February 27, 2008
“Casual Day” Ryan reminds us that millions of people are watching, lest we forget that we are tuning into the #1 rated show on this planet. Quick intro of the ten gals and it’s still hard to tell which blonde is which. And when did the Bride of Frankenstein join the show? OMG I think that was Amanda. Ack!
To distract from that, we have conservation with the judges, discussing song choice and Paula’s blouse being so high-necked that she’s choking. Simon reminding us that he’s a butthole with Ryan fanning the flames.
Just like last night, each contestant will have a “video reveal” then perform a classic song from the 70s. Wondering if we will get some Ronstadt, Benatar, Blondie, maybe some Heart? Will even take some Dolly or Emmylou.
First up is Carly who informs us that she works at an Irish pub in her spare time from the tattoo shop. She looks happy there in the clip they show of her; much more excited than in that video she made for “I’m Gonna Blow Your Mind.” Anyways tonight she’s doing one of my favorite Heart songs, “Crazy on You.” Ann Wilson has one of those untouchable voices that’s hard to mimic. Carly gives it her all and comes close to great on this song. She looks pretty but Victoria has revealed her “secret;” she’s kinda bouncy. Evidently leggings have been resurrected because all the gals seem to be wearing them this year. Carly explains to the judges that she loves Heart and it’s been her dream to sing that song on this show. Randy and Paula are glad that she is over the flu, and she did well. Simon liked her okay but thinks she can still do better, proclaiming that she’s the girl to beat this year.
Syesha is up next and she tells us that she is an actress with many commercials under her belt. There is no mention of her being on the AI-like reality show called The One a couple years back. Then she proceeds to do her “baby voice” and it’s so nice to know that she has something to fall back on. Because tonight we can tell it’s going to be bad just as soon as she starts singing. For no apparent reason at all she is singing “Me and Mrs. Jones,” only with “Mr.” Some songs can be done by both male and females, just change the “he” to “she” and vice versa, but this is ridiculous. Makes no sense. Randy liked the clip of her commercial but that’s it, and Paula adds that though she’s very beautiful, the song was merely okay. Mr. States-the-Obvious says that the song wasn’t written for a girl to sing, duh. He reams her on song choice but Syesha has a look of extreme disinterest.
Next is Brooke, who has flattened her hair and it’s unflattering. She tells us that she went to beauty school and even though she still has that urge to do hair because it’s “like art,” music took precedence. We don’t hear about the cute music vid she made depicting the “beauty school dropout” plot though. So tonight she is on stage with her guitar, wearing the brightest color orange I have ever seen on my TV. She sings “You’re so Vain” and she does really well until the chorus; the back-up singers drown her out a bit, but it’s okay as she’s not hitting those low notes very well. We all know this song as an “angry Carly Simon lashing out at some mystery guy she’s mad at,” so it’s a bit off-putting that Brooke is performing it in her usual “I am so happy” way. All three judges absolutely dig her and her interpretation of the song. Everyone gets a really big giggle thinking that Simon is vain, too.
In the red room with the big Ford tire coffee table, Ryan chats with Ramiele about her nervous breakdown during last week’s vote-off show. Doesn’t she realize that every single person of Asian descent on this planet is voting for her, so she has no worries? She seems to be a sweet young lady and the pictures of her as a little girl are adorable. She talks about doing Polynesian dancing and it’s way less creepy than when Sanjaya did the hula last year. Tonight she sings “Don’t Leave Me this Way” and she sounds really good. Wished she had chosen a different outfit, though; she looks like she’s going to go wash her car or something. Casual or not she can sing her heart out. The judges don’t have their hearing aids in though, because they don’t like it. Simon even throws out the “ghastly wedding” card. Ryan thinks that Ramiele is delightful and makes him feel very tall.
Next up is Kristy, who is the only girl so far who’s not wearing a neck-squeezing scarf in her video. They show a zillion pictures of her being a “tomboy” as she talks about doing what boys like to do. Tonight she has the Felicity hair back and is all shiny and pretty. She also needs to tell Carly where to get that Wonder bra. She does an okay rendition of “You’re No Good,” but I love Linda Ronstadt so much that I don’t want to hear anyone else sing her songs. Kristy ends the song in a terrible way that ruins the entire performance. Because she was so terribly awful last week the judges give her a pass for the most part. Simon says he doesn’t know how to label her, maybe country? Duh – obviously he hasn’t seen the music video she made awhile back. Kristy promises to deliver if she comes back and we all know she will. And no more red popsicles before show time! What is up with that?
We already know that Amanda is a Harley-riding nurse; all that’s left to tell is that she is a bookworm. She looks pretty in the video, wearing one of Robbie’s scarves on her head. Being a “reading is fundamental” person herself, My Kid pronounces that she loves Amanda even more. Tonight is a hard night for our rocker girl though. Not only is Amanda singing the worse song she could have chosen, “Carry on Wayward Son,” she looks horrid. Her head looks like a cross between Cruella de Ville and the mean octopus-woman in The Little Mermaid. My Kid reluctantly concurs that there is a bit of Ursula in Amanda tonight. The judges are not pleased and wonder WTH was she thinking?? Our theory is that she is tired of this “must conform to norm” stuff of AI and is trying to get voted off. So annoying how Paula tells her to go back to Janis, contrary to what was said before.
Alaina is up next and since she just turned 17 last week, there’s not a lot to reveal about her that we don’t already know. This explains why they chose the OCD “food touching on my plate creeps me out” route. Yikes; have a feeling this is going to cost her. Why not talk about the singing contests she won with her sister? Anyways, she looks pretty in a “going to my first homecoming dance” kinda way in a royal blue dress. Sadly she is not as good tonight as last week. Her version of “Hopelessly Devoted To You” is not awful, it’s just rather boring and never-ending. And of course we’re all still thinking about how gross green bean juice really is and why would she talk about that? She is a mere child though and doesn’t know better. The judges don’t think it was her best and Simon plays the “you are too young to let your grandma dress you” card. He likes her though so it’s all good.
Now we learn that Alexandrea was on Showtime at the Apollo. Just kidding; even though she was on that show, she reveals that she was the poster child for the fire department because her dad was a fireman. I really like this girl and she is a lot cuter now than when she was younger. She has never had a good fashion sense though and tonight is really bad. She is dressed in a combo outfit of hiking/camping/fishing/surfing. It’s all over the place, as is her rendition of the Chicago song “If You Leave Me Now.” Her voice is good but she does not seem to be comfortable. The judges say the same thing as well, and Alexandrea seems to be resigned that she was horrid. Although she did not sing poorly, it was definitely too safe. Where was that shining star from last week? We are all hoping that she will get a chance to shine again in the weeks to come. Oh, and she needs a Twinkie stat!
Up next is Kady, who reminds us about the awesomeness of her and her celebrity impressions and that she is kind of a snob. We further learn that when she is in an area with good acoustics, she can do opera very good as well. Gee Kady, so can we. Did like her snark on Simon though, that was pretty funny. Tonight she starts out on the stairs singing another Heart song that I love, “Magic Man.” I have seen Heart in concert several times and Kady is no Ann; heck, she’s not even a Nancy. She has a stumbling moment on the stairs and we all hold our breath. Whew that was close! Every thing about Kady’s performance shouts “I am hot and I know it!” All three judges are puzzled and do not understand why she is so wonderful in her videos and crappy on stage. There should be a role for her on Gossip Girl and maybe this week she’ll be free to pursue that.
Our final performer tonight is Asia’h who reveals that she was a cheerleader. Not a surprise, as she is gorgeous and perky and energetic. I adore this gal; her enthusiasm is infectious and she is genuinely likeable. Unfortunately, she is not that good tonight, and it seems to be a waste of the pimp spot of the evening. Traditionally, this is the one place that a contestant is guaranteed a good review. Not sure why, it’s just worked out that way for seven years now. Asia’h loses the song and doesn’t get it back until the last note. Maybe her dress was so tight she couldn’t breath? Randy and Paula blame the sickness that’s been going around and think she was great. Huh? Come on Simon, keep it real for us. Thank goodness he does and calls her on the fact that she did not pull this off. The Beyonce hairstyle doesn’t work for her either and hopefully she will go back to her funky ‘do.
Review time and the best by a thousand miles is Carly. No one even comes close. Based on tonight’s performance alone Amanda was the worst. Hopefully she will not be one of the girls to go tomorrow. Our picks for leaving, based on personality alone are Kady (please!) and maybe Syesha.
Quotes:
Simon praised Brooke for singing “You’re so Vain” -
Ryan (to Simon): …it’s probably because you think this song is about you, about you… don’t you don’t you?….
Simon: I’ll be honest with you… I actually did.
During Ramiele’s critique -
Ryan (agreeing with Paula): …sometimes don’t second guess right?
Paula: …you’re right on Ryan!
Randy: Right on Ryan … wow.
Simon: Ryan! You’re so clever! (rolls eyes)
About Amanda’s awful hair style -
Ryan (to Randy): I want this look for you this season; this would be hot!
Randy: Dude, you know I used to wear that, man… I got pictures.
Critiquing Alaina’s outfit -
Paula: … we just got to mess you up a little.
Alaina: I love this outfit!
Randy: … it’s a cute outfit.
Ryan: Randy is a female fashion expert.
More fashion talk -
Ryan: … heels and blue dresses are not my thing…
Simon: Well, that’s not exactly true…
Ryan: …the fashion god who wears the same thing every night speaking…
‘Til tomorrow when we find out who’s packing up the Samsonite.
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