crying, so she gives him a hug. This is the main reason I don’t like it when very young kids are on the show. I live with a teenager and there’s at least one drama per day going on with her. Add the pressure of being on a TV competition live in front of zillions of people – hello, can you say meltdown?

Another girl’s turn to leave now… Carly, who is rocking some hair extensions, is safe. She reminds me of the “before” picture in the old shampoo commercial where the slogan was “I was flat then I went fluffy.” But I digress…

Ramiele and Syesha are safe. The final two standing are Alaina and Kady so this is a no-brainer. Kady looks resolved that she is the one to go and gets ready for Ryan to tell her to go pack her bags. Her smug look turns quickly to astonishment though, when we learn that Alaina is the one going home not Kady. DARN IT!! Alaina is absolutely devastated.

The next few minutes emphasize what I have been saying for seven years now – they should raise the age limit on this show. Just think, if they increase the age to 18, they won’t have to worry with tutors and child labor laws and chaperones, and complete breakdowns like this one.

Two years is not that long to wait to be on the show and by then you have more experience under your belt. Not saying that older contestants have never fallen apart before because they surely have. It’s just that it’s so much sadder to watch when it happens to a CHILD. So says Aunt Pearl anyways.

Whose heart did not break at Alaina’s cry of “I can’t sing! Sorry, this is embarrassing.” And yes it is embarrassing… the choice that America made is wrong and everyone knows it. Ryan is trying to console her, Paula is doing the standing ovation thing, and the shock of the other contestants is palpable. Even little Danny is bawling.

Poor Alaina had no idea that she was going to depart tonight but they finally do coax her to perform her sing out song. And how prophetic with the opening lines of heartbreak and tears. She does a good job as her mom and another lady (grandma maybe?) look from the F&F section above.

My Kid asks, “Why do they have to sing the lame swan song anyway?” The only explanation I can think of is that it proves that a contestant can exhibit professionalism in the face of extreme emotional distress. Or maybe the producers are just sadistic B-tards?

There is the sense that everyone on stage wants to stick Kady with a stiletto heel right now, but remember that it’s not her fault of how the votes tallied. That blame lies with we who prefer cleavage and moaning to perkiness and good singing.

My gosh and we still have one more guy to go. Everything just seems anti-climatic at this point. To cheer us all up, Ryan gives us some news about when the show goes into Top 12 mode. Ruben will do the bye-bye song, so I suppose it’s bye to Ferras and Graham Colton as well? Fickle much? Also, they finally got rights to some Lennon/McCartney songs. I know right, big whoop.

Because we have not cried enough, they show highlights of last year’s Idol Gives Back charity event. Strange how Brooke, Alexandrea and Danny are skinnier than most of the kids we’re trying to save from starvation.

For this year’s “bigger and better” act of benevolence, we can count on guest appearances by the following stars: Brad Pitt, Miley Cyrus, Reese Witherspoon, Mariah Carey, Snoop Dogg, Daughtry and Carrie Underwood. As long as Elvis doesn’t show up again.

Ryan must be pressed for time as he has all three Davids sit; they are safe. Last two men standing are Luke and Robbie. Again, you’d think this was an easy one, but we’ve learned to expect the unexpected on this show.

Robbie the faux rocker is the last one leaving the show tonight. Simon reminds him that he never really felt like a real rock-n-roll dude, just one in disguise.

All four rejects and two bandanas get called back to the stage for the farewell video montage set to “Best Days.” The good-bye vids are touching as always; they know how to pick exactly the most profound interview sound-bite to throw into the mixture.

Robbie sings the Foreigner song while Carly cries and a very pretty lady looks down from the friends section. We are all left to wonder if the wig rumors about Robbie are true, and who cares really?

Only one out of four of my picks left us this evening so even die hard obsessed fans can’t call the results. And dang it, I just accidentally caught five seconds of Don’t Forget the Lyrics, so need to go scrub my eyeballs and detox my ears now.

‘Til next week… ISH.

Top 10 Ladies Take on the 70s

February 27, 2008

“Casual Day” Ryan reminds us that millions of people are watching, lest we forget that we are tuning into the #1 rated show on this planet. Quick intro of the ten gals and it’s still hard to tell which blonde is which. And when did the Bride of Frankenstein join the show? OMG I think that was Amanda. Ack!

To distract from that, we have conservation with the judges, discussing song choice and Paula’s blouse being so high-necked that she’s choking. Simon reminding us that he’s a butthole with Ryan fanning the flames.

Just like last night, each contestant will have a “video reveal” then perform a classic song from the 70s. Wondering if we will get some Ronstadt, Benatar, Blondie, maybe some Heart? Will even take some Dolly or Emmylou.

First up is Carly who informs us that she works at an Irish pub in her spare time from the tattoo shop. She looks happy there in the clip they show of her; much more excited than in that video she made for “I’m Gonna Blow Your Mind.” Anyways tonight she’s doing one of my favorite Heart songs, “Crazy on You.” Ann Wilson has one of those untouchable voices that’s hard to mimic. Carly gives it her all and comes close to great on this song. She looks pretty but Victoria has revealed her “secret;” she’s kinda bouncy. Evidently leggings have been resurrected because all the gals seem to be wearing them this year. Carly explains to the judges that she loves Heart and it’s been her dream to sing that song on this show. Randy and Paula are glad that she is over the flu, and she did well. Simon liked her okay but thinks she can still do better, proclaiming that she’s the girl to beat this year.

Syesha is up next and she tells us that she is an actress with many commercials under her belt. There is no mention of her being on the AI-like reality show called The One a couple years back. Then she proceeds to do her “baby voice” and it’s so nice to know that she has something to fall back on. Because tonight we can tell it’s going to be bad just as soon as she starts singing. For no apparent reason at all she is singing “Me and Mrs. Jones,” only with “Mr.” Some songs can be done by both male and females, just change the “he” to “she” and vice versa, but this is ridiculous. Makes no sense. Randy liked the clip of her commercial but that’s it, and Paula adds that though she’s very beautiful, the song was merely okay. Mr. States-the-Obvious says that the song wasn’t written for a girl to sing, duh. He reams her on song choice but Syesha has a look of extreme disinterest.

Next is Brooke, who has flattened her hair and it’s unflattering. She tells us that she went to beauty school and even though she still has that urge to do hair because it’s “like art,” music took precedence. We don’t hear about the cute music vid she made depicting the “beauty school dropout” plot though. So tonight she is on stage with her guitar, wearing the brightest color orange I have ever seen on my TV. She sings “You’re so Vain” and she does really well until the chorus; the back-up singers drown her out a bit, but it’s okay as she’s not hitting those low notes very well. We all know this song as an “angry Carly Simon lashing out at some mystery guy she’s mad at,” so it’s a bit off-putting that Brooke is performing it in her usual “I am so happy” way. All three judges absolutely dig her and her interpretation of the song. Everyone gets a really big giggle thinking that Simon is vain, too.

In the red room with the big Ford tire coffee table, Ryan chats with Ramiele about her nervous breakdown during last week’s vote-off show. Doesn’t she realize that every single person of Asian descent on this planet is voting for her, so she has no worries? She seems to be a sweet young lady and the pictures of her as a little girl are adorable. She talks about doing Polynesian dancing and it’s way less creepy than when Sanjaya did the hula last year. Tonight she sings “Don’t Leave Me this Way” and she sounds really good. Wished she had chosen a different outfit, though; she looks like she’s going to go wash her car or something. Casual or not she can sing her heart out. The judges don’t have their hearing aids in though, because they don’t like it. Simon even throws out the “ghastly wedding” card. Ryan thinks that Ramiele is delightful and makes him feel very tall.

Next up is Kristy, who is the only girl so far who’s not wearing a neck-squeezing scarf in her video. They show a zillion pictures of her being a “tomboy” as she talks about doing what boys like to do. Tonight she has the Felicity hair back and is all shiny and pretty. She also needs to tell Carly where to get that Wonder bra. She does an okay rendition of “You’re No Good,” but I love Linda Ronstadt so much that I don’t want to hear anyone else sing her songs. Kristy ends the song in a terrible way that ruins the entire performance. Because she was so terribly awful last week the judges give her a pass for the most part. Simon says he doesn’t know how to label her, maybe country? Duh – obviously he hasn’t seen the music video she made awhile back. Kristy promises to deliver if she comes back and we all know she will. And no more red popsicles before show time! What is up with that?

We already know that Amanda is a Harley-riding nurse; all that’s left to tell is that she is a bookworm. She looks pretty in the video, wearing one of Robbie’s scarves on her head. Being a “reading is fundamental” person herself, My Kid pronounces that she loves Amanda even more. Tonight is a hard night for our rocker girl though. Not only is Amanda singing the worse song she could have chosen, “Carry on Wayward Son,” she looks horrid. Her head looks like a cross between Cruella de Ville and the mean octopus-woman in The Little Mermaid. My Kid reluctantly concurs that there is a bit of Ursula in Amanda tonight. The judges are not pleased and wonder WTH was she thinking?? Our theory is that she is tired of this “must conform to norm” stuff of AI and is trying to get voted off. So annoying how Paula tells her to go back to Janis, contrary to what was said before.

Alaina is up next and since she just turned 17 last week, there’s not a lot to reveal about her that we don’t already know. This explains why they chose the OCD “food touching on my plate creeps me out” route. Yikes; have a feeling this is going to cost her. Why not talk about the singing contests she won with her sister? Anyways, she looks pretty in a “going to my first homecoming dance” kinda way in a royal blue dress. Sadly she is not as good tonight as last week. Her version of “Hopelessly Devoted To You” is not awful, it’s just rather boring and never-ending. And of course we’re all still thinking about how gross green bean juice really is and why would she talk about that? She is a mere child though and doesn’t know better. The judges don’t think it was her best and Simon plays the “you are too young to let your grandma dress you” card. He likes her though so it’s all good.

Now we learn that Alexandrea was on Showtime at the Apollo. Just kidding; even though she was on that show, she reveals that she was the poster child for the fire department because her dad was a fireman. I really like this girl and she is a lot cuter now than when she was younger. She has never had a good fashion sense though and tonight is really bad. She is dressed in a combo outfit of hiking/camping/fishing/surfing. It’s all over the place, as is her rendition of the Chicago song “If You Leave Me Now.” Her voice is good but she does not seem to be comfortable. The judges say the same thing as well, and Alexandrea seems to be resigned that she was horrid. Although she did not sing poorly, it was definitely too safe. Where was that shining star from last week? We are all hoping that she will get a chance to shine again in the weeks to come. Oh, and she needs a Twinkie stat!

Up next is Kady, who reminds us about the awesomeness of her and her celebrity impressions and that she is kind of a snob. We further learn that when she is in an area with good acoustics, she can do opera very good as well. Gee Kady, so can we. Did like her snark on Simon though, that was pretty funny. Tonight she starts out on the stairs singing another Heart song that I love, “Magic Man.” I have seen Heart in concert several times and Kady is no Ann; heck, she’s not even a Nancy. She has a stumbling moment on the stairs and we all hold our breath. Whew that was close! Every thing about Kady’s performance shouts “I am hot and I know it!” All three judges are puzzled and do not understand why she is so wonderful in her videos and crappy on stage. There should be a role for her on Gossip Girl and maybe this week she’ll be free to pursue that.

Our final performer tonight is Asia’h who reveals that she was a cheerleader. Not a surprise, as she is gorgeous and perky and energetic. I adore this gal; her enthusiasm is infectious and she is genuinely likeable. Unfortunately, she is not that good tonight, and it seems to be a waste of the pimp spot of the evening. Traditionally, this is the one place that a contestant is guaranteed a good review. Not sure why, it’s just worked out that way for seven years now. Asia’h loses the song and doesn’t get it back until the last note. Maybe her dress was so tight she couldn’t breath? Randy and Paula blame the sickness that’s been going around and think she was great. Huh? Come on Simon, keep it real for us. Thank goodness he does and calls her on the fact that she did not pull this off. The Beyonce hairstyle doesn’t work for her either and hopefully she will go back to her funky ‘do.

Review time and the best by a thousand miles is Carly. No one even comes close. Based on tonight’s performance alone Amanda was the worst. Hopefully she will not be one of the girls to go tomorrow. Our picks for leaving, based on personality alone are Kady (please!) and maybe Syesha.

Quotes:

Simon praised Brooke for singing “You’re so Vain” -
Ryan (to Simon): …it’s probably because you think this song is about you, about you… don’t you don’t you?….
Simon: I’ll be honest with you… I actually did.

During Ramiele’s critique -
Ryan (agreeing with Paula): …sometimes don’t second guess right?
Paula: …you’re right on Ryan!
Randy: Right on Ryan … wow.
Simon: Ryan! You’re so clever! (rolls eyes)

About Amanda’s awful hair style -
Ryan (to Randy): I want this look for you this season; this would be hot!
Randy: Dude, you know I used to wear that, man… I got pictures.

Critiquing Alaina’s outfit -
Paula: … we just got to mess you up a little.
Alaina: I love this outfit!
Randy: … it’s a cute outfit.
Ryan: Randy is a female fashion expert.

More fashion talk -
Ryan: … heels and blue dresses are not my thing…
Simon: Well, that’s not exactly true…
Ryan: …the fashion god who wears the same thing every night speaking…

‘Til tomorrow when we find out who’s packing up the Samsonite.

Top 10 Men Take on the 70s

February 26, 2008

Dapper Ryan informs us that ALL eyes will be on the American Idol stage. Well, at least 28 million of them give or take.

The music of my girlhood is the theme of tonight’s show: songs of the 70s. YAY! Love that genre. As we watch the ten guys do the goofy-wave-to-the-camera during intro, I wonder if we dare hope for a classic tune from the Eagles or Fleetwood Mac. I would settle for some Skynrd, Zeppelin, Floyd… so much to chose from, but alas the AI catalog is so slim of cleared songs.

Also, tonight each guy will get a chance to tell us more about himself via the pre-sing video montage. So while we wait, I will take this opportunity to tell you something that you might not know about me, Aunt Pearl. Here goes – other than American Idol (and a couple of other talent-oriented shows) I can not stand reality shows; they make my blood curdle. There is not a single survivor, bachelor, dancer, chef, nanny, judge, woodworker, model, poker player, celeb-trash, or rock-star-looking-for-booty that I can tolerate. Okay, enough about me, on with the show…

Ryan does his cheerleading act with the boys then panders to the judges. It must be close to payday or some such. The judges speak mostly in clichés in regards to their expectations tonight. To sum up: Bring It On is not just a movie starring Kirsten Dunst.

First up in spot numero-forgettable-o is Michael, which is fair since he got the coveted pimp spot last week. What America doesn’t know about him: he is a champion tennis player and looks good in shorts and a headband. I can name his song in just two notes, since it’s one of my favorites of all time - “Go Your Own Way” by Fleetwood Mac!! I still have the Buckingham/Nicks album from Lindsey and Stevie’s early days. Love that band and tremendously enjoyed the reunion concert and album The Dance. Tonight Michael is okay but he is way out of his league trying to touch this one. He is sporting a serious cow lick too, but it only makes him more appealing somehow. Randy and Paula think he’s good and Simon says he was “coasting along.” Michael loves Fleetwood Mac, so he doesn’t really care what The Brit thinks, so there.

Ryan smooches iTunes before introducing the next one up, the dreadlocked Jason C. Castro’s secret is that he loves music more than anything but this whole American Idol thing involves interviews and having pictures taken and stupid junk like that. He is so over it already. Tonight he does a song by the late Andy Gibb, “I Just Want to be Your Everything,” and plays the guitar again. As last week, he has a pleasant voice and his performance is okay if you are sitting at a coffee house or some place like that. I notice that Jason looks a bit like Vinnie Barbarino with a mop on his head. When I tell My Kid that, she says (of course) WHO? Randy likes the guitar but Paula wants him to lose it next week. Simon calls him “schmaltzy” and gives him the song-choice lecture, which is SO lame, because we all know that the catalog is limited.

Next up is Luke, who tells us that he is playing Wolverine’s son in the next X-Men movie. Not really. Luke has been in an a cappella band called Chapter 6 and they travel all over the world. Luke sings the really high parts, so we see in the clip. Tonight he has a really nice hairdo and sexy stubble, but darn it; he is doing “Killer Queen” and Freddie Mercury, he is NOT. He is not awful on the song, but there are parts that are whiny enough to make my little doggie’s ears perk up in dismay. Randy respects that he had the stones to tackle Queen and thought he was better this week than last. Paula concurs, then takes total credit for him being in the top 24, which Simon naturally mocks. He proceeds to rip Luke a new one for a thousand years. Luke takes it like a man and says, “Last week I was 0 for 3, tonight I’m 2 for 3 so I’ll take it…” Funny how Ryan calls Luke Dawson’s Creek.

Next, Ryan is on the red couch talking to Robbie. Is he a rocker or not? A non-bandanna’d Robbie says YES, and then we learn his secret – he used to date Britney Spears? Well, yes and no. Yes, he did date her briefly but that’s not what he’s telling us tonight. He’s into drag racing and is total butch about it. For his performance tonight, he attempts the Foreigner classic “Hot Blooded” but it’s tepid, barely warm, let alone “hot.” Robbie is the pure definition of POSEUR when you look it up in the Urban Dictionary. Randy calls him on it too, and rightly tells him that he does not have enough “grunt” in his voice. Paula says that only HE knows who he really is deep down inside. Then there is much discussion that goes on long enough for us to notice that Robbie could really use some Nexxus Humectress. Simon tells him not to be so darn defensive but concedes that he was “okay.”

Now we have Jessica Alba’s long lost kid sister – Danny. He informs us that for about five minutes he was in a punk rock band. We see pictures of him with his female friends and it’s hard to tell which one is the girl. Danny is prettier than all of them. Can’t figure out what he is singing tonight until about halfway through. It’s the Carpenters song about Karen falling for a guitar player who leaves her. When I was a kid, that song made me so sad, then I became a teenager and actually experienced the whole heart-broken-by-skeezy-musician thing. I say all this to keep from dozing off. Danny has a powerful voice but it’s a snoozefest. I can’t watch him or listen to him for more than two seconds before the eye twitches begin. All three judges give him a mostly positive critique and Simon even tells him how good he looks on camera, even decked out in grandpa’s sweater. “ISH!”

Looking more than ever like one of the Vega brothers on One Life to Live, next up is David H. He reveals that when he was a kid, he was into gymnastics. Even though the outfits were lame, he could do a mean cartwheel. Tonight he starts out on the stairs and gives us a bona fide performance, y’all. His version of “Papa was a Rollin’ Stone” is a tiny bit over-the-top but it should be, as it’s a story song. In light of David’s background, this must be a tough song for him to sing but he really gets into the lyrics. Randy is ecstatic about David being BACK and Paula mentions the “pocket” thing that none of us understand. Simon is now his biggest fan and says he was the best so far tonight. He also admires the way that David does not do the “I’m such a diva” sulking thing that so many of them do. Funny moment when David proclaims, “Thank you God!” and has to explain he wasn’t talking to Simon.

The thing that America does not know about Jason Y., is that he’s a performer in a Branson, Missouri show called Country Tonite. Actually, he doesn’t discuss that tidbit; he tells us about his musical instrument abilities. He has taught himself how to play drums, piano, and guitar, which is impressive to me since I never mastered the tambourine or triangle. He sings a Doobie Brothers song, I think the name of it is “Without Love” or it may be another title. Jason ups the Velvetta to its cheesiest level yet. His posturing reminds me of a singing televangelist that I saw one time. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but it’s just not right for this show. Randy and Paula tell him that he should have picked a “singer song” which is valid. Simon throws out the “drunk at a party” analogy, which is offensive, but Jason takes the criticism in stride.

Last week’s “great pumpkin” is back tonight looking like a prep school student. Before performing in his royal and lime polo shirt, Chikezie explains the origins of his name. While I dig Nigerian history as much as the next very boring person, let’s get on with the show please. Chikezie sings one of the songs that Elliott did back on AI5, “I Believe to My Soul.” If I had never heard Elliott’s version of this song, I would enjoy Chikezie’s take on it. He seems to be singing directly to Simon about the whole “knowing my name” lyric, which is entertaining. His voice and attitude are much better tonight than last week. All three judges applaud his performance and triple love him as they should. Simon still can’t get his name right and wants to call him “Chi.” Neither can My Kid who wants to call him Carlton Banks. Hysterical moment when Chikezie riffs on Simon’s taste in clothes. Classic!

Next up, David C. tells us that he is a “word nerd.” He loves puzzles and whatnot and it’s all very geeky and strange. He makes up for it though with a solid performance of “All Right Now,” complete with rocking out on electric guitar. Now this is the real deal; he has the cocky stance that all genuine rockers have, but the music drowns him out somewhat. Randy likes the way that he threw guitar picks out to the girls and that HE is the genuine rocker in the competition this year. An Uncle Creepy moment occurs when Paula mentions that junior high girls love guitar players and David says he’s all right with that. Ewww. Simon did not like the “word nerd” tidbit and then plays the “no charisma” card. David cops a ‘tude, Simon gets all beyotchy, then Paula speaks the one-liner of the evening: “Women like smart men.” Simon is still ticked though, so watch out.

Last but certainly not least, we have my very favorite contestant of the season so far – David A. He tells us about the time he sang for Kelly C. and some other season one folks, and they adored him. This child is so charming, it’s almost too good to be for real. Tonight, he sings “Imagine,” which is one of those songs that is so well-loved that it takes a brave person to do a cover. His version is slow and dreamy and perfect. My Kid loves his smile and his black leather jacket more than the song. David is like puppies and sunshine and bubbles at a birthday party. All three judges pronounce their undying affection and gratitude just to be in his presence. Simon even says that he is the one to beat and “there are nineteen very miserable contestants sitting here tonight.” During Ryan banter, David proves he is a graduate of the Melinda Doolittle School of Humility. Love this kid!

Recap time and the best three were the Davids – Archuleta, Hernandez, and Cook. My prediction to go home this week – Jason Y. and Luke. My Kid agrees but Hubby says that Danny needs to go PLEASE!! That kid annoys us almost as much as that weird thing that Simon does with his hand when he lectures everyone on the planet about what it takes to have good vocals.

Quotes:

Regarding the critique of Luke’s performance -
Ryan: Paula, you’re going one way, Simon in the other direction.
Paula: That’s normal.
Simon: Oh, that’s a first. (rolls eyes)

During Ryan/Danny banter –
Ryan: So you …agree with them…?
Danny: Yeah I do; last week was a disaster. Even though I gave you the little (does the girly head shake)…
Simon: So you agreed with me?
Danny: Ish. Kinda.
(Paula and Randy laugh and do a high-five in glee.)
Simon: Try to say it without moving your head. Did you agree with me?
Danny (turns with head very stiff): ISH.
Ryan: Now that’s trying too hard.

After Jason Y. goes on and on and on -
Ryan: You look miserable, Simon.
Simon: Well, you know it’s like the Oscars, it’s never ending, the speeches, when we need the Oscar music… duh duh duh duh duh.
Ryan: Cue the music…

Chikezie discusses his performance last week -
Chikezie: … I like my suit. I honestly do…
Simon: So you would wear that suit again?...
Chikezie: I love my suit … I can’t wear it again, I already wore it on TV! You can’t wear it twice … only you do that… (laughter) I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…
Simon: Chikezie, just when I am beginning to like you again, you become obnoxious. .. and your mother is horrified…

Tomorrow night, the gals take on songs of flower power and bell bottoms… ‘til then.

American Idol "Contestant Rules"

Rules to Live By! (So says Aunt Pearl...)

1. If you are not Whitney, Mariah, or Celine do NOT perform a song made famous by Whitney, Mariah, or Celine. (Or Amy Lee. Or Shania.)
2. Do not imitate cardboard and be all stiff and unwieldy like Carrie was in the old days of AI4.
3. Do not smile while singing “sad song” lyrics. Doing this could lead to being mistaken for a psychopath.
4. Do not add an unnecessary WHOO to the middle of your song. It makes you look full of yourself.
5. Please, for the love of Bo Bice and Chris Daughtry, do not twirl the microphone stand.
6. Do not make goo-goo eyes at the camera, a’la Constantine Maroulis. Because now there is slime on my TV screen.
7. Do not hold up a finger to indicate number one (or two, or three, etc.) We already know how to count.
8. Do not hold on the microphone for dear life. Death grips are not attractive. Then your hands goes numb and you can’t wave at the camera when Ryan gives out your 866 voting phone number.
9. Do not play the “I dedicate this song to my grandma” card. Or kid sister. Or doggie that got hit by a car last week. You get the picture.
10. Do not talk back to Simon (no matter WHAT he says.) He says that he likes it when contestants are ballsy but history shows that it can cost you votes.
11. Unless you are performing outdoors in winter, do not wear your coat or any other outerwear while singing. Oh, and sunglasses are out as well.
12. Do not sit sullenly on the sidelines while a co-contestant is performing. Is that how you want them to be when it’s your turn? Remember the Golden Rule (and the cameras are always watching.)
13. If you are a mere child, do not sing songs about being married with kids, reminiscing about your long life. This makes us older folks roll our eyes in annoyance. (And our votes count too you know.)
14. Don’t read the cue cards along with Ryan. It looks like a scene from a Bloopers reel.
15. During Ryan-banter, be aware of the Katharine McPhee “nervous lip lick.” Remember, 33 zillion people are watching... but no pressure.

We'll add to this list as the season progresses...

American Idol Quiz

Just for fun... test your AI-IQ... presenting Aunt Pearl's American Idol Quiz!

1. What is the name of the parent corporation that produces American Idol?
a. 21st Century
b. 19 Entertainment
c. Formula One

2. The charity episode Idol Gives Back raised how much money?
a. 76 million
b. 7.5 million
c. 85 million

3. Kelly Clarkson won season one; what was the name of her coronation song?
a. “A Moment Like This”
b. “One Moment in Time”
c. “A Moment to Cherish”

4. Reruns of past seasons of American Idol are called what?
a. American Idol Redux
b. American Idol Take Two
c. American Idol Rewind

5. Randy Jackson is a native of which city?
a. Birmingham, AL
b. Baton Rouge, LA
c. Bay City, MI

6. Who co-hosted the show with Ryan Seacrest during season one?
a. Brian Dunkleman
b. Brian Dennehy
c. Brian Dorklehoff

7. The father of season six winner Jordin Sparks played football with which NFL team?
a. New York Giants
b. Dallas Cowboys
c. Both a and b

8. Ryan’s mini-interviews that he conducts with contestants in between songs are featured in which room?
a. Coca-Cola Red Room
b. Mt. Dew Green Room
c. Dasani Dark Room

9. Season five’s Chris Daughtry was discovered at which audition city?
a. Greensboro, NC
b. Denver, CO
c. Houston, TX

10. Along with his AI duties, Ryan is also the co-host of what show?
a. Entertainment Tonight
b. The Soup
c. E! News

11. Which brand of ice cream features American Idol “flavors?”
a. Breyers
b. Edy’s (Dreyer’s)
c. PET

12. Which role did season three contestant Jennifer Hudson play in the Dream Girls movie?
a. Effie White
b. Deena Jones
c. Lorrell Robinson

13. Former contestants Anthony Federov and Carmen Rasmusen appeared on what reality show?
a. The Amazing Race
b. Fear Factor
c. Survivor

14. What famous tourist attraction did the season 5 contestants visit?
a. Disney World
b. Grand Ole Opry
c. Graceland

15. Season four runner up was Bo Bice; what is his real first name?
a. Harold
b. Henry
c. Bo is his real name

16. Simon is known for starting a critique with which phrase? (Hint: this is also the title of his book.)
a. “I don't mean to be rude, but …”
b. “Like I was saying before…”
c. “Dawg! That was da bomb!”

17. Besides being a singer/dancer/actress, Paula is also known for what profession?
a. Doll maker
b. Jewelry designer
c. Gourmet chef

18. Which season two contestant was a former US Marine and current country music singer?
a. Josh Turner
b. Josh Groban
c. Josh Gracin

19. Which season five contestant recently got married and honeymooned in Hawaii?
a. Katharine McPhee
b. Melissa McGhee
c. Ace Young

20. Which American Idol winner recorded Thankful and Breakaway?
a. Carrie Underwood
b. Kelly Clarkson
c. Taylor Hicks

21. In season four, who was the only contestant who willingly dropped out of the competition after being selected for the Top 12?
a. Mario Vasquez
b. Nikko Smith
c. Corey Clark

22. Which season six contestant toured with popular contemporary Christian artist Michael W. Smith?
a. Mandisa
b. LaKisha Jones
c. Melinda Doolittle

23. Which Ford vehicle is usually given to the final 2 contestants?
a. Mustang
b. Focus
c. Escape

24. American Idol is a remake of what British show?
a. The Making of a Superstar
b. Pop Idol
c. Be a Rock Star

25. Season two runner-up Clay Aiken is originally from what city?
a. Raleigh, NC
b. Hickory, NC
c. Albemarle, NC

26. The American Idol band is led by whom?
a. Rickey Martin
b. Rickey Minor
c. Rickey Lee Jones

27. Which AI contestant often wore jerseys representing his area code 205?
a. Justin Guarini
b. George Huff
c. Ruben Studdard

28. What is the “other” Simon’s last name? (Hint: he created the show.)
a. Fuller
b. Fowler
c. Fillion

29. Executive producer Nigel Lythgoe is also a judge on which show?
a. Dancing With the Stars
b. So You Think You Can Dance?
c. Dance Star 2000

30. After winning season three, Fantasia Barrino later starred in what Broadway play?
a. Rent
b. The Color Purple
c. Dream Girls

31. Which coronation song was written by American Idol Songwriter contest winners Scott Krippayne and Jeff Peabody?
a. “I Believe”
b. “This is My Now”
c. “Inside Your Heaven”

32. Which website is credited for keeping Sanjaya Malakar on season 6 of AI?
a. Vote for the Worst
b. Vote for My Idol
c. Vote for Sanjaya

33. Which song did P!nk perform during AI season six?
a. “Last to Know”
b. “Who Knew”
c. “Nobody Knows”

34. Who was the first person to gain fame for being so bad he was good enough to get a record deal as a novelty act?
a. William Hurt
b. William Hung
c. Will.i.am

35. What famous chef appeared in the season five finale in a skit with Kellie Pickler?
a. Jamie Oliver
b. Emeril Lagasse
c. Wolfgang Puck

ANSWER KEY:
1b 19 Entertainment, 2a 76 million, 3a “A Moment Like This,” 4c American Idol Rewind, 5b Baton Rouge, 6a Brian Dunkleman, 7c Both a and b, 8a Coca-Cola Red Room, 9b Denver, 10c E! News, 11b Edy’s, 12a Effie White, 13b Fear Factor, 14c Graceland, 15a Harold, 16a “rude,” 17b jewelry designer, 18c Josh Gracin, 19a Kat McPhee, 20b Kelly Clarkson, 21a Mario Vasquez, 22c Melinda Doolittle, 23a Mustang, 24b Pop Idol, 25a Raleigh, 26b Rickey Minor, 27c Ruben Studdard, 28a Fuller, 29b So You Think You Can Dance, 30b The Color Purple, 31b “This is My Now,” 32a votefortheworst.com, 33b “Who Knew,” 34b William Hung, 35c Wolfgang Puck

So how did you do?
If you got less than 5 correct - you more than likely live in a cave with the Geico guys.
If you got 5 to 10 correct - you must be watching Brett Michaels' Rock of Love instead of American Idol!
If you got 10 to 15 correct - you must read the tabloid headlines while at the checkout stand.
If you got 15 to 20 correct - you are almost a fan!
If you got 20 to 25 correct - you are a fan!
If you got 25 to 30 correct - you are a die hard fan!
If you got all 35 correct - oh; you must be me...

Colton Berry - Ellen G's Little Bro?

Colton Berry, a likable kid who joked unabashedly about his resemblance to Ellen Degeneres was the last one voted off on Thursday night's show.

Although he was shown briefly during Hollywood week, we did not get a chance to know Colton very well.

From his AI home page:
Q: Do you have any rituals or things you do before you perform?
A: I get WAY hyper and talk WAY too much and usually embarrass myself...never fails.

Colton is surprisingly confident in his EW exit interview. He thinks he did a GREAT job and does not understand why he was voted off so early. As to Simon's overly harsh comments, Colton says: "Simon's job is to sit there and be mean. I expected him to say something like that, and of course, I didn't take it personally."

From his AOL interview, regarding Broadway: "I'm going to set up as many auditions as I can and really go for that. One of my favorites is Wicked. I would love to play the male, Fiero. Oh my God, that's my dream role!"

Keeping in touch... Colton's community theater page.

Joanne Borgella - Reality Show Pro

Joanne is already a successful plus-sized model, due in part to her winning a modeling contest a couple years ago.

From her AI home page:
Q: Favorite male pop artists?
A: Chris Daughtry (not just saying that).

Q: What other talents do you have?
A: I love to make jewelry and design clothing.

From her EW exit interview we learn that Joanne was planning on breaking Contestant Rule #1 (no Whitney!!) but alas, we did not get to experience that. Maybe someday.

In her AOL interview she talks about the joy of being on the show: "I seriously feel like a winner. It was just amazing to even be part of this experience... I think it's just opened like 80 billion more doors."

Keeping in touch... Joanne's two myspace pages ;
Winning Mo'Nique's F.A.T. Chance, a reality show on the Oxygen channel.

Amy Davis - Season 7s Token Maxim Model

Amy Davis was the first of the ladies to be voted off the American Idol "island." She is a beautiful, smart, articulate young lady who will be very successful.

From her AI home page:
Favorite Quote: "His grace is sufficient for me."

During her exit interview on EW, she says that not having an "in-ear" monitor is what caused her not to be able to stay on pitch. She believes that she is good at singing folk music and Patti Griffin is her inspiration.

In her AOL interview, she talks about the people behind the scenes: "I have so much respect for them and it was just really a cool thing."

Keeping in touch... Amy's myspace page.

If you are reading this and you are a teenaged boy (or any male for that matter), go look at the Maxim photos of Amy online. Google will be your best friend!

Garrett Haley - "Hair" Today, Gone Just-Like-That

Garrett Haley, we barely knew ye...

Young Garrett was not shown during the audition episodes so never really stood a chance to build a fan base.

Although we did not get a chance to get to know him very well, he seems like a kid who has a good head on his shoulders.

From Garrett's AI home page:
Q: What are your personal goals in life?
A: To be productive and a positive influence in society.

From his EW exit interview -
Q: How are you feeling after being the first of the Top 24 to go?
A: I'm actually feeling really good. I told myself that morning that either way, even if I get sent home, I'm going to be happy and smiling and stuff. I'm still happy and I'm still smiling.

In his AOL interview, he mentions that he found Simon's remarks about his pale appearance amusing.

Keeping in touch... Garrett's myspace page.

I wonder if his parents knew when they named him that he would grow up to have hair like 70s teen idol Leif Garrett?

Top 24 - Eliminations

February 21, 2008

Tonight better not be sad because I have used up my quota of “TV tears” on All My Children’s Jesse & Angie Reunion.

Looks like tonight the contestants are dressed up in 1960s clothes; at least it seems the girls are. Seeing Carly dressed like Audrey Hepburn is rather strange.

For filler fodder, Ryan jokes about how it’s just the funnest when they are live! They take this time to address a couple of the controversies that have been created, er, I mean brewing this season.

Controversy number one – is it fair that some of these kids are seasoned pros while some are straight from a sushi restaurant job? Paula answers noooo, they should ALL be pursuing a career in music; if not why are they here?

Controversy number two – does Simon use reverse psychology when judging the contestants, to somehow sway the votes? Simon denies using any Jedi mind tricks, but thanks for thinking that he was that sly.

Next we get to see the video set to Daughtry’s “What About Now” with the 24 contestants and a plane and paparazzi thrown in for a good measure. There is not a single ugly kid in the mix this year. This just may be the best looking top 24 yet.

Group Sing Time of a medley of 60s songs is up next. The 12 guys go first and they sound pretty good together. It looks like the stylists have already gotten a hold of them; they are all wearing black suits with ties. The 12 ladies come out next and they are all decked out in varying outfits from Grandma’s attic. Most of them seem to be having a good time, although Amanda is like WTH am I doing here?

Now it’s time to eliminate one of the guys. First a recap of Tuesday’s show showing the belting, the fussing, the rocking, the theatrical, the very boring, and the oh no you din’t!!

Without further ado, Garrett is called up by Ryan and just-like-that he is sent home. No commercial break, no last hurrah, just bye-bye Garrett Haley. Poor little we-never-knew-you guy takes the news well.

For all of the changes that they’ve made on the show, seems like they’d do away with the crappy singing of the Song That Got Me Voted Off. With all of the Leif/Frampton comparisons, I think Garrett looks a bit like the lead singer of Whitesnake as well, but then I am a gal from the 80s. If they do a theme week from that era, please someone do “Here I Go Again.” But I digress.

Now it’s time to send one of the girls home. We see the recap of last night’s show: the flu-infested, the lifeless, the divas, the folksies, the screamers, and mostly the blondes.

Ryan calls Kristy to the stage and she and her Faye Dunaway hairdo are safe. And we hope to goodness she is over that bad flu bug.

Amy Davis will be the first girl to go tonight. Paula says something about painting that door on the knob or some such nonsense. Poor Amy now has to warble that Connie Francis tune again. After two notes, My Kid says, “How did she make it past top 50?” My answer, “Bikini model. Google Amy Jean Davis.” Kid’s reply, “No thanks.” Hubby says to Kid, “Can I borrow your laptop?”

Because we have more time to mutilate, torture, and kill… we get to see the latest music video from Paula Abdul. The song was produced by our very own Randy Jackson, who also is featured playing guitar in the vid. Just when I had finally got this song out of my head, here we go again. It’s not horrible and Paula looks better than ever. My Kid reminisces that DJ on Full House had a poster of Paula on her wall; thank goodness for Nick at Nite, where Uncle Jesse will be young and gorgeous and mulleted forever.

Back to the eliminations… Ryan calls both Amanda and Joanne up to the stage; one of them is going home. They both look retro yet beautiful in the 60s garb. Joanne will be the one leaving tonight. Randy gives her some good advice while Simon snarks into his Coke cup. My Kid and I ponder if this means that Amanda was the one with the next least amount of votes? While Joanne sings, the camera pans the other girls hugging and crying and comforting, and we argue over which Random Blonde is which.

Chikezie and Colton are called to the stage. Keez cops a ‘tude while getting up, but no wonder. At least no orange suit tonight thank goodness. And could they make Colton look more like Clay Aiken?? Colton/Clay is the last one of the evening to go home. Another of the kids who did not have a snowball’s chance in the pits of Hades.

Now it’s montage time, set to that melancholy song for Garrett, Amy, Joanne, and Colton. Then Colton disguised as Clay does Elvis one last time.

So we are down two teenage boys and two girl models. I totally called the guys wrong (sorry Luke and Jason) but got the gals correct.

Gotta go get My Hubby off of Google now…

‘Til next week! Ta!

60s Night - Top 12 Gals

February 20, 2008

It’s the ladies turn to bring down the house. Will they thrill us or chill us? Ryan reminds us that we have the best group EVER and are we ready to play judge?

Unfortunately a bad flu bug has been making the rounds and some of the gals have been sick. This explains the couple of empty chairs in the sideline cheering section last night.

We have to fill two hours again tonight; half that minus commercials (isn’t it weird how TV shows are kinda like paychecks in the way that you can expect about 35% of it to be wasted?)

Ryan tells the gals to pop a cough drop cuz the show must go on! Then it’s an overview of Randy-isms and we notice that Paula and little Danny have the same hair stylist.

Simon reminds us that he really does like it when contestants sass him, and confirms that the name of the universe from which he’s from is “Hmmm?” (Just a reminder that the fans watching do NOT like back-talk and the votes reflect that.)

Quick takes of twelve journeys by twelve ladies thus far … then as Alexandrea says “are you freaking serious??” … we are off to the first layer of Ford and iTunes and Coke.

The first gal performing is Kristy Lee Cook and it’s a good thing that she’s already had enough airplay to form a fan base. Spot One is the only number one that that is NOT of the good on this show. During her video she talks about having to sell her horse to go to the audition in Philly. We need to start a fund-raiser to get that horse back for that girl! Show of hands? If she were on Deal or No Deal, Howie would get it back for her. But I digress, because now Kristy is singing “Rescue Me” by someone who did it before Linda Ronstadt did it better. Kristy is no Linda and not singing very well at all. She’s very pretty in the Felicity Porter/Peyton Sawyer way of carefree casualness. While she is performing, David C. breaks Contestant Rule #12: Do not sit sullenly on the sidelines while a co-contestant is performing. It’s just rude. Randy and Paula feel sorry for Kristy as she has been sick and shaky and probably needs to be hooked up to IVs or something. Simon says so what to the whole “I’m sick” thing; he is already tired of hearing it and so are we. Kristy takes it in stride and needs to go lie down now. Ryan goes all Monk-like in his attempt to not get near her germs.

Joanne Borgella, the plus-sized model, is next and she talks about how most people are surprised that she has a mellow voice vs. a big-diva voice. Tonight she doesn’t have much of a voice at all on “I Say a Little Prayer,” bless her heart. My Kid and I notice that she has the most beautiful skin we have ever seen and wonder if Mo’Nique hooked her up with a good cosmetic line back when she won that contest. And Joanne is wearing a gorgeous fitted blouse and we speculate if this is perchance one of her own designs? Well, we have to talk about SOMETHING beacuse as this song says, it goes on and on forever and ever. What happened to the days when they had like, 90 seconds each? Randy and Paula are once again sympathetic and understanding of the bubonic plague that is making the rounds, but they did not love the performance. To random boos, Simon plays the “cabaret” card. Joanne’s dad is in the audience probably wondering, where is that hit man that the McPhees hired a couple years ago? During Ryan banter, Joanne is articulate and tired and classy. Love her, but she is in danger after tonight.

Next, Ryan sits on the couch with Luke & Laura Spencer’s daughter, (no wait, it’s Alaina Whitaker) who says that Thursday (vote off night) is her birthday so don’t let her down, ‘k? We are reminded in her video that at her initial try-out she was told by Simon that she was “not as good as she thinks she is” and how she said “shoot” to Simon and now all her friends are teasing her about it. Lulu, darn it, I mean Alaina, takes the stage and we are distracted by the fact that she is missing half of her shirt. Then a strange thing happens; she can SING her 16-year-old fanny off! Girl is rocking “More Today than Yesterday” and yes, that one was done last night by one of the guys. The 60s catalog must have been about ten pages, as usual. Here is a gal that I did not want to like, but she is the best singer so far. Randy says that he’s like “what??” and Paula compares her to Diana Ross. Simon says he hates the song, WTH is it? Which is weird since we heard it just last night from Chikezie (no last name) Eze. But Simon likes Alaina and she is sailing through to the next round. For no good reason, now we are subjected to Judges Gone Wild Part 27. Hopefully after tonight the Alaina/Carrie comparisons will end, since this chick actually has a personality.

The rocker chick we love, Amanda Overmyer is up next. In her video she talks about her car accident and how she is now the joke of her family: “if a semi-truck can’t take her down nothing else will.” She sadly promises not to do anymore Janis Joplin songs which is lame, because she does Janis better than Janis did. Tonight she rocks it right away with “Baby, Please Don't Go,” which is a funky blues song but somewhat repetitive. Can’t understand most of the words she is singing, as Ricky and the band are drowning her out a little bit. My Hubby and Kid and I are ecstatic over Amanda anyway; she’s still our favorite of the girls, just on principle. Randy loves the song, the scatting, and the patchwork pants. Paula ensures her that she is NOT a “one trick pony” and loves everything about her. Simon agrees with the Amanda-loving but adds “at some stage you've got to come out and prove what a great singer you are.” Amanda is like, I don’t give a fast $%^&, so whatever. She is witty and laid-back and original and we don’t care if she wins American Idol or not; we want to buy her concert tickets right now. Very funny how they have to explain scatting to Simon and laugh and laugh and laugh. One of the “you had to watch it yourself” moments. Ryan takes glee that Amanda is probably the only contestant who could kick Simon’s butt.

Up next is Amy Davis, who talks about being a trade show model and grad student and how being on AI was like “100 Christmases for a six-year-old girl.” Tonight she starts out rough on “Where the Boys Are” and it just goes downhill from there. Want to know where the boys are, Amy? They are all on Google, looking for the bikini photos from your “trade show” modeling days. She has an elegant hairdo but is shaky and nervous and more than likely one of the gals that was sick this week. But bless her heart, she can't carry a tune in a 5 gallon bucket with a lid. Randy and Paula blame everything except her bad voice, but go on and on forever about how pretty she looks. Simon agrees with the “pretty” part but warns her that she might get voted off tomorrow. She’ll need to count on those enthralled teenaged boy votes. At least once AI is over, she can help her look-alike Cameron get back to the business of saving John Connor and the future of mankind!

Now we are on to Random Blonde Girl number 8,675,309, Brooke White, the nanny. She reminds us in her video that she is the one that Simon promised to “bring to the dark side” to which she said “I dare you” to SIMON COWELL!! Brooke is lovely but from the Ally McBeal/Helen Gamble school of skinny that brings to mind war camps and those Christian Children’s Fund infomercials. This evening she sings “Happy Together,” another repeat-o song that rocker David did last night. Brooke is pleasant enough I suppose in a Natasha Bedingfield kinda way. She does the weird “my head, my head!” thing during the “bah bah bah” part of the song. Randy reminds her that she did good but she needed to SLAY it, she needs to get her SLAYING on. He has to explain to Simon (and Brooke) that slaying is not what Buffy did for seven seasons to vampires and random demons. It’s about KILLING a song; okay we think we got it. Simon goes on and on about happiness and yellow sunshine and then for some reason it turns into a Joy “washing up liquid” commercial, lemon scented. This show SLAYS me sometimes. Brooke is too mature for this silly contest and everyone knows it. Quick shot of her mom and hubby in the audience; Mr. White is a hunk. So Brooke is in a win-win situation here, yellow sunshine be danged.

Now we have the teen with the cute great-granny, Alexandrea Lushington. For a mere child she seems very mature and articulate in her video. Tonight she looks totally different from how we have seen her so far – gone are the army jackets and ball caps. She is rocking on “Spinning Wheel” also referred to as the “What Comes Up Must Come Down” song. She looks like you expect a teenage kid to look; hot-pink headband and sneakers, decorated tee shirt, one dangling peace sign earring, suspenders. Okay maybe the suspenders are from grandpa’s closet. No matter, she is fun and fabulous and her voice is not pitch perfect but overall she does a great job. Randy and Paula think so too and give her props and kudos, especially for the “dope” outfit. Simon plays the “I didn’t get it” card, in spite of how Alexandrea exhibits the “relevant” that he has expounded over and over. Alexandrea corrects Ryan on the mispronunciation of her name and he’s like, oh snap! Alexandrea breaks Contestant Rule #14: Don’t read the cue cards along with Ryan. It’s just silly. Nice to see some personality from “Miz Alex” though, so we’ll give her a pass this time.

Next up is Kristy again. No wait, it’s Alaina. Oh, it’s the gal that does the cool Britney Spears impression. Yeah! It’s Kady Malloy and she is funny in her video talking about her “obsession” with music and oh how I can relate to that. They show her backstage during Hollywood week doing the Britney and it’s so dead-on it’s creepy. She promises that she does have her own voice, thank-you-very-much. Unfortunately she is NOT bringing it on “A Groovy Kind of Love,” as she is listless and sad and obviously one of the endless Sick Girls Club members. For me, this is a Phil Collins song from the 80s but it must have been done before as this is 60s night. Randy is disappointed that Kady did not bring to the stage the funny, exciting girl that we saw in the video. Paula tells her how pretty she looks and Kady’s ‘tude is like yeah I know, right? Simon says that it was like Night of the Living Dead and critiques her for a thousand years. If looks could kill he’d be dead between the glares from Kady and Her Random Friend From the Audience. Somebody please cue the STHU music, stat! Ryan doesn’t make friends with Kady either but he’s just there to ask the questions, so back off Terminator Barbie!

Moving on, thank holy God, to Asia’h Epperson. For those who have been living in a cave for the past five weeks, she is the one whose father died while she was at the AI audition in Atlanta. Okay we got it. This is going to be one of those tales-of-woe that they never ever stop talking about. Since Amanda was the one who signed the No Janis pact, this does not apply to Asia’h who does an R&B version of “Piece of My Heart.” Actually, in her version it’s “Piece of My R.” Remember when Carrie sang the Faith Hill version of this song in season four? Ah, memories. Anyways, Asia’h is pretty and stylish and looks the part of a soul/pop diva. Her earrings look like they weigh more than she does. The judges have put their Grudge Match on hold as they are all in (gasp) agreement that Asia’h is the bomb. Simon is excited to pronounce her performance as his “favorite of the night” and while I still do not think she is the strongest singer, her enthusiasm surely is infectious. There is no question that she is genuinely adorable.

Ramiele Malubay is up next and we are reminded that she is the tiny Filipino gal who works in a sushi restaurant. Every time we see her, My Kid and I start singing the beginning of the Destiny’s Child song from Charlie’s Angels, “Lucy Liu… and my girl Drew.” (Probably one of those things that makes sense to only us.) Tonight Ramiele sings “You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me” and for the first time since Amanda, My Hubby is excited about a contestant. Ramiele reminds us of a James Bond girl for some reason. Her version of this song could definitely be the theme for the next 007 movie. She has a marvelous voice without going over the top with the vocal. Randy tells her she was “very classy, almost like a pro” and Simon reminds her that although he did not like her at first, she’s grown on him. Then Ryan comes up to talk about fashion and shoes. “Oh Ryan!” indeed. They are really cool shoes though. And Ryan just has to love her; she makes him look like a basketball player.

Next on the red couch, Ryan talks to Syesha Mercado, who for no apparent reason is sitting on her knees. Just for that, it’s points off for this girl. She just rubs me wrong and has from day one. We are reminded that she lost her voice during Hollywood week, oh pitiful her. Hopefully her flash cards are still lying around somewhere so she can share them with the others from the Sick Girls Club that she’s avoiding. So last year when Phil Stacey sang “Tobacco Road,” remember that? Of course you do, it was one of his better performances. Only bringing that up because Syesha is singing that song tonight and I have to give her props for getting all rock-n-rolly with it. Not used to seeing the sista-gyrls rock out like that. Still don’t understand why they need scarves on the inside of a building in California. Can someone with fashion sense explain that to me please? My Kid says it’s the STYLE, mom. Anyway the judges love her all the way from Tobacco Road and back, but I still ain’t feeling it. Paula does a strange Tourettes-like “Joyful! Fun! Big!” and reminds her of the YES in her name. When Syesha just smiles and doesn’t speak, she’s not so bad.

The coveted “pimp spot” of the evening goes to Carly Smithson, and why not? For the last person on the continent who does not already know this, Carly is a second-chance at stardom contestant. A few years ago, she released an album, it was a notorious flop, label folded, yada yada. Can we all just get over this now? Tonight she sings a song I have never heard before, something called “Shadow of Your Smile.” It is slow and kinda coma-inducing but her voice is good, borderline excellent. Not understanding why she is wearing a maternity top but it’s okay; the better to cover the tattoos. She looks pretty tonight albeit she could use some volumizing conditioner. Randy pronounces her the “best vocal of the Top 24,” to which we say Huh? Paula goes on and on with giddiness as well, but then Simon… well sometimes we thank God for Simon. He brings up the hype and the high expectations and how she did not live up to it. Carly looks crestfallen but takes the criticism well. My Kid mentions that she reminds her of the lady in Nightwish but I have no clue who that is so will have to ask my good friend Google. Funny how Paula and Randy give lessons in mic holding to Simon.

Recap time and although I was not keeping tabs, several of the gals broke Contestant Rule #8: Do not hold on to the microphone for dear life. Death grips are not attractive.

Quotes of the evening:

Ryan: “I hope the semi truck driver is out there watching and voting for you, so…”
Amanda: “Yeah, sorry for pulling out in front of you dude, like seriously; I didn’t mean to.”
Ryan: “Her bad.”

Simon: “I presume that you are going to be really nice throughout this competition?”
Brooke: “Is that … okay … with you?”
Simon: “Not really, no.”

Best vocal of the evening is begrudgingly, Alaina. Best overall performance though, definitely Amanda.

Prediction to go home: Amy for sure; maybe Joanne unfortunately. Who knows, the Random Blondes may cancel each other out. Tomorrow will tell…

60s Night - Top 12 Guys

February 19, 2008

For the umpteenth time we hear that THIS year we have the BEST crop of talent ever. Contestants from the previous six years are going “Well! Thanks Seacrest.”

Ryan presents to us a mathematical word problem: if 24 contestants have to be weeded down to 12 and half of these can be male… the answer is! Get ready to lose half of the guys you see tonight in the next three weeks.

Quick intro of the 12 guys but only 11 of the gals are sitting in the sideline seats. Carly is missing and there’s not even an empty chair to represent her. Things that make you go HMMM.

Yes, the judges are here tonight and just for the small number of people who are tuning in to the show for the first time ever, Ryan explains their roles. It’s pretty much to criticize the contestants AND each other. AND Ryan. Got that everybody?

As we prepare to watch the Top 24 Part VII, we can not help but wonder if this season will be different from the past. Surely, this crop of kids has studied the Guide Book and memorized the rules. Let’s prepare to keep track…

During the audition weeks we already covered Contestant Rule #1: If you are not Whitney, Mariah, or Celine do NOT perform a song by Whitney, Mariah, or Celine. This rule won’t apply for tonight’s theme, but be on the look-out for it as the season progresses.

We see flashes of the 12 guys either in their initial auditions, in Hollywood, or just mugging at the camera. Then it’s the first of ten hundred million commercials.

AI and iTunes are dating and Matchmaker Ryan tells us all about that courtship. Finally, we can get on with some singing.

Because our attention spans are extremely limited, we will be reminded via montage of each guy’s AI journey thus far, with the requisite interview.

The Powers That Run Idol have already started with Theme Shows, and tonight's genre is songs from the ‘60s. Otherwise known as Songs From Before Your Parents Were Even Born.

From seasons past, we already know that the contestant who performs first is usually cannon fodder. Who will draw the short straw for the Spot of Doom? It will be poor David Hernandez who was a favorite of mine from Hollywood week and the one that Simon lectured to “stand out more.” He speaks of his single mom and broken family and seems very serious and sincere. David sings “In the Midnight Hour” and his voice is good but overall performance is somewhat underwhelming. Of all the guys in the Top 24, he is the one that blends into the background somewhat. Not unattractive, just nondescript, like beige wallpaper, ya know? He breaks Contestant Rule #2: Do not imitate cardboard and be all stiff and unwieldy like pre-Grammy-winning-Carrie-bot. Randy says and I agree that we liked the “whole kind of gospel vibe in the front,” and Paula mumbles something about his vibrato. Simon adds that David was “a little bit rabbit in the headlights.” During Ryan banter, David professes that he is relieved to go first and get all that out of the way.

Chikezie Eze is up next, but he is known as Just Chikezie now, thanks. He reminisces about being in the Wrong Room last year and is so thrilled to be in the Top 24 this time. He starts out kinda rough on “More Today Than Yesterday” and breaks Contestant Rule #4: Do not add an unnecessary WHOO to the middle of your song. Not completely bad but not great. Randy and Paula tell him that he is a throwback to Old School, which works on 60’s night. Simon begs to differ and starts his critique by calling him Jacuzzi. Brat. I do have to agree that the pumpkin-colored suit is a bit much; I was looking for Linus and Charlie Brown. Then Chikezie breaks Contestant Rule #10: Do not talk back to Simon (no matter WHAT he says.) Although Simon claims that he likes it when contestants are ballsy, this tactic has been proven to scare voters away from the phone. Good point though about the not-many colors of Simon’s wardrobe.

Ryan sits on the bright red couch with Colton and rocker David. Colton talks cutely about his resemblance to Ellen DeGeneres and My Kid shouts out “Spinelli!” David seems calm and collected but swears it’s just a ruse.

In David Cook’s montage, he says he is puzzled by Simon’s comment after his first audition, “other than being a bit worthy…” All of we AI fans have been wondering about that too, so hopefully we will find out this evening. Tonight he starts slow on “Happy Together” and we strap in for a great ride with this guy. He is a seasoned pro and it is so evident that he is very much in his element. Bartender, Schmartender. He brings life to an old song but does break Contestant Rule #5: Please, for the love of Bo Bice, do not twirl the microphone stand. And also Contestant Rule #6: Do not make goo-goo eyes at the camera, a’la Constantine Maroulis. Randy says that he “made a rock joint” of the song and just to mock Simon, Paula adds, “It was a bit worthy ... it's worthy of great praise.” Have to agree. Unfortunately, Simon has had a lobotomy since he used that word and can’t remember what he meant by it. Another mystery that will remain unsolved.

Next is Jason Yeager and we finally see his initial audition, in which he is great. We also see him in Dallas with his adorable little boy. Jason seems like such a nice guy, attractive and personable. Why they saved his footage is a mystery to me, although Nigel recently stated in an interview that they had issues with getting song clearances. Okaaaay. They must have cleared those up because here we are, at the eleventh hour. Jason croons “Moon River” and we all take a nap at my house. His voice is pleasant enough and he has a gorgeous smile, but this is the type of singing that you hear at one of those fancy-pants type restaurants where proposals of marriage are taking place. Randy plays the “pitchy” card, duh. Paula says “I did my first ballet recital to that song,” and everyone says awwww. Then Simons counters with, “I bought my first puppy to that song.” Funny guy that Simon. Then Jason breaks “Contestant Rule #9: Do not play the “I dedicate this song to my grandma” card.

Robbie Carrico is up next and we finally officially learn that he was in a “boy band with girls,” and they toured with Britney back in the days when she was a pop singer. Sad how Harvey and TMZ (a.k.a. the devil and his minions) have aided in creating the train-wreck that we see today, but I digress. Back to Idol... these days Robbie just wants to be a rocker, dude! He is rather cute minus the beanie/scarf/headband. Tonight he sings “One is the Loneliest Number” and he has a wonderful voice. The band helps with making this song more “current,” one of Simon’s favorite words. Robbie breaks Contestant Rule #7: Do not hold up a finger to indicate number one (or two, or three, etc.) It’s just geeky. Randy loves him and calls him “baby.” Paula says his vocals “were right in the pocket the way they should be.” Simon goes on for a hundred years about relevance. For no apparent reason, Ryan throws out the Justin Timberlake comparison, to Robbie’s chagrin.

The most adorable American Idol contestant EVER is up next. This is the guy that I want My Kid to marry one day, or at least go to the prom with. David Archuleta is so tiny and little and sweet and My Kid is like, CAN WE KEEP HIM?? Fingers crossed that the boy can really sing and this is not just Sanjaya 2.0. David sings “Shop Around,” which I remember as a Captain & Tennille song. He is awesome and practically perfect! My Kid loves him but questions the message in the song: “so his mom is giving him permission to be a man-ho?” If I was 30 years younger, I would be like the blonde Crying Girl from last year. The judges love him times three as they should. David is breathless and shy and goofy. He breaks Contestant Rule #15: Watch out for the patented Katharine McPhee “nervous lip lick” but that’s okay. Ryan makes the funny “you can only vote for him, you actually can’t adopt him.” Darn it!

Next up is Danny Noriega who is hilarious but I can only take about fifteen seconds of him. I enjoy listening to him sing but he’s got way too much sugar in the tank for this very old-fashioned person. He sings “Jailhouse Rock” and his voice is terrific and on-key. He is not effete when he sings but his dancing is way out of control. The low rider pants scream girly; I have to avert my eyes from the TV to get through this performance. The judges seem to be as confused as we are: Randy reluctantly says, “it was kinda hot” and is GLAAD he had a good time. Paula upgrades to “almost scalding” and plays the card of “so many different colors.” The audience boos as Simon rips him a new one, starting with “grotesque.” Danny breaks the Contestant Rule #10 (see Chikezie) and even gives him the shoulder snap. Paula and Simon argue for a thousand years and we can ensure at least 10% of the voters will be dialing Danny’s number tonight.

Back to the men… Luke Menard is up next and he is one of the four “mystery” guys. We finally see his initial try-out and learn that he is also a repeat auditioner from last year. He is very handsome with a pretty wife and seems nice. Right away though, he breaks Contestant Rule #11: Unless you are performing outdoors in winter, do not wear your coat or any other outerwear while singing. He does “Everybody’s Talking At Me” and it is long and boring and he does not really sound very good. It’s not howling-dog bad but close. Perhaps Cameron Crowe will make a sequel to Elizabethtown and Luke can play Drew Baylor’s younger brother. Only Luke’s extremely handsome face will get him through this round, and the judges agree. Paula compares him to Kenny Loggins, and My Kid says Who? (Sometimes it is annoying to watch this show with her.) Simon quips to Paula, “what color was it?” and plays the “forgettable” card. Luke is the third person to break rule #10 tonight… watch out guys.

Colton Berry is up next and he is cute and squeaky-voiced and has been watching AI since the beginning (when he was an infant.) Oh my, right away in his video, he breaks an unwritten contestant rule: do not mention the Teletubbies! Colton is cute in that “this is the guy that can help me upgrade the memory on my laptop” kinda way. Colton sings “Suspicious Minds,” otherwise known as The Song That Got Daughtry Voted Off. My Kid is appalled that anyone would even attempt to sing a Chris song and I patiently try to explain that it’s actually an Elvis song. (If she says Who? I think I will frog her.) At any rate, Colton has a nice enough voice but his performance is annoying and too high-school-musical to my taste. He breaks Contestant Rule #3: Do not smile while singing “sad song” lyrics. Paula and Randy like Colton okay but Simon brings up the “musical theater” issue which is valid. Ryan tries to start a riot before we finally mercifully move on.

Ryan compares the mop hair of 70s stars Peter Frampton and Leif Garrett to the next guy up, Garrett Haley. Garrett is cute but terribly frail; hopefully there will be no wind machines tonight. We see his initial audition and he has a high-pitched pleasant voice. We learn that he auditioned while on vacation in San Diego. Better than Disney World, at least for the Haley family. Tonight Garrett sings “Breaking Up is Hard to Do” and has the deer (not rabbit, Simon) in-the-headlights look from note one. He also breaks the “don’t be stiff” rule and a couple of others, but then I suddenly wake up from my nap and it’s over. My Kid says that she likes Garrett, he is cool and hot at the same time and likes his peach fuzz. Randy and Paula go on and on about how Garrett should have done something different with the song and surely he is thinking “Dude, I just learned it five minutes ago.” Simon tells him that he looks pale and terrified and like something that just crawled out of the Cryptkeeper’s attic. Poor child counters that maybe he should “Go tanning?”

Ryan sits on the red couch and reminds us about the American Idol/iTunes love connection. Great… we are going to have to hear this at least seventy thousand more times this season.

Dreadlocked Jason Castro is up next, and although most people my age find this look “dread”ful, I kinda dig it. So there! (I am “current” and “relevant!”) We finally get to see his first audition and he has a nice voice and cute face and amiable personality. Jason is twenty and has only sang in public a few times. This season is so bizarre with the mixture of pros and amateurs that it’s like watching two different shows at times. Jason strums his guitar while singing “What a Day for a Daydream” and we can’t help but wonder if he realizes what the “bundle of joy” reference means. He breaks Contestant Rule #13: If you are a mere child, do not sing songs about being married with kids, reminiscing about your long life. His voice cracks a couple of times but it sounds like it’s intentional. Overall it’s a solid performance, and Randy and Paula agree. Simon is more ecstatic and tells him that it was “in the Top 2 performances of the night.” He mentions that Jason, like David has that elusive “it” factor. (He doesn’t say which of the three Davids he means but we can guess.)

The last spot of the evening, known in the AI fan community as the “pimp spot” goes to Australia’s Michael Johns. In his video he reminds we U.S. citizens that he has been in the states his entire adult life, thank-you-very-much. Tonight he is rocking out to the Doors’ “Light My Fire” complete with a fiery screensaver background. For no apparent reason at all, he is wearing a scarf; is it THAT cold in California this time of year? Indoors? (See Rule #11, dude.) No matter, he does exactly what he was supposed to do: show everyone else thus far how it’s DONE. His voice is fine, he is fine, and the judges are fine. It’s all good. Randy compares him to the late Michael Hutchence (of INXS before they sold out to Rock Star.) Paula has completely melted and Simon tells him that he’s the “most consistent” contestant that they’ve had so far. During Ryan banter, Michael mentions that he sang this song during Hollywood. Thanks for the reminder; now I remember how Amanda did it better. Still love ya though.

Recap time of the top 12 guys, oddly enough most of them shown mid rule-breaking. My Kid and I try to pick our favorites.

Quote of the evening –
Simon: “I just think if people spent more time worrying about their voices rather than their hair…”
Ryan: “That’s called hopeless that box cut you’ve got …”

Leader of the pack by a mile is Star Search’s David Archuleta. Several of the others were also good. No one was howling-bad, but I predict that the two going home on Thursday will be Jason Yeager and Luke Menard. I know, I know, WHO?

Tomorrow it’s Girls Nite Up to the mic…

Twins Separated at Birth? (The Gals)

It happens every year, as soon as the Top 24 contestants are chosen... the inevitable question: "doesn't she remind you of... (fill in the blank.)" This season is no exception to that concept.

From top left:
Actress Rae Dawn Chong (in her younger days) & Contestant Asia'h Epperson
Contestant Kady Malloy & pop star Britney Spears (pre train-wreck)
Contestant Ramiele Malubay & soap/TV actress Lindsey Price
Contestant Amy Davis & actress Summer Glau from Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Country star/former Idol Carrie Underwood & Contestant Alaina Whitaker
Contestant Carly Smithson & singer Amy Lee of the band Evanscence

Look-alikes? (The Guys)

Not exactly Doppelgangers, but some of the comparisons are valid... This year's crop of contestants have been compared to all kinds of celebs -
From top left:
Late actor Heath Ledger & Contestant Michael Johns
Contestant Robbie Carrico & rock singer Bret Michaels
Movie star Orlando Bloom & Contestant Luke Menard
Contestant Garrett Haley & 70s teen star Leif Garrett
Chris Gaines (alter ego of Garth Brooks) & Contestant David Cook
Contestant Colton Berry & soap actor Bradford Anderson from General Hospital