It’s audition city number four and American Idol is coming to you from Nashville. For no particular reason, they start out with a clip from RuPaul’s Drag Race disguised as a try-out. Hopefully the shattering we hear is just glass and not our hopes for tonight’s episode.
We are reminded that season four winner Carrie Underwood has captured the heart of Music City, and our collective fingers are crossed that we will find another Mrs. Mike Fisher right here in Nashville.
It won’t be the first girl who is terrible in an over-the-top way and is either A) off her meds or B) pranking everybody out here. I’d rather listen to the auto-tuned Antoine Dodson rant than this racket. (Run and tell THAT.)
Next we get to meet an ex boyfriend/girlfriend, a bubbly red-head and a guy who looks like Phoebe’s brother on Friends. One is still bitter… guess which one? Although the judges unsuccessfully try to play matchmaker, the exes do a duet together that sounds very nice. Randy wants to hear them separately. Rob goes first and he has a Danny Gokey sound, husky and passionate. Chelsee has a unique style also but the judges like their harmony. They are both Hollywood bound so maybe there’s hope for romance yet.
There are approximately 100,000 commercials, including the promo for the upcoming episode of Bones, which is going to be extra gruesomely awesome tonight!
Back to Idol – we see a couple of wannabe groupies that make me yak. Then the southern version of Jack Black tells us that he is a tattoo artist as well as a very horrible singer of Lynyrd Skynyrd songs. At least he’s philosophical about rejection which is a plus.
A former Teen USA swears that her real name is Stormi and that she doesn’t want to get by on looks anymore, but by golly her talent. She has a smooth quality to her voice; it’s not great but she is pretty enough to get the guy votes. Kristy Lee Cook 2.0 - welcome to Hollywood.
Voiceover Ryan tells us that contestants aren’t making it through and it’s because the judges are in a foul mood. Actually I am guessing it’s more because the singers are bad, but I could be over thinking.
Next we meet a sweet young black lady who talks about living on a farm with her adoptive parents who are white. Adrienne has a beautiful voice and sings a Lady Antebellum song very well. ST tells her that she almost made him cry, and Adrienne will not be baling any hay for awhile. She’s going to H’wood and her dad is “tickled.”
Day two in Nashville… the judges arrive and it’s so windy that ST almost loses his hat. The first gal up tells us about all of the singing contests she’s won but we beg to differ. She busts our eardrums with a way too loud Chaka Khan song and is sent on her way.
Steven chides Randy for making like Linda Ronstadt and telling folks “you’re no good, baby you’re no good,” and I can’t help but wonder - has he ever seen this show? Especially since the next few contestants are extra bad with a side order of nuts. Thankfully Ryan is on hand to dispense hugs and Kleenex.
Finally we hear another good singer, a blonde named Jackie who inspires applause from the judges. There’s a totally odd moment when she kisses an elderly guy right in the mouth and even Ryan is confused by this. I don’t even want to know!
Next we have a girl who claims she is 26 but looks younger than any of the teenagers we have seen so far. We already don’t like her because she is awfully braggy in her pageant dress, holding her homemade CD. Her singing is so off-key and whiny that my puppy is retreating under the covers to hide. Buh bye helium girl.
We see a trio of guys make it though - a disheveled cutie named Paul does an old Rod Stewart song. Soulful Jimmie with the hat and horn rims. Danny “was a rolling stone” and it’s a judge sing-along.
Next up is a young man in overalls and a straw hat that looks like the one Chris Daughtry wore way back on his audition day. Matt and his relatives are a foster family to several special needs children, a cause that is very dear to my daughter’s heart. Matt sings “You Lift Me Up” and it’s not the best version they’ve ever heard, but they let him go to H’wood anyway.
Ryan tours the Ryman Auditorium and speculates whether or not we will find the next American Idol in Nashville. It may be the next girl, a 15-year-old who talks about her cousin Holly who battled cancer. Holly is here with Lauren at her audition for moral support. Lauren has a gorgeous voice and is told that she is the best they’ve seen today. She proves herself even more when she brings her family in to meet the judges; then she and Steven do an impromptu duet of the song from the movie where Bruce Willis died while saving the world. Whew, that is a poignant way to end the show!
Quotes from tonight:
Randy: We took a untamed tiger and turned it into a baby.
Steven: She is beyond-o cute. Jen: She’s a baby; she’s 15 years old!
Can’t believe we have to wait six whole days to see more! Next week the auditions will be coming from Austin, Texas. As for now, Booth and the squints have a sniper to catch…
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